maskormenace | 1st 💀 Video;

1st 💀 Video;

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Right, that's what I said, Gooseman. [He's going to keep doing this now. It's over.]

Look, I'm trying to do you a favor. I really am. I get it, new stomping grounds. You wanna assert yourself. Get those tailfeathers on display.

I'm telling you. It's not going to work. All you're gonna do is piss people off and maybe get your ass kicked. And give the rest of us imPorts a bad look.

So just, you know. Dial it back. I'm not saying bring it down to one. But you're like at a thirteen now. Maybe shoot for a five?

[GOOSEMAN? THAT'S NOT EVEN...]

Are you—are you hearing impaired, or just this damn dumb?

[But as the guy goes on, it at least lessens(?) his irritation. If only because he finds this guy's warning pretty hysterical.]

You ain't tellin' me nothin' I don't already know, yo. Don't give a shit about how I make y'all look, neither. Go preach to someone with a bleeding heart, 'cos Guzma ain't him!

Look, I warned you. ImPorts tend to get a bad wrap and shooting off your mouth like this isn't just affecting you. It affects the whole community. And some of us have spent a lot of time trying to stabilize relations between people and imPorts.

If all you want is a beatdown, I'll be more than happy to knock some sense into that empty head of yours. It'd be my pleasure to teach you an iota of humility before you go stomping around like the king of big dick mountain.

You keep going on about this garbage like I give a fuck. If my rep is bringing y'all's down, ain't that a shame!

[He really just. Cannot care.]

If you think you can take me on, then do it! Words are wind, yo! Ain't gonna back down from some upstart like you—or anyone, for that matter. I'll beat your ass, and do it while wearing my crown.

[His King of Big Dick Mountain crown, that is. His glasses are almost like a crown.]

Hm. "Upstart."

Where you at right now?

[The smugness in Guzma's expression just gets obnoxious. He can tell he hit a nerve, and he's drinking it in.]

There we go, that's more like it!

[But... where is he, uh.]

...Maurtia Falls? Something like that.

[WHICH HELPS NOTHING when it's a whole damn city. Look, he's new here.]

Alright fine. Let's do it this way.

You just stepped onto new turf, right? Technically that makes you the challenger.

[An address in Nonah pops up on Guzma's comm.]

Meet me here. This way, any damage that gets done will be on my property and no one else's. And to sweeten the pot?

You beat me, the place is yours.

[He just wagered his forge.]

Darin, are you sure this is a good idea?

It'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?

Losing your property.

[Not to mention making the imPorts look like a bunch of fight-thirsty idiots but you shouldn't say it.]

Property's just a thing, Hikaru. I can always set up shop some place else.

Look, if I'm not willing to lay my convictions on the line to prove that working together as a community is important, I've no right to the place.

I didn't spend a year trying to bridge relations for one loud mouth to roll in and screw it all up. At least I know the place is out of the public eye and on controlled ground.

[This still sounds like the absolute worst idea. Ever. Of all time.

It's really clear on the video she's conflicted and doesn't really like it but.]

It's your fight. I'll trust you with it.

I appreciate it.

Don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be fine. Trust me!

[Oh ho ho. Now this got a whole lot better! It's clear on Guzma's face that he's entirely enticed by the wager. Destroying another man's turf, and claiming rights to it? Man, oh man!]

You're pretty confident, huh?

[A beat, and a shrug.]

Or real stupid, but that's not my problem, huh?

Why don't you come on down.

I'll show you which one I am.

[He doesn't even turn off the video as he puts in the address to see exactly where this place is... and wow, that's. That's a bit of a trip to beat up one idiot who's on his high Ponyta. His expression says enough when he realizes the distance.]

Uh, yo. A bit far when you ain't nothing but a yammering loser who's got more to prove than me.

[There's a bit of disappointment to his deflated expression. And here he was getting all riled up, too!]

Pass.

It's...It's like a half an hour tops.

Go to the Porter.

Ask to be brought to Nonah.

My Forge isn't even that far from the Porter in Nonah. Are you literally this lazy?

Oh.

[See! That's the helpful shit he's asking for! He's technically getting the details he wanted, and a fight.

He's great at this.]

Ain't lazy, so much as wondering if you're actually worth the effort, yo. But! With the porter making this shit all expedited, maybe you are.

[Darin pinches the bridge of his nose.]

Look, it might seem daunting but there's five Porter cities. I live in Heropa, but my Forge is in Nonah. Long story. Point is, we imPorts can use the Porter to get to any of these five cities without having to go cross-country.

Define 'worth the effort.' Because now you've got me curious.

[The more irritated Darin gets, the more amused Guzma is. Honestly, how great is it when you wanna beat someone's ass, and they're practically going through explanation loops to guarantee their ass kicking? It's pretty awesome!]

You really want to get smashed by big bad Guzma that bad, huh?

[But this is all nice info to have. Good to know he can port around and deliver beat downs like a pizza delivery boy does greasy pizza.]

Well, if you ain't even a challenge, it's a waste of time yo. Sure, I like squashing weaklings like the next dude, but there ain't as much satisfaction.

Yeah. Yeah I really want to see what kinda smashing you can do.

But then what's a challenge to you? Are your powers so great that you can't be beat?

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