maskormenace | 1st 💀 Video;

1st 💀 Video;

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

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[ Ah, oh well. He deflates a little. ]

Nah, he's just a good friend of mine. From the same world. There seem to be a lot of you guys here, actually.

Did you bring any Pokémon with you?

Real surprisin' that we dudes who come from the same world, which is an entire damn planet, don't know each other, huh?

[Okay, Sergeant Sarcasm.]

Yeah I brought some of my team... but, there's a lot of us? How many you talkin' here?

[He needs to know. For reasons.]

Look, half of the people from my universe here are from the same family, and there are literally billions of us to choose from. Those that aren't Skywalkers almost always know them, or know of them, somehow. It's not as crazy as it sounds.

Uh - I'm not sure how many exactly, at the moment. They come and go. Red and Blue were here, but they're gone. Matt was here - Maxie - you'd have to ask Archie. He'd know.

...So, you sayin' there's some kinda anchor for each universe us dudes are plucked from? Them Skywalkers being yours?

[Interesting theory. Interesting enough that Guzma isn't sassying immediately.]

Hmm. Nah, ain't know a one of them. Maybe that theory's got more holes in it than we thought, huh?

Archie like some kinda Boss 'round here for those from my turf?

I have no idea in hell how the porter works, I just know that for some places it likes patterns. Sometimes it doesn't, though. One of the first women I met here was a jedi from three thousand years before me. And Jadus is from somewhere around there, too. So it's definitely not a completely solid theory.

[ He shakes his head. ]

Nah. I mean, he helps run Aegis, sometimes, but that's for all imPorts, not just those from your world. He'd just a good guy, and likes people, so he knows a lot of them. He keeps tabs on you guys especially, I think.

Maybe it's just terrible coincidence, yo. Who knows, this sorta shit is beyond me.

[He's a stupid man, but even most can't grasp this sorta thing easily. He knows when to back out.]

Sounds like a douche. Hope I don't run into him anytime soon.

[How ironic.]

Hey, watch your mouth. He’s one of my best friends.

You’d be lucky to meet him.

[ Poe offered a smile that would have been charming if it wasn’t so edged. ]

I’d have no qualms about putting a douche through a wall if they gave him grief.

Yeah!? You gonna make me, tough guy!?

[He doesn't seem remotely intimidated, if anything, he looks pretty energetic about this whole thing. Like that threat gave him a boost like he downed two damn shots of espresso!]

I'll be sure to smash his face in real good if I come across this dickhead. Just for you, yo.

[Threatening Guzma just riles him, it has the opposite effect it should...]

[ Unfortunately - or maybe fortunately? - Poe is also an easily riled person, despite all his best efforts to the contrary. ]

Go and try it. I'd like to see him lay you flat on your ass.

[ Sorry, Archie. ]

Heheheheh... Yeah? You that confident in your boy Archie, huh?

[He sneers.]

Guess more confident in him than yourself, seein' as you ain't lookin' too willing to make me "watch my mouth."

[ Poe, you should not be doing this. Poe, you should not be-- ]

That eager for a bruising?

Time and place.

[ ... idiot. ]

[Goddammit]

Maurtia Falls, right fuckin' now. 'Less you need time to find your balls before facing me. I wouldn't blame ya!

[Aaand that's an address Guzma just sent. It's not his place, but it's not far from it either, not that Poe would know that.

What a pair. These two...]

[ Poe is literally in another city, but luckily he has flying powers and - wait, is that his boyfriend's address?

That is his boyfriend's address.

WHAT THE FUCK, PUNK? ARE YOU SHITTING WITH HIM. ]

You've got ten minutes.

[ And he disconnects like an asshole and grabs his carpet. Good thing he can fly to the porter building really fast. ]

[The address is PURE HAPPENSTANCE but hey, if it makes Poe bring his A game, it's one that Guzma welcomes. He'll definitely be keeping an eye on the time as he waits outside the building for Poe, because he's an asshole, and what else is that gaudy gold watch for?

So, when Poe arrives, Guzma is waiting for him, leaning against the building with his arms crossed, looking every bit of the punk he is. And, maybe it was less obvious from the video, but Guzma is a big fucking dude.

Even leaning against the wall with a bit of a forward slouch still, he's over 6', and he's got a pretty broad build, and there's certainly muscle to him. He's not stacked like some dudes, but he doesn't look like the type of guy you'd wanna run into in a dark alley. Or outside an apartment building in broad ass daylight, but clearly Poe isn't someone with ordinary rational.

He looks up when he notices Poe, a grin spreading across his face.]

Thought you said 10 minutes, yo.

[Yeah, Guzma actually doesn't know how long it took, because he got bored of watching the time a few minutes in. Look, his attention is on other things, like beating this dude down!]

What, did you need the last 30 seconds of the clock to work up your nerve?

[ Poe also doesn't know what time it is, but he doesn't care.

He's also, you know, flying a carpet. Which he brings to a stop in front of Guzma, hovering a foot above the ground. Which is good, because that brings him up about eye height.

Poe is, in contrast, not a large man. He's stocky, and he's solid, and he's got some decent arms - but he's only about 5'8". He's also a decade older. He's a pilot, okay? His dad might have raised him with all the infantry training that he went through, but that didn't make Poe any less of a momma's boy pilot.

But he doesn't seem to care about the height difference at all. Instead, he hops off the carpet, glaring up at Guzma with pure defiance.

No one ever called Poe rational, okay. ]

So, you gonna stop talking smack about someone you've never met, or do I have to teach you some manners?

Nah, just wanted to finish my nap, but I'm sure facing off against you will lull me back to sleep.

[Guzma has come to just... accept this world is filled with a lot of weird ass shit. So, while he stares at the approaching carpet riding Poe with a quirked of his eyebrow, and a slight cock of his head, he doesn't... comment. But it's cute, how this tiny sprite of a man (Poe isn't a sprite, but Guzma's not gonna accept a different reality) uses it to be eye level with him.

But then he's stepping down from his magic step-stool, and the height difference is all the more obvious. It's almost cute, like a Rockruff trying to take on a Lycanroc. Guzma can't help that low chuckle that leaves him at the sight.]

Shit man—I musta forgot all my manners when I got brought here. What was I thinking, huh? [Guzma nods shallowly, playing it up a little with a fake ass defeated expression, like he just totally got called out, and it meant anything at all. But then he's grinning once more, like a total jackass, a split second later.] Or, maybe I just ain't never had 'em to begin with.

Never been one too good at learnin' about shit I don't give a fuck about, neither!

[Guzma pushes off the wall, letting his arms fall out of the cross, but only for a second. In the next, he's already swinging a fist at Poe's face. Sorry, buddy, but Guzma's a scrappy and sketchy fighter, and if Poe's just gonna present an opening, he's gonna take it.]

Edited 2019-06-24 01:55 (UTC)

[ Poe isn’t fooled for a second, but that doesn’t matter very much. Even expecting the blow doesn’t give him a huge amount of time to block or dodge it, but he manages to at least move far enough that Guzma’s fist just clips his face instead of knocks him cold. Still, it fucking hurts? ]

Fucking prick—

[ Usually this would be the time that a reasonable person would realize they were over their head. Instead, this just proves to Poe that fighting this asshole is totally justified. So he just takes the hit and goes right into it, not bothering to aim for Guzma’s face and instead going tight and low for his gut. ]

[Tch, not fast enough. A credit he doesn't give to Poe, that speed in which he dodged the hit, or the alertness he has in order to catch Guzma's intent before the fist was swung.

But a hit's a hit, and so Guzma will take it!]

Damn right!

[He quips back, but then Poe's giving his own strike, and while it connects pretty solidly, it's almost too solidly. No one's stomach should be that hard, it's like punching concrete. Guzma doesn't even recoil from the impact, which is the next worrying sign.

Guzma lets out a laugh, raising an eyebrow as he shrugs dismissively, his arms out at his sides. An arrogant display if there ever was one.]

...Is that all ya got?

[Yeah, he's gonna play like that wasn't his power activating and giving him that diamond-hard carapace on his stomach. 100% rock solid abs, that's what that is, totally!]

[ Poe can't help the brief moment of wondering if everyone in the Pokemon universe is just Stupidly Well Built, but pushes it away quickly.

So what if the man is like a brick wall? All the more reason to just keep hitting him harder.

Which is what he immediately tries to do, before Guzma even gets the last word of his sentence, out.

Look he'd try to do anything else but he can't even reach the guy's head properly. So just gonna keep trying to punch Guzma in the gut until something gets done about it!!]

[That second hit doesn't do much more than the first, he's still hitting his carapace-covered torso, and Guzma looks all the more smug for it. His eyebrow raises as he stares down at him, clearly amused by this all.]

...Ya done? [He lets out an amused grunt.[ My turn.

[And without further ado, Guzma is making a grab for Poe's shirt, following up with a punch aimed for his face. Poe might struggle to reach Guzma's head, but Guzma is far from suffering the same struggle.]

[ There's no time to block that punch, and Poe takes it full force to the face, sending him stumbling back a foot, and biting the inside of his cheek, tasting blood. Fuck, the guy could pack a punch.

Poe immediately twisted back around to glare up at him, his face throbbing with what would definitely be a dark shiner in about three hours, but no less defiant.

Fine. Poe knew when he was out gunned.

He raised a hand, pointing his index finger like a gun and aimed it at his own head.

He snapped his fingers and a light burst from them - a spark - and the adrenaline rush that came with it was instant.

Did it give him powers? No. Not beyond what a massive surge of adrenaline could do for a normal person anyway. But that was still enough to try hitting a little harder. And Poe was all too happy to play dirty, now.

Punching was obviously not going to work, so instead Poe just - rammed into him. He could probably knock this monster over? Right? ]

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1st 💀 Video;

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