maskormenace | [Video]

Listen up people of Earth, this is Cayde-6 speaking. First point of order: I have been informed that I'm your new Gun Safety Campaign Spokesman and I am very happy to keep your guns safe. Safe with me because my gun didn't make the trip and I'm feeling so very, very, very naked without it. If anyone can give me a loaner I'll owe ya big time.

Point number two: Just ... think of this as one of those ice-breaking exercises. You know the ones where everybody's awkward and doesn't wanna talk but you gotta answer some stupid question? One of those. Just. Just out of idle curiosity: what is your favorite thing about Earth? It can be anything, doesn't matter how small. In fact, it might be the small things that are the most important. Asking for a friend who isn't used to seeing it so ... intact.

[He counts out his fingers to four, thinks again, and subtracts one.]

Aaand number three: gimme the skinny on good places to eat around Maurita Falls? Extra points for good ramen joints. And I mean the real stuff, none of that instant business.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

C'mon over to Heropa's Gum'n'Guns Weaponry. Hope you like gum, too.

Can't say that I do. Gets all stuck to my servos and I tell ya, it is a bitch and a half to get it out. And then you get ants ... no, not a fan.

The hell's a servos?

Servomechanism. It's a machine thingie. I'm a robot.

So not just a Halloween mask?

No. What's a Halloween?

Just missed it. Save that for a next year surprise.

So. Can I, uh, ask some questions here?

No nononono, don't be like that, pleeeeeeeease? I'll only answer your question if you answer mine.

[Yes, he's whining exactly like a petulant child.]

[Her best friend is the same way. Sorry, man. She's used to it.]

Deal.

You here to eat babies?

Wow. I feel a little insulted. Do I really come off as a baby-eater?

That's not a no, man.

My entire purpose is defending humanity. I super do not eat babies.

Is that enough of a "no" for you?

I'll take it. But what powers you? I thought robots wanted sweat human flesh.

[Who has only seen horror robo movies? This gal.]

Never met any kinda bot that actually crave human flesh. And I have met totally evil ones, but that's not really their thing.

And ah ... no idea what actually powers me. All that tech and the people behind it got lost in The Collapse.

But you're programmed for something.

Being roguishly handsome and totally badass?

Try again.

I am being serious. The Collapse wiped out most everything there is to know about Exos. We know bits and bobs, some flashes of our old lives, and there's no end of speculation but ... we're not "for" something the way a combat frame or even a Warmind is for something.

So you're just like people. We're pointless, too.

Yes, we're people. Although I wouldn't think of it so much as being pointless as we get to decide what our point is.

Hooray for us.

You'll need to stick gum on your forehead or something, though. For the demonstrations. We've got a theme at this shop.

Ooh, I got it! I can dress Sundance up like a gumball, that'll be fun.

[A small spherical robot encased in an inversed cube appears over his shoulder and gives the impression that it's giving Cayde side-eye]

[She blinks for a second- then just rolls with it. Hey. Robots. Why wouldn't they have pets?]

Where's Butch?

That would be me. Ish. I don't call myself that but that's kind of the implied reference.

You've got the movies there, too? Well. If something was gonna make it off Earth, that's a good one.

(no subject)

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