maskormenace | 1st 💀 Video;

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's a real simple way of lookin' at it. It ain't all battling, they help with shit like construction, power plants, so on. But! If that's all you can do to get it, simplify it like that, then there ain't much to be done, huh?

[Yeah, he's just gonna assume Akibo's stupid if it's that hard for him to grasp.]

As for worshipping them as gods--look I ain't too fond of how these traditions are being handled myself, but the Tapu ain't ones to be pushed around. They've taken out a whole town when angered before, so appeasing them is what we do.

[The Tapu are pretty damn vengeful when they're made unhappy, Guzma's seen that wrath first hand. It's not pretty.]

[ It's not as though the concept of using animals for labor is lost on Akobi. His own galaxy has plenty of examples. Taun-tauns, wampas... you name it. So he's not as dim as Guzma seems to think he is, he just can't separate the notion of creatures = lesser beings, not equals. ]

Is it possible to tame one of these... "Tapu," and catch them in one of your little ball devices?

[The thing that Akobi is missing is the fact that Pokémon are sentient, even if they just look like animals. Or objects. Or... unfortunately more human like.]

Tch. Technically, you could, yeah.

[But who would try to catch what amounts to basically a god?]

But it's pointless if the Tapu don't think you're worthy, yo! Ain't no one in Alola that's gonna try to catch a sacred Pokémon like that.

Edited 2019-06-17 00:26 (UTC)

[ Having no real religious affiliations himself, Akobi cannot relate. ]

I take it "Alola" is the name of your planet?

[There's religious affiliation, and then there's these crazy Pokémon killed a man, and destroyed a village because it didn't like where a megamart was built. I'm sure throwing a Poké Ball is a one-way ticket to smitesville if the thing wasn't interested in being treated like some random wild Pokémon.

Guzma's just assuming Akobi either got it through his head, or he's just given up on that front. Either way works for Guzma. It's not like he's fond of the traditions of Alola, anyway.]

Nah, Alola is the region I'm from.

[ It's definitely the latter. He's getting awful tired of petty squabbles. ]

I see. Well. Welcome to Earth. I hope you'll conduct yourself with the appropriate level of courtesy, as a guest on this planet.

Thanks, yo.

I'll be sure to act the part of the ignorant outsider, as is what's expected of foreigners.

[He's gotten plenty of examples to follow with Alola opening up to the rest of the world, so surely he'll do just fine.]

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