video.

[goldtoxicity]

Sooooo...

Here's a question. What's the weirdest thing one of your fans has ever done? Or, like, the weirdest piece of content you've ever found?

Because I just found there are bwitter accounts dedicated to trying to prove I'm not actually dating my girlfriend? I thought it was a joke but they're in like, a flame war with someone whose really into it... Like, I know I shouldn't be reading it, but I just can't look away.

[ oh, right, wait, also need to be responsible. ]

Oh, right, almost forgot. Hi, I'm Josh Foley. I work at De Chima General. If you've got weird medical needs or something you need fixed, I'm your dude.

Comments

Audio - UN: Prodigy

[helpdesk_hero]

I want to hit them on Laurie's behalf.

But right now? I'm getting so much 'fanart' of me touching objects to... unlikely parts of my skin to get readings.

[goldtoxicity]

[ oh no you said the thing. he can't help but start to laugh, clapping a hand over his mouth to try to stop it. ]

I saw the one with the antique chaise lounge this morning.

[bodilesswarrior]

...Why would you be faking? Do they think you're dating other people in secret?

Oh God, I wonder who they think I'm dating. I definitely shouldn't look.

[ She is going to look. ]

[Encrypted to Josh]

Also, um...how weird are we talking.

[goldtoxicity]

You definitely shouldn't look.

[ but also who can resist looking. ]

encrypted

Um... pretty weird. I can control biological material on a genetic level, so like, anything with that? Uhh... Magic and some stuff is outta my skillset if its pure magic and its not like... biological. If that makes sense.

audio;

[dragony]

I had a girl smuggle my work out of a gallery by pretending to be me. I mean, she was caught later, and we got it all back, at least, but the whole thing was weird.

Other than that... well, a lot of them think I'm the became-human-on-arrival type. So. There's that. And I'm certain they don't think I'm actually with my fiance, too.

Wish fulfillment is weird.

audio;

[goldtoxicity]

Seriously? [ that's... such a weird thing to just assume. ] What did they think you were before? And, wait, stole your stuff by pretending to be you? That's crazy!

video;

[redcosmedic]

I keep getting requests to allow people wash me while in vehicle mode.

In costume. Or in various states of undress.

Frankly I'm running out of tactful ways to tell them it really doesn't do anything for me.

video;

[goldtoxicity]

Uhh...

[ that's sure a kink he didn't know people had but he does now. ]

At that point I'd just tell them to fuck off, but like, that's just me.

text; un: Julian Delphiki | Bean

[justlittle]

[ Thankfully, Bean is back to his correct age by now. He really didn't appreciate that reminder of what's in store for him if he doesn't fix his genetic alteration. ]

There's a whole hashtag of suburban moms wanting to adopt me.

[ PRIVATE, ENCRYPTED: ]

I think it's time i took you up on that genetic rewrite offer.

[goldtoxicity]

Dude, think about all the birthdays and christmases you could have. I mean, it'd be cool if they probably weren't insane, but... y'know.

private.

[ oh, he remembers this conversation. ]

I... don't wanna get your hopes too high up. I really have to see what we're working with. But I'm down to try if you are.

video;

[pullsheavendown]

Why do they care who you're dating?

video;

[goldtoxicity]

Right? I dunno - they're just really invested!

Audio - UN: The Syren

[of_the_skies]

I've only been here a scant few days, but there's a man on Bwitter who keeps bweeting that he wants me to 'step on' him. I haven't the faintest clue what that even means. Regardless, I'm sorry to hear that people here are speculating on your romantic life in such an obnoxiously fact-free way.

[goldtoxicity]

Ohhhhhh you probably don't want to google that.

[ sorry, newbie. ]

My fault. I roped us into a reality tv show, so like, this is just what I get I guess.

video;

[fridgeflower]

Wow. That's rude.

Like, what's the point? Are they, like, desiring your single-hood? Do they think it's a front for something else? Are there different factions?

Because I can see this possibly splitting a few different ways.

video;

[goldtoxicity]

Different factions having, like, big ship wars? Like a bunch think David and I are secretly in love? And they super don't like us dating. And then there are others that say I'm not good enough for either of you and I should die alone.

Video

[t0uchy]

Somebody started a PlzFundMe page to get me a dinosaur because I said I wanted one. I guess that's weird, but I think they meant it nicely? [He is smol, his grasp on the internet and the idea of fans isn't the best yet.] I'm gonna name the dinosaur Clawdio al-Jameel if I get him. It's a good name.

Can you make my powers stop going off when I touch people? [Does that count as a medical need?]

Re: Video

[goldtoxicity]

A dinosaur seems like a really big responsibility.

[ pls small child... don't get a pet that can eat you. he's seen some shit. ]

Um... Maybe? It depends on, uh, the hows and whys. My friend might be able to help you.

Permavid

[governorkang]

I purposely avoid fan spaces to not find any of that out.

[goldtoxicity]

Honestly? Probably the best idea. I'm just, like, morbidly curious.

video

[khajidont]

Oh god, those. Try not to take it too personally. People had all kinds of crap to say about me and Ruka. Apparently we make no sense as a pair. Not all the fans are that bad, though.

video

[goldtoxicity]

I'm not! I mean, not really, I just find it really werd!Haven't you guys known each other for like, ever, though?

( text )

[optikon]

Define "weird medical needs."

video.

[goldtoxicity]

I'm biokinetic, so like, anything biological and medical junk is kinda my playground.

voice

[runningstart]

Are you dating your girlfriend though?

[goldtoxicity]

Yeah. I mean, at least until she figures out she's too good for me!

Voice

[walkontwolegs]

How do you find out what your fans are saying about you?

[ That is a literal child's voice. Sorry, dude. You're getting a lot of kids in here today. ]

Voice

[goldtoxicity]

[ YOU DONT SOUND OLD ENOUGH FOR TWITTER YOUNG LADY ]

It's probably better if you, uh... don't.

Voice

[by_candlelight]

Mine got me killed, does that count?

Last I heard they were having wars over if my boyfriend and I deserve one another, and whether or not we're secretly dating some other people at the same time.

Voice

[goldtoxicity]

[ oh, shit. yeah. ]

I'm sorry. That pisses me off... if they give you a hard time again, give me a call or something.

[ i mean, don't, because he might murder them. ]

Video

[drivesadesk]

I mean, there's definitely a lot of porn fanfic of me. And when I first started dating Finn, there were some fans that were happy about it, but some that kept insisting I should be dating whoever they shipped me with.

And I caught some people taking a picture of me through a window on my boat when it was docked.

Video

[goldtoxicity]

[ fanfic.

remember that his good buddy jonathan has two dongs. ]

Yeah, man, the fanfic is just weird. Like sometimes it's funny? But like, wow.

[Audio]

[topmeup]

The fancomics of Lesi being away on business and me having affairs with various imPorts and TV characters was definitely something. I had never saw myself as the lonely, horny housewife.

[Audio]

[goldtoxicity]

Hold on, hold on - fan comics?

video

[am_i_a_monster]

The weirdest thing I ever found was a guy selling ear keychains that he named after me. A keychain with a plastic ear attached...'cause I only have one ear.

[She looks away for a moment and then looks back at him.]

Some fans are crazy.

Re: video

[goldtoxicity]

[ what the fuck. ]

Oh, that's just messed up. The - the fan thing, not the one ear thing. [ but that could also potentially be messed up?? he doesn't have the greatest tact. ]