maskormenace | 1st 💀 Video;

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uh, a roguishly handsome name for a roguishly handsome guy, obviously.

It's like a crime-fighting, world-saving club? Well. Not exactly a club. A lil' more official than that but not like. World-spanning authority official.

Uh-huh, is that what you tell yourself?

[Guzma loses interest the moment he hears "crime-fighting". So, you know. Immediately.]

Yeah, don't care about none of that.

Oh I tell myself plenty of things, but the handsome and roguish thing? I live that.

[Ironically, he's pretty okay with like. Cool crimes.]

[Okay, that gets a laugh outta Guzma. He digs a dude with unapologetic ego.]

Oh yeah? Well, I guess chicks do dig a dude with confidence. Even if he's a little weird lookin'.

[Um, all crime is cool!]

[Murdery space piracy isn't!! No matter how unimaginably cool those words are together, it is a Bad Crime Actually.]

They really do. Although, y'know, I think it's actually the horn. It's one thing to be a hunky robot, but bein' a hunky unicorn 'bot? That's next level, my friend.

[Okay, out of all the crimes, Guzma supposes he's not really down with murder. Not that he'd admit that to anyone!]

Y'know, I was wondering if that was just some costume you were wearing for the hell of it, but... you really a robot? Robot unicorn, whatever.

More like a man 'bot with great taste in head accessories, but yeah. Human consciousness. Real robot.

That ain't the wildest shit I've heard, but it's up there.

[Considering how some ghost Pokémon are... Rotom, for example. If a ghost Pokémon can possess a washing machine, he guesses a human ghost can posses a robot??

Curiously:]

So, how does something like that happen?

I don't know the particulars, exactly. I don't remember much and the tech's been lost to time.

[He shrugs.]

Huh.

Well, do you like it? Can't say I ever thought about being a robot none...

[He kinda likes his flesh prison, honestly.]

Oh it's got its complications ... but yeah, I'm alright with it.

[He doesn't have concrete memories of having skin, anyway.]

If you ain't miserable, then I guess it ain't as shitty as it could be, huh?

[Well, you can't miss what you can't remember right?]

—Wait, if you're a robot, does that mean you ain't got emotions?

What? 'Course I got emotions! I got lots of 'em!

Guess that's 'cos the whole human mind thing, huh?

[He literally knows nothing about robotics as is, but this is just something even harder to grasp.]

Either way, the whole thing's kinda wack.

Well yeah, it is, but even non-human based A.I. develop their own quirks after a while.

['Kind of wack' is an understatement for the whole Exo thing, but Cayde's not about to go into it.]

Yeah but that don't really change that it's different, y'know?

[It's different but... how much is it really? Organic circuitry vs inorganic circuitry. Same thing, different material, but Guzma's not the brightest.]

Oh yeah, we're different from fully synth A.I. It's kinda hard to explain when you don't really have a basis for comparison but trust me, us Exos? Totally human-brained. Well. Not like the actual meat part. But the thinkin' and feelin' part? That's the same.

Uh huh...

[That shit is so over his head, man.]

Man, my world ain't got nothing like that. Well, as far as I know, anyway. Not that the technology we had was behind this place none, but...

[Well, his world was working on opening gates to another universe, and Lusamine was one component away from doing just that. So, technically a little behind, but it's kinda negligible.]

[If he didn't live it, he wouldn't get it either, really.]

Yeah, I'm from a pretty weird timeline. Don't worry 'bout it.

Tch, I ain't worrying about shit, dude.

[As is evident by how he acts, but clearly it needed to be stated.]

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