maskormenace | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ So here's a new kid on the network tonight. Trying to find an angle that lets him hide at least some of his nervousness. Or at least lets him use it to channel his best impression of a Definitely Normal Team, No Superheroics Here Honest. He mostly just looks awkward and nerdy, which is … accurate anyway, so let’s go with that. ]

Hey - um, so I’m Peter. Peter Parker. And I just got here, and -

[ He’s read through what’s left of his files, he’s read through the last couple weeks of posts just to get a feel for things. After that, he has one incredibly important question: ]

Did I seriously just barely miss out on a Death Star being here? For real? That’s not fair. Please tell me it’s coming back at some point.

[ That’s probably an objectively incorrect thing to want, but. Look. That would have made his entire life. He could die happy. For the second time. Well, the second time dying, first time dying happy. Anyway, he turns reluctantly to the list of actual serious questions he made. Not enough time to ask them all (unless he just takes in a breath and rapid fire asks all of them in thirty seconds) so he’ll just pick one for now. ]

So, school. How is that working out for people who still hafta go? And can you like … argue with it at all? Because I’m all for finishing high school, but this is my third time going into sophomore year and I’m starting to feel like that movie with the Ghostbuster being depressed in Pennsylvania.

(( OOC: Spoilers for Far From Home are likely, but I can avoid them if necessary! ))

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Sorry - I'm really sorry -

[ He can't stop laughing. ]

You can stop at any time.

[ Somehow, he manages to stop. Ish. There may still be some giggling. ]

That's seriously a superpower?

Yes. You will find that the Porter is not always kind in what it chooses to grant people.

[ It's not even Akobi's least favorite of his powers. He was given the kriffing Force to deal with. ]

Hey man, I get it. My only super power is sticking to stuff.

[ Akobi raises an eyebrow. ]

That is certainly... unusual. And I can see how it would be inconvenient, if not properly controlled.

Right? It's how I lost half of my file right at the start. Stuck to it so bad I had to tear it apart to get it off me.

Edited 2019-08-10 14:15 (UTC)

Unfortunate. One of the many downfalls of paper documents.

[ Oh, how he misses datapads. ]

You may want to see about getting another copy for your reference. There could be powers the Porter has given you that you don't know about.

[ Oh good, there's his excuse for inevitably showing people the rest of his spider-powers. ]

Really? Did that happen to you?

I have ported in and out three times now, with my bevy of powers changing slightly each time. The most recent time it happened, I ignored the file handed to me in an effort to return to my life here as quickly as possible, only to then discover that the Porter had given me the most egregious power yet!

[ Wait for it... ]

The Force, for stars' sakes!

[ He's still kind of waiting, man. With that buildup he assumed it would be bad. ]

... Wait, seriously? You're mad about that?

You seem to know a lot about my galaxy. So tell me... Can you think of any reason why an Imperial officer would be glad to suddenly be able to use the force like a blasted Jedi?

Immunity to casual inter-office force chokes?

[ Akobi can't help the way he rubs at his neck. ]

I've had the luck to avoid being choked by Lord Vader so far throughout my career. I don't exactly plan on doing the choking...

So there you go. Now if he tries, you can stop him. Or at least, like, not get choked as bad.

Two people choking each other does not equal less choking.

And besides, he's bound to be better at it than I am. I've got no training, and he's Lord Vader.

Look, man, at least you'd have a better shot. Also it's the Force.

Yes, well... Out of all the Sith or would-be Sith on this planet, Vader is the least of my worries.

[ He hasn't even technically spoken to the man who would become Lord Vader. The dissonance would be too jarring for him. ]

Really? Wait, does that mean Vader is here?

Sort of... Not exactly.

There is a man here named Anakin Skywalker. I have been told that, in his relative future, he will become Lord Vader.

[ His eyes bug out a little. ]

Oh man. That’s wild.

Yes. But like I said, he is not the one you need to watch out for.

If you see a man in a mask, calling himself Darth Jadus. Just... stay away.

[ Huh. That’s not ringing any bells. ]

What’s he like?

Horrible. Even just being near him is enough to fill one with a sense of impending dread. He comes from the time of the ancient Sith Empire, several millennia before the Empire and the Rebellion.

[ Oh. Okay, he gets it now. This is some EU stuff. ]

Damn. Okay, noted. Don’t call him silly nicknames to his face.