oh look, it's the Hareblazer; ota

[constantdick]

[Hello network, there appears to be a talking blond bunny on the screen... which sounds exactly like John Constantine. Looks a bit like him too, given the tie and the cigarette dangling from his lips.]

What the bloody hell, Zee? This is definitely not funny a second time.

[Not that it was too funny the first time either. But wait, didn't Zatanna Zatara port out a while ago? Maybe she's back, he doesn't know. Bollocks.]

Comments

[recommendations]

[ There is a cute young girl on the video, who appears at first enamored by the talking bunny! But then she regains her senses and comments more productively. ]

Are you not normally like this, Rabbit-san?

[constantdick]

[He is unmoved by her cuteness.]

Know a lot of talking rabbits, do yeh?

[Which means 'no' if one speaks arsehole.]

[recommendations]

[ Thankfully, Momo is not fluent in arsehole at all. ]

No, but I know people who look like animals. They're actually rather common where I come from. Though, no one so small.

[constantdick]

Who're yeh calling small?

[Don't mind him, he's just grumpy about being smaller than a six-year-old.]

[recommendations]

Ahh... Sorry, Rabbit-san! I didn't mean anything mean by it!

[ But just face it. He's bitty. ]

[constantdick]

Yeah yeah, alright. Time for a drink. S'cuse me while I gnaw off the top of this bottle.

video;

[bifroster]

[Jane is looking at this rabbit with a very confused face.]

Please tell me you don't know an Alice.

[Because that would be too much. Never mind that she might have been kidnapped, everyone around her has powers, and her parents aren't here. Talking rabbits is where she draws the lines.]

[constantdick]

[well now, that kid might look slightly familiar?]

Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not the White Rabbit.

[bifroster]

[Sorry, she doesn't recognize you.]

No. That's fine. I didn't want you to be the White Rabbit.

[constantdick]

Glad we got that cleared up, then.

And who might you be?

[bifroster]

My name is Jane Foster. And you are ...?

[constantdick]

[Bloody hell, a de-aging spell as well? Alright, he's doubting this is Zatanna's work now.]

Just call me John, luv.

So, you feel like you fell down a rabbit 'ole, do yeh?

[xue_yang]

[Lucky for him right now he only has fox ears and 9 tails. Looks like it could be much worse.]

Judging by your tone, I'm guessing you aren't normally furry with long ears.

[constantdick]

Not normally, no. Which is not to say it 'asn't 'appened. I'm getting the feeling though, that this might be a different thing. [Considering the fox ears etc.]

[xue_yang]

No one warned me that I might grow extra body parts. I suppose I'll need to be better prepared for the future.

[constantdick]

Which is to say, that's something I've personally experienced in the past, I dunno 'ow common it is 'ere.

[xue_yang]

How long have you been here?

[constantdick]

Eh, about ten months, give or take.

[hisfavoriteson]

[There appears to be nothing wrong with him. He seems to have been passed over by whatever this is. He wasn't, which he'll soon discover.]

Is there something you haven't been telling us? I mean, who am I to judge someone for their lifestyle choices, but there are some things even I think are weird.

[constantdick]

[Can a rabbit look peevish? This one does.]

Kink-shaming furries are yeh now, Lucy? And 'ere I would've thought you'd be the first one to 'ave a rodent fetish.

[thecacophony]

Well, I'll be fucking damned. Someone really stepped on the wrong side of magic this morning, huh?

[Pretty smug, considering her own recent predicament. Woof!]

Who's Zee?

[constantdick]

Wouldn't be the first time. Magical mayhem being my sort of normal.

Zatanna Zatara, an ex of mine. Thought she ported out a while ago though.

[thecacophony]

Shit, there's nothing worse than an angry woman with an axe to grind. You, uh, gonna be alright like that on your own?

This shape-changing magic seems to reverse itself after a while, but...

[It would be bad to see a little bunny mage kick the bucket, after all.]

[constantdick]

You might say I'm used to it.

[The streets back home being littered with Constantine's angry exes.]

What's causing it, any idea?

[thecacophony]

My memory's a little hazy, but I remember some woman trying to talk to me when I was in your predicament. Said something about a wooden staff. Splinters?

Not that I gave a shit at the time, but what does that ex of yours look like? Red hair, pointy ears, something like that?