maskormenace | video.

[ when the feed clicks on, it's easy to tell that nick's in the kitchen, probably one that's similar to most in the issued residencies. his tone's a far cry from casual, but the fact that he's apparently wasting time at home at least offers some semblance of nonchalance. ]

My name is Nick Burkhardt. I'm with the Portland— previously of the PPB, currently with the... [ a pause, and extremely reluctantly: ] Heropa PD.

[ that's the formal introduction out of the way. which is the easy part; identify yourself, follow routine. going out of his way to make friends isn't something nick's done in a long time, which is probably going to be obvious in roughly ten seconds. his effort to drop the professional approach ends up sounding more neutral than genuinely amicable, but at least it keeps this from sounding like a full-on interrogation. ]

I wasn't planning on getting a tattoo, but given the choice I'd have gone for something a little less on the nose. And while I'm sure cops everywhere would appreciate the vote of confidence, something tells me this place is working with a flexible definition of the word hero.

[ definitely a judgement on what he's seen on the network rather than any kind of careful introspection. no offense. ]

Everyone's talking about whether or not we should register. I'm wondering what gives us the right to in the first place. [ a slight pause, and then he has the decency to sound a bit wry at his own expense. ] So on a scale of recycling to wearing spandex, how heroic do you think you rate?

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[ there's a brief pause to squint at the screen, then an actual smile. ]

Working late? [ not snooping. well, maybe snooping, but in that casually observant way. ] I'm not sure justice has a standard definition, either.

[ and oh right, manners. ] It's nice to meet you.

[ she smiles at "it's nice to meet you." so polite. ] Always. My idea of night life is a stakeout.

And you can put me down for Old Testament style justice, then. [ she's not religious, but the comparison still stands. an eye for an eye, man. ] Not sure where that fits on the scale.

[ but she's going to register, anyway, because this is a sweat deal as far as undercover work goes. ]

Aren't you a little young for stakeouts and lex talionis? [ said with a slight smile, and then a quick: ] No offense.

As for Old Testament justice, I'd say it's a valid system. Unfortunately something called the legal system doesn't always agree.

Unfortunately. [ for them, but that sounds a little too Machiavellian to say out loud. so yep, that's it. that's her response. ]

What I lack in years, I make up for in experience. [ it's been a busy four years. ]

[ probably more amused by that response than a by the books cop should be, frankly. ] You were with the police back in... ?

[ he doubts she was actually a cop, given her age, so he's digging for the right answer just as much as he's asking after where she's from. ]

[ she almost pulls a disgusted face just thinking about working with Sheriff Lamb -- but she tempers it. ] FYI, I'm prepared for the judgment that will surely affect your chiseled features, so don't worry about offending me when I say -- [ a beat. ]

Not police. Private investigations in Neptune, California.

[ she's expecting him to side-eye the teen private eye thing (and possibly the Neptune thing). it's pretty ridiculous. ]

[ if he knew sheriff lamb, he'd agree completely. and okay, sure. teen private investigator from neptune?? california. there's an obvious delay while he does some tempering of his own to avoid the incredulous insult. ]

Really. [ super convincing. to his credit, the follow-up's more diplomatic, and he actually sounds like he means it. ] As much as it chagrins me to admit it, a private investigator might be useful here. I somehow doubt most cases are going to be a clean fit for standard police procedure.

[ so, he's more of a d'amato than a don. she can work with that. ]

Got my spy pen from a box of Fruit Loops and everything. [ then, after a beat. ] Thanks, Nick. [ but she doesn't need to be validated by you (even though it's nice shut up)!! ]

Actually, what's your official job description? [ should she be more formal? is he her boss? ]

Policeman. [ slightly wry. ] I was a homicide detective, back home. I'm still trying to figure out if being a registered "hero" makes up for the demotion.

Seeing as you chose to be a homicide detective and were forced to be a "hero," I'm gonna go with no, but the optimism and half-jokes are admirable.