VIDEO

[killtime]

[ The camera angle is. Bad. This is a person who does not know how to use their communicator well. They probably can't even take a proper selfie. All that's showing is a pair of combat boots moving around in the grass — someone's backyard? — and in the distance, much farther out, a tree that (oddly enough) has a single board nailed to it for a reason only the gods know. It's not even nailed on straight.

The boots stop wandering. It's quiet for a moment.

Then there's a thwip, almost like the sound of a rubber band, and a thunk moments later, as an arrow hits the crooked board, dead center.

Unceremoniously then, a woman's voice: ]

Any of you know shit about teenagers?

[ Another thunk. A second arrow, its head practically kissing the first where it strikes. ]

What do normal fifteen-year-olds do these days?

[ Thunk. A third arrow. Three for three.

A mutter then, half to herself: ]

Fuck. Probably better get around to the whole "birds and bees" thing.

Comments

[killtime]

At least he isn't stuck looking that way.

[h2no]

Unlike the rest of us, huh?

[killtime]

Don't act like you're not handsome, asshole. We've all seen you.

[h2no]

Even with my beard shaved? Tater, that might be true love right there.

[killtime]

Loving you after you dropped my drunk ass hard enough to crack my skull open — that's the true shit. Fuck the beard.

[h2no]

Ah, yes. The first time of many I saw your brains. It's almost a fond memory now.

[it is not.]

Does that even count if it wasn't gonna kill ya?

[killtime]

People don't usually take kindly to having their head non-fatally busted either. [ Dryly: ] But nobody's forcing you to appreciate my affection.

[h2no]

Don't make me consider the timeline where you're not immortal. That really would've ruined my day, if you couldn't regrow your skull.

[killtime]

I've never technically been immortal. You know that shit's just shorthand for "I mostly can't die but will someday, and there's no way of telling when the curse that's kept me alive for seven thousand years will finally say 'fuck you.'"

[h2no]

Semantics!

[killtime]

Facts.