1st 💀 Video;

[golisolation]

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Comments

[golisolation]

[Well, the height comparison isn't as obvious to Guzma till he's out of the water proper. Which he is now, because fuck staying in that lake longer than what's necessary. He's fucking soaked, and that sucks, but what can you do, right? Golisopod stays in the water, though. Just watching from the surface near the shore.

But out of the water now, Guzma raises an eyebrow at Riptide, because even with his slouch it's kinda whatever! What's 6 inches? No biggie! Especially with Guzma standing up straight—but Riptide has an inch on him still. There's a notable lack of neck craning, since they're almost eye level.]

Yeah, see? Much better.

[He's not sore over an inch difference, not when he towers over most people anyway.]

[knaval]

[he stares guzma down.

hard.

unrelenting.

his eye twitches.]

...What were we talking about again?

[golisolation]

[Guzma just stares at him back.

While being soaking wet.

He shivers a little.]

...Really? Here I thought you being a robot you'd have better memory than that.

[Guzma shrugs, with an amused smirk.]

We were talking about how humans are better than robots.

[knaval]

I'm not a robot. Don't be racist.

[he huffs, turning to walk back to the concrete path. oh, how he hates the feel of sand.]

I doubt that.

[golisolation]

Is it really racist if you're made of metal?

[Wow, that sounds like a thing a racist would say. Guzma follows, though, mainly because they're talking, but also because he doesn't need sand sticking to him and his clothes even more.

Too bad he doesn't have a fire type Pokémon right now to dry himself with.]

Oh yeah? Tell me what makes you cyberlosers so special—besides being fucking massive, that's a given.

[knaval]

...Yes??

[he says, looking at guzma like he's the biggest dumbass ever. which is impressive, given that this is riptide.]

Uhhh... I fight good! I didn't die for three million years!