maskormenace | 1st 💀 Video;

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sure can. If you take the Porter, you can land up on the moon base along with the other Porter cities.

[ At least, that's how it used to be. Lester's not exactly in a hurry to go back! ]

A couple of times, yeah. First time, there was a hostage situation. Second time... [ he pauses. He wants to call it a 'Die Hard' situation, but Guzma didn't even know what Chinese food was. What's a good analogy? ] Well, second time wasn't even us. A bunch of scientists decided to have robots attack.

Hmm.

[Yeah he's not sure what he thinks about that. However, what good old Lester has to add is a bit more interesting. Hostage situation, robot attacks? Man, this place...]

The more I hear, the more this place gets interesting, yo. What was the whole hostage thing about? And the robots, I guess.

Well, I wasn't there for the first, so all I can tell you is public record. Apparently, someone called 'the Negotiator' tried to take it over and took a bunch of imPorts hostage.

As for the robots, that was just annoying. [ he sighs, ] It was something out of a movie. We throw a party; robots interrupt. No manners whatsoever.

Wait, was this Negotiator dude an imPort as well? Or did us imPorts take the heat for something we were targeted for to begin with?

Dunno what you expect from robots. They only do what they're programmed to do, yeah? Ain't no manners program, ain't no manners, yo.

Negotiator? Yeah, totally an imPort. [ Lester scoffs, mostly at his memory - ] We've taken the heat before, but that was all internal. Also -

You have to program them to be nice? [ why is this news to him. ] That uh, that explains a lot.

Tch, typical.

[Not that he has room to talk, anything that'd go back with foreigners or outsiders he'd blame them all equally for, so maybe he understands the natives here better than he's let on.]

Do you not get how robots work? I ain't no mechanic or nothing, but they're machines ain't they? All that shit's got programs to make 'em run and do what they're supposed to, right?

[It makes sense to him, for what little understanding he holds towards things like that. Look, he knows how to use a smartphone, ok. That's enough to get the general idea behind robots.]

Well, yeah. I've just never thought about it before.

[ Not so concretely, anyway. Machines were invented in his lifetime! They were also just the domain of his brother, so he kind of left everything to said brother or poor mortal heroes that had to follow his bidding. ]

Makes sense. Someone like a villain programs one, and of course it attacks us on the moon. [ he frowns, ] But going back to the original point - yeah, you can totally go on the moon. Just don't be surprised if other people don't want to.

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