002 ( text; )

[electroburst]

so, does everybody get dumbshit jobs assigned to them, or do these people just got something against me? i got about ten million things i've been good at doing since the dawn of forever and i can promise you they got nothing to do with birds.

resume available upon request.



[ and a couple minutes later, a Professional addition: ]

man, i'm bored. anyone wanna hook up?

Comments

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[thecacophony]

You've got a problem with birds? Shit, where I'm from, raising imperial warbirds was a high fucking honor.

[Granted, those "birds" were five hundred pounds of clawed, feathery death.]

[electroburst]

if they were "warbirds" that might be one thing. where i'm from, birds suck and are bad. like not even worth making into food bad.

[thecacophony]

Right. Well, what kind of work were you doing before this?

[restingstitchface]

One of the greatest tests of a man's character is to make him the target of a joke. I believe a resourceful man like you might work his way out of that appalling situation soon enough.

And for what it's worth, I'm no fan of birds either. Frightful little creatures, they are.

[electroburst]

oh, i'm the target of a joke all the time! it's just been awhile since my career was one. finding it pretty hard to laugh at that one.

yeah birds are horrible. you ever see one about seven feet tall that run like fuck and go after anyone who looks at em funny? nightmare inducing.

[restingstitchface]

Can't say I have, though I've encountered a six foot man who believes himself a bat. Gave me quite a few nightmares, I assure you!

[Is he joking? Yes. No. Maybe not, maybe so.]

[helpdesk_hero]

I definitely moved away from the tutoring people in math. But it does seem like they have terrible choices most of the time.

[electroburst]

ugh, math?? that's almost the worst shit i've ever heard. almost.

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh, you've heard worse?

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[detectivedwloki]

I got assigned a job seemingly based on a joke because of my name.

You can quit whatever they gave you and find your own work. That's what I did.

[Eventually.]

[electroburst]

so they really do got smartasses working in the jobs department. guess i shouldn't be surprised.

i did quit, if you consider not ever showing up even once as quitting.

[detectivedwloki]

Yeah, they gave me a locksmith job at a place called the Low-Key Locksmith. My last name is Loki.

I'm a detective. Ten years with the police. I'm not a locksmith. But I stuck with it for a while since the police here don't like to recruit imPorts.

It didn't stop me from doing my own patrols. Now I've started my own investigative agency.

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[threeisapattern]

it's pretty hit or miss tbh

[electroburst]

so what was yours, a hit or a miss?

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[a_gaggle_of_ghosties]

Pop-up halloween costume clerk.

I'm sure the person responsible found it absolutely hilarious. If I ever discover who, they won't for long.

[electroburst]

hahaha. damn. i can guarantee whoever it is will never show their face. there's a long line of people who want to take them out for this i'm sure.

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[photografist]

It's just you.

[electroburst]

i knew it. everybody's always out to get me. total conspiracy.

[photografist]

What'd you do to piss them off?

[killtime]

birds huh

[electroburst]

yeah chickens apparently. baby chocobos or whatever. not my thing. fuck birds.

[softheartedshizun]

I was given a rather enjoyable job that fits my interests, so I can't complain about their choices.

[electroburst]

yeah? and are you good at it?

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[pullsheavendown]

You get to take care of birds for your job? That sounds fun.

[electroburst]

oh, yeah. take care of them in the most decisive of ways.
the way where i'm supposed to cut them up that is.