1 ❀ video

[mattelrealist]

[ The feed opens on an attractive woman sitting on a standard-issue Heropan Housing couch, smiling with friendly demeanor at the camera. She has long, shimmery blond hair tied up in a high ponytail, bright blue eyes, and eyelashes thick enough to smother a fire. She's definitely the type to know how to prepare to be on camera, because that makeup is flawless; you can't even see her pores. (If... she even has them... ?)

She waves at the camera. ]

Good evening, everyone! I'm Barbie. I arrived here a few weeks ago, but things have been so crazy, I haven't had a chance to talk to you all! I'm super excited to meet you.

Now, I'll admit, becoming a "Registered Hero" isn't what I had planned for this month... or this year! But I've heard about what sort of trouble this place is in, and there's no way I can turn down a request for help so dire. There are so many dangers here... like spies! And kidnappers! And, worst of all... undersized sunglasses!

[ Conspiratorial, with her hand near her mouth for a secret: ] That's a fashion misdemeanor in Malibu. [ And with that out of the way, she straightens back up, her expression warm and welcoming. For someone that looks like she walked out of a makeup commercial (or maybe one for shampoo?), her friendliness and bubbly mood both seem very sincere. ]

While I'm here, I'm going to do everything I can to help. I may only be a toothpaste spokesmodel right now—

[ In what is clearly a practiced gesture, Barbie slips an object out of her purse without looking away from the camera, and for a short, smiling pose brandishes a tube of Gum Belle^® brand toothpaste—and did her teeth just sparkle on cue? That had to be a trick of the light, right?—before slipping it out of sight as if the whole promo never happened. ]

—But if you need a doctor, or a gymnastics coach, or an engineer, or a fashion designer, or a life guard, or an astronaut, or a dolphin trainer... well, you get the idea! Or even if you just need a friend to talk to, I'll be right here in Heropa.

I hope we can all be great friends.

Comments

Voice 2/5 isn't bad

[liverletdie]

What other kind of hero is there to be, though? Did you consider that you'd never be one?

[mattelrealist]

Oh, there's all kinds of heroes! The policewoman who stops a robbery, the flight attendant that administers CPR when her passenger chokes on his anchovy pizza, the teacher that opens up a whole world of possibility to a student who had no idea what they could accomplish... heroes come in all shapes and sizes!

[ PR machine. ]

Superhero just wasn't on my agenda yet.

[liverletdie]

Sometimes, the unexpected is the way it has to happen. Not everything can be according to plan, right?

[ Hella impressed rn ]

[mattelrealist]

Right. Happy accidents can make for great adventures.

[liverletdie]

They can be a bit profitable, yeah. They can also cause a lot more trouble than anyone was expecting. That's the downside.

[mattelrealist]

That's what makes it an adventure!

[liverletdie]

I don't know if I'd call some of the things imports get into "adventures". It's not quite the right spin you want to put on these things.

[ Yeah, that's a PR challenge Barbie!! ]

[mattelrealist]

No?

What sorts of "things" do they get into?

[ Challenge accepted. ]

[liverletdie]

Trouble, a lot of the time. We have some good times, but sometimes people get hurt in the fallout.

It's not something we want to jovially call adventures.

[mattelrealist]

[ Don't be such a Donald down-in-the-Dumps, Tony. ]

I'm sorry to hear that...

Are they short on doctors?

[liverletdie]

[ He's a ruiner. ]

Among other things -- why? You know of some here already?

[mattelrealist]

If people are getting hurt, it's natural to need a doctor. [ She is also very good at dodging questions. ] Among what other things?

[liverletdie]

We're short on a lot of things. People who can change the world, people who can make a difference, people who can stop crime -- and even people who can talk a few of us down, when we get it in our heads to make bad decisions.

The problem with superpowers is that it makes things like that a lot more dangerous.

[mattelrealist]

[ You should see her resume. ]

What makes it more dangerous?

[ She sounds more like she's asking for specifics, rather than about the possibility of danger. ]

[liverletdie]

Really?

Well, how about if you have the power to cover the world in ice, or fire? Or if you could make your every whim happen just by thinking it.

It's a lot of power, and not the kind of power that most people are prepared to handle.

[mattelrealist]

We'd need a lot more parkas and firefighters. [ Is she deliberately glossing over the implication of mass harm and death? Because it sure sounds like it. ] And teachers.

[liverletdie]

[ It sure as hell sounds like it to him too. He can understand wanting to, but... ]

A lot more than that. We need teachers, yes, but we also need people who can stop people like that, before more harm comes to the rest of the normal people out there.

There aren't a lot of people willing to take on that burden.