1st 💀 Video;

[golisolation]

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Comments

[crypdick]

I'm sure that will be easy, won't it?

[ He's not really a fighter. The hint of sarcasm comes more from him doubting Guzma could catch him at all. ]

You know, I think you might have potential.

[golisolation]

Yeah!?

[But then he says that next bit and it catches Guzma. He's not sure what to do with that comment, and so his anger twists into confusion, maybe a touch of bafflement.]

Uh, the fuck you mean by that, yo? I'm well past havin' only potential!

[crypdick]

Whatever you were, whatever you did before, that matters less than what you do now. And I think you might put on a good show.

But we'll see, won't we?

[golisolation]

[Uh...]





So...

[beat]

Are you... wanting that beatdown, or..?

[HE IS SO THROWN OFF BY THIS WEIRD CRYPTIC SHIT.]

[crypdick]

Did you still want to give me one?

[ Genuinely curious, as if they were talking about someone else. ]

[golisolation]

[Now he's not sure. Never before has his anger been so thoroughly extinguished by crushing confusion. What the hell even are you, Outsider!?]

...I mean, yeah?

[He doesn't sound convinced.

To be fair, he always wants to beat someone down, but this whole thing went from him being immediately riled, to confused into near complacency.]

[crypdick]

You wouldn't be the first.

[golisolation]

Can't say I'm surprised none, you're kinda an annoyin' prick.

[But it's weird, because while Guzma was so riled a minute ago, that slap to the brain with confusion has mellowed him. For the moment, anyway.]

How'd that go, huh?

[crypdick]

No one ever got the opportunity. But some did start a religion devoted to hating me.

[golisolation]

Yoooo! That's some next level foulness, and if you ain't yankin' my chain here, I gotta say I'm impressed.

[Look man, Guzma respects when someone can inspire that kind of hatred in people, let alone a group of people. To the point of a hate-religion? Damn man, that's something to shoot for.]

[crypdick]

I don't have the tendency to fabricate.

Impressed isnt the usual reaction.

[golisolation]

Yeah, you're a little too boring for that shit.

[Guzma smirks at that comment, though.]

Heheh. What can I say, I ain't what most consider "usual".

[crypdick]

[ Wow, rude, he is not boring, thank you. Duel at dawn. No, he isn't even going to address something so tedious. ]

That's what I'm counting on.

[golisolation]

[That's fine, he was just throwing that out there to be an ass. The Outside is interesting in his own way, even if he comes across kinda mild and less reactive than Guzma usually likes.]

Oh yeah? Like that I stand out, or something?

[crypdick]

Something like that.

Enjoy your fights. Try not to bleed out.

[ Then he disconnects, because he always has to have the last word. ]