maskormenace | 1 ❀ video

[ The feed opens on an attractive woman sitting on a standard-issue Heropan Housing couch, smiling with friendly demeanor at the camera. She has long, shimmery blond hair tied up in a high ponytail, bright blue eyes, and eyelashes thick enough to smother a fire. She's definitely the type to know how to prepare to be on camera, because that makeup is flawless; you can't even see her pores. (If... she even has them... ?)

She waves at the camera. ]

Good evening, everyone! I'm Barbie. I arrived here a few weeks ago, but things have been so crazy, I haven't had a chance to talk to you all! I'm super excited to meet you.

Now, I'll admit, becoming a "Registered Hero" isn't what I had planned for this month... or this year! But I've heard about what sort of trouble this place is in, and there's no way I can turn down a request for help so dire. There are so many dangers here... like spies! And kidnappers! And, worst of all... undersized sunglasses!

[ Conspiratorial, with her hand near her mouth for a secret: ] That's a fashion misdemeanor in Malibu. [ And with that out of the way, she straightens back up, her expression warm and welcoming. For someone that looks like she walked out of a makeup commercial (or maybe one for shampoo?), her friendliness and bubbly mood both seem very sincere. ]

While I'm here, I'm going to do everything I can to help. I may only be a toothpaste spokesmodel right now—

[ In what is clearly a practiced gesture, Barbie slips an object out of her purse without looking away from the camera, and for a short, smiling pose brandishes a tube of Gum Belle^® brand toothpaste—and did her teeth just sparkle on cue? That had to be a trick of the light, right?—before slipping it out of sight as if the whole promo never happened. ]

—But if you need a doctor, or a gymnastics coach, or an engineer, or a fashion designer, or a life guard, or an astronaut, or a dolphin trainer... well, you get the idea! Or even if you just need a friend to talk to, I'll be right here in Heropa.

I hope we can all be great friends.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's hard to say! All of my careers have their own challenges, even when they're in related fields. Even as a chef, sometimes it was a challenge just to make my own dinner without getting sauce on the inside of the cupboards! [ She's a klutz, she means, but... Olympic athlete... ] But it all works out alright in the end.

...You are a trained chef yet you have trouble keeping the sauce inside the jars? [ Well, I suppose everyone has their own weakness. ] I'm quite touched that you can overcome this to master so many career paths despite your occasional inaptitude of coordination. It's all right though! Everyone is prone to face to their own weakness many times in life! Optimism can carry many men from one challenge to the next!

My colleague is known as the Flame Alchemist, who cannot use his flame attacks if he is wet! Coincidentally [ or, perhaps, not. ] many of his fights ended up with some type of moisture being used to hamper his talents.

Exactly! Nobody's perfect, but that shouldn't stop a girl from doing her very best to learn from her mistakes and improve her skills--and herself! Perseverance and kindness in the face of adversary can accomplish great things.

[ They are going to be best friends. ]

[ Armstrong's sniffles can be heard over the feed. ]

Agreed! Your dedication to coming adversity with such poise and gentleness, it is a courageous inspiration I hope to aspire to every single day for the rest of my existing life! I simply must get a full resumé so I can compete with you in some of these things together and I also must know what is next for you, Barbie! [ His sniffles subside for one moment as he looks earnestly into the feed in a mixture of awe and dismay. ] What is the next thing on your agenda that you wish to conquer? Tell me, from a viewpoint of a woman who can almost do it all!

1 ❀ video

they'll be blinded by the light of justice

or gum belle!! but that might just be the same thing.

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