1 ❀ video

[mattelrealist]

[ The feed opens on an attractive woman sitting on a standard-issue Heropan Housing couch, smiling with friendly demeanor at the camera. She has long, shimmery blond hair tied up in a high ponytail, bright blue eyes, and eyelashes thick enough to smother a fire. She's definitely the type to know how to prepare to be on camera, because that makeup is flawless; you can't even see her pores. (If... she even has them... ?)

She waves at the camera. ]

Good evening, everyone! I'm Barbie. I arrived here a few weeks ago, but things have been so crazy, I haven't had a chance to talk to you all! I'm super excited to meet you.

Now, I'll admit, becoming a "Registered Hero" isn't what I had planned for this month... or this year! But I've heard about what sort of trouble this place is in, and there's no way I can turn down a request for help so dire. There are so many dangers here... like spies! And kidnappers! And, worst of all... undersized sunglasses!

[ Conspiratorial, with her hand near her mouth for a secret: ] That's a fashion misdemeanor in Malibu. [ And with that out of the way, she straightens back up, her expression warm and welcoming. For someone that looks like she walked out of a makeup commercial (or maybe one for shampoo?), her friendliness and bubbly mood both seem very sincere. ]

While I'm here, I'm going to do everything I can to help. I may only be a toothpaste spokesmodel right now—

[ In what is clearly a practiced gesture, Barbie slips an object out of her purse without looking away from the camera, and for a short, smiling pose brandishes a tube of Gum Belle^® brand toothpaste—and did her teeth just sparkle on cue? That had to be a trick of the light, right?—before slipping it out of sight as if the whole promo never happened. ]

—But if you need a doctor, or a gymnastics coach, or an engineer, or a fashion designer, or a life guard, or an astronaut, or a dolphin trainer... well, you get the idea! Or even if you just need a friend to talk to, I'll be right here in Heropa.

I hope we can all be great friends.

Comments

text

[lyingheart]

You're qualified to work in all of those professions?

[mattelrealist]

[ Were you expecting her to switch to texting back? Because that's not happening. It's a vlog party all day every day with Barbie. ]

Of course! I believe a girl can be whatever she puts her mind to—and I've put mine to a lot!

video;

[trickstar]

You have all of those jobs?

[Says the guy who can't even hold down ONE........]

[mattelrealist]

Sure! And a lot more than that, but I didn't pack my resume before I was brought here—it's hard to keep track of them all without it!

Video

[biotically]

Did you practice that before you used the network?

[ Who's that good at selling toothpaste? Who has that many jobs!? ]

[mattelrealist]

I have a lot of practice.

[ Barbie is and does. ]

Voice 2/5 isn't bad

[liverletdie]

What other kind of hero is there to be, though? Did you consider that you'd never be one?

[mattelrealist]

Oh, there's all kinds of heroes! The policewoman who stops a robbery, the flight attendant that administers CPR when her passenger chokes on his anchovy pizza, the teacher that opens up a whole world of possibility to a student who had no idea what they could accomplish... heroes come in all shapes and sizes!

[ PR machine. ]

Superhero just wasn't on my agenda yet.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Pardon me, did you just say that the worst accessory to crime here is... An accessory?

[Undersized sunglasses?]

[mattelrealist]

Have you ever tried covering up underbrow tan lines? Making sunglasses small enough to cause those should be criminal.

text;

[infomodder]

[That moment when he realizes he did not hallucinate Barbie talking to Abigail.

That moment when he realizes the little blurb about her was not imagined.

That moment is now, more or less.]

Aren't undersized and fitting sunglasses the same thing now?

[He's thinking of those enormous bug eyes sunglasses.

And also trying to figure out if he missed a taking a pill — brb drawing a clock.]

[mattelrealist]

I'm not one to dictate what someone should or shouldn't wear, but...

[ But that look on her face is definitely no. ]

When you're out in the sun, you want to give your eyes as much protection as possible. Wouldn't want them to melt.

text }

[lurings]

[ idk man, she just knows barbie is going to respond with video but she can't bring herself to do the same for the sake of fluidity... so text it is. maybe she is just too lazy to get out of bed and doesn't want her sleepy self broadcast across the network. who knows. ]

How many of those jobs did you hold simultaneously? Dolphin trainer in space?

[mattelrealist]

Not that many. [ Still, many. ] It's not always easy to balance a career and a family. As rewarding as I find all my jobs, I want to be there for my sisters and my friends.

video;

[moded]

[This kid looks like he's so excited over what Barbie just said he's about to vibrate right through the floor.

.... Actually, that might kind of be a real concern.]

Wha- whoa! You've been in space and swam with dolphins? That's so crash!

[mattelrealist]

Sure have! There are a few dolphins that live with us in the Dreamhouse. Tawny's working on becoming a dolphin trainer herself.

video

[youbastard]

Wow, that's a really impressive resume.

[mattelrealist]

That's not even half of it.

[ She pauses. ]

Actually, I don't think that's even ten percent. Closer to five, probably. It's hard to keep track of them all.

voice;

[motherfucked]

Wow. That's, um, wow.

[ She's so pink. ]

The toothpaste didn't do that to you, did it?

[mattelrealist]

[ She's in a pink mood.

But the question takes her by surprise; her brows furrow, just a tiny bit, and she tilts her head to one side to stare at the camera. ]

Do what?

[Video]

[onewiththewild]

What are... engineer, fashion designer, astronaut...? [ MANY CONFUSING WORDS ]

[mattelrealist]

[ She ticks them off on her fingers as she answers. ]

An engineer is a person who helps design, build, and maintain all the different things that make a city a city, like roads, and bridges, and shopping malls. A fashion designer is a person who designs and creates clothing lines, which are then made and sold. And an astronaut is a person who studies outer space, the planets, the stars, and everything else, by going into space!

They're all very different, but each one has its own challenges and rewards, and all of them are amaze.

[ There's a trilling note of excitement on that last word—she just gets really excited about everything. ]

video;

[dogsled]

I wasn't aware California's code of law covered accessorizing, although I can certainly see the need. I imagine the glare of sunlight off the ocean alone would prove a hazard, particularly in the evening.

[mattelrealist]

But the view is so worth it.

[ Mention of the ocean view has her sighing in a contented sort of bliss. ]

Sharing the sunset with someone you love... there's nothing better!

video

[sanguineseams]

...fashion misdemeanor.

[are we really going to get after people for what they choose to wear again. this is not what he fought for.]

I would think that a forward-thinking fashion designer would think themselves above common trends.

[mattelrealist]

[ Only if you're a segway-riding Malibu Mall Cop... ]

Eye damage is no minor concern! [ She's so sincere. ] It's like wearing a seat belt. With sequins! Safety and style.

video;

[theoryandcalculation]

[Rei looks thoroughly exasperated with this post, messing with his glasses even though there's no way they could need that much adjustment.]

How are undersized sunglasses more dangerous than spies and kidnappers?

[He lowers his hand, giving her a skeptical look.] And how could one person have had so many careers?

[mattelrealist]

Hard work and perseverance, of course! A girl can do anything she sets her mind to.

Even the one who damages her eyes in the sun from wearing undersized sunglasses! But that's not something I recommend.

[incendere]

That's quite a resume.

[mattelrealist]

You should see they whole thing. From start to finish, it's taller than I am!

voice;

[waiting]

[ Still not over the fact that it's Barbie, and he's pretty sure that sparkle wasn't a trick of the light, but that's just about par for the course for his life. ]

How small do sunglasses have to be to count as undersized?

[mattelrealist]

They're undersized if there's visible eyebrow.

[sofentheblow]

[ Her smile's more on the super fucking calm; aggressively innocent end. The contrast with Barbie's exuberance is a low-level sort of mocking in itself. ]

Are you medicated at the moment?

[mattelrealist]

Nope! [ Pleasant, completely uninsulated. ] I'm fit as a kitten, and twice as pawsitive.

[ They are going to be besties. ]

video;

[brushoff]

I blame John Lennon for the trend of undersized sunglasses. [ Dorian's tone is equally conspiratorial, like they're talking about something utterly horrible instead of...sunglasses. but hey, this is Barbie and he had to talk to her (because it's Barbie) and better talking about sunglasses than anything else. ]

Those little round sunglasses he wore have, unfortunately, become somewhat of a cultural fad--despite the fact that they look terrible on most.

[mattelrealist]

Small lenses are fine in England... There's hardly enough sun to ever need them there!

Video

[everylittlething]

That's a lot of careers!

[Wow, she's really an accomplished woman! But... here is the really tricky question.]

Have you ever been a magician?

[mattelrealist]

Yeah! It's a total blast.

My fav is pulling the rabbit out of the hat. You get to wow the audience, and cuddle something cute! What's not to love about that?

[video]

[disrobes]

[Satsuki can't begin to even with this.]

...that is certainly quite the list. And yet still so much enthusiasm to try out new things.

[mattelrealist]

There's so many things to do! Every change and choice is a chance to help somebody, learn something new, and make new friends. Who can get bored, when there's so much to do?

video because i am not passing up the chance to rp with barbie

[heartboxer]

[ Armstrong watches the whole routine. He, at one point, even double checks his toothpaste to see if it's the same brand. When he responds to the feed, a small shopping list contains the usual (bread, milk, eggs, fruit, etc.) but has the noted addition of Gum Belle®, complete with circled r. ]

That is quite the resume there, miss! How do you even have the time to visit space, coach gymnastics and train dolphins? [ no, seriously, how. ]

they can sparkle together I'm excited

[mattelrealist]

A strong work ethic, great time management, and a can-do attitude! I can't do everything at the same time, of course, but that's no reason to limit what I can do.

[ She's so chipper and pleased to be meeting so many people. ]

Late, but I was on vacation!

[walkingballpit]

[ ... no, it can't be. ]

That's a lot of school. I'm always telling kids to stay in school, but don't you ever want to, y'know, leave?

You some kind of genius?

[ She looks good for that many degrees. ]