maskormenace

Entry tags:

VIDEO

[ The camera angle is. Bad. This is a person who does not know how to use their communicator well. They probably can't even take a proper selfie. All that's showing is a pair of combat boots moving around in the grass — someone's backyard? — and in the distance, much farther out, a tree that (oddly enough) has a single board nailed to it for a reason only the gods know. It's not even nailed on straight.

The boots stop wandering. It's quiet for a moment.

Then there's a thwip, almost like the sound of a rubber band, and a thunk moments later, as an arrow hits the crooked board, dead center.

Unceremoniously then, a woman's voice: ]

Any of you know shit about teenagers?

[ Another thunk. A second arrow, its head practically kissing the first where it strikes. ]

What do normal fifteen-year-olds do these days?

[ Thunk. A third arrow. Three for three.

A mutter then, half to herself: ]

Fuck. Probably better get around to the whole "birds and bees" thing.

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By fifteen, I would really hope the birds and the bees have been pretty thoroughly understood.

You rang? I'm barely legal and looking to mingle.

[she giggles at her own joke. then, casually:]

Depends on the kid. I was pretty into my hobbies back then when I wasn't at school. But uh, I promise they already know about that stuff just from their classmates.

[ It takes him a long time to decide whether or not he should actually reply to this. If she's just going to yell at him for replying at all. But in the end... ]

you do not want him doing what i was doing when i was fifteen

but he's a good kid, andy

ask him?

If it's any comfort, most fifteen-year-olds already know about fuckin'.

[Yeah, that's helpful.]

I know that they're annoying and more trouble than they're worth.

You should probably just send it to the pound or something.

Can you show me how to do that? [A baseball bat’s one thing but now that Eddie is here, Richie wants to be able to better defend himself and his friends. Just in case. Plus, bows and arrows are cool.]

They go see movies, duh. And they play video games. [He scratches over the back of his head, makes a face.] I knew a couple of teenagers who were some real pieces of shit, so I don’t think they count as normal.

But they knew what [finger-quoting] “the birds and the bees” were already, and I’m pretty sure a few of them had first-hand experience. So what the fuck’s up with your kid?

Crowdsourcing information, are you?

[ ... ]

Always gathered he'd know about that by now.

I know that they're a pain in the ass, mostly. I know I was one once, but I mean, my experiences are by no means universal.

Edited 2020-01-09 09:01 (UTC)

[well this is unexpected and CONCERNING. archie covers it with a veneer of bullshit like he always does.]

Good lord. What happened?

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