[Video]

[lootsnshoots]

Listen up people of Earth, this is Cayde-6 speaking. First point of order: I have been informed that I'm your new Gun Safety Campaign Spokesman and I am very happy to keep your guns safe. Safe with me because my gun didn't make the trip and I'm feeling so very, very, very naked without it. If anyone can give me a loaner I'll owe ya big time.

Point number two: Just ... think of this as one of those ice-breaking exercises. You know the ones where everybody's awkward and doesn't wanna talk but you gotta answer some stupid question? One of those. Just. Just out of idle curiosity: what is your favorite thing about Earth? It can be anything, doesn't matter how small. In fact, it might be the small things that are the most important. Asking for a friend who isn't used to seeing it so ... intact.

[He counts out his fingers to four, thinks again, and subtracts one.]

Aaand number three: gimme the skinny on good places to eat around Maurita Falls? Extra points for good ramen joints. And I mean the real stuff, none of that instant business.

Comments

[killtime]

You're still off by about six thousand years though.

[lootsnshoots]

[Tiny fistpump]

I'm so glad I didn't put a wager on that! But damn, you are too old for this shit.

[killtime]

Sure fucking am. That's my thing: I'm too old for all the shit.

So what's your deal? Are you a robot, or is there something fleshy under all that?

[lootsnshoots]

I'm a robot, but all of us Exos were the squishy kind of human a long time ago.

[killtime]

Hm. That's weird, and I don't really like it.

[lootsnshoots]

Well don't worry, the corporation that made us was destroyed in the apocalypse and most all their tech was lost.

[killtime]

To be fair, I also hate my cellphone, so it's nothing personal.

[lootsnshoots]

But your cellphone isn't a dashing roguish person.

[killtime]

[ Wryly: ]

Cute.

[lootsnshoots]

I really am, sometimes.

[killtime]

What are you the rest of the time? Bad at betting?

[lootsnshoots]

[A DIRECT HIT]

Hey hey hey, I win sometimes.

[killtime]

Hope you're cute when you lose, because it seems like you probably do a lot more of that.

[lootsnshoots]

[Cayde thinks really hard for a minute and unleashes his devastating comeback:]

Uhh ... nuh-uh.

[killtime]

Very convincing.