maskormenace | video | content warnings for the devil being the devil

video | content warnings for the devil being the devil

[Did you know you had a Civil War Museum, residents of Heropa? If you didn't, be sure to pay attention to what you can see in the background of this man's video. It's a wonderful museum, well organized and very educational.

The man in the video is dressed unassumingly in overalls. He's shutting a door behind him and locking it- obviously he thinks closing time is the best time to greet the rest of the network.
Well, it takes all kinds, doesn't it? His voice is calm and there's almost a neighborly tone to it.]

Hi- I'm, uh. I'm only new here so maybe there's a memo I missed or something, but I was wondering about what exactly we're supposed to be doing here. I'm a fairly simple kind of a guy- I like to call things how I see them. Call a pitchfork a pitchfork, you get the picture.

Now, I'm under the impression that I've been kidnapped and brought to Florida against my will. Not only that- but I've been branded like a piece of cattle. Yet some of you seem to be suggesting I've been done a favor of some kind.

[A pause as he locks the front doors of the museum behind him, checks they're securely shut, and moves away from the building. His tone begins shifts away from good-natured.]

That's a little rude, don't you think? Bringing us all here without any consultation and then asking us to thank them for it? That's fairly arrogant of them, right?

[Wait- was that a scream in the background?]

Now, I don't know you and you don't know me- but I'm sure there's a better way to resolve our differences than having all of us lying down in the dirt and letting them piss all over us.

[As he moves away from the building those of you who were admiring the fine architecture will notice that there are flames coming out of the windows. And yes- those are definitely screams you can hear now.

Lucifer is looking frankly into the camera once more.]

Just my take on things.

[The feed ends.

ooc: this is why you don't give lucifer a job as assistant curator at the local civil war memorial.

heroes- the poor people trapped inside the museum need your help! Lucifer won't be sticking around to deal with the fallout but please go ahead and threadjack to organise/actionspam rescues on this post!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No conditions is dependent upon how much of you I get.

Take it or leave it.

[Can't you just see the headline of your new book, Chilton? The Devil and I]

[His shoulders seize up.]

All right, -- wait, just -- when can I see you?

[There's a slight panic in his voice, a fear of losing this.]

[Lucifer until now has kept a more or less disspassionate face on. At Chilton's all right his face eases into a slow smile.]

Don't worry, Frederik Chilton- Chief of Staff. I'm possibly the only angel you will ever meet who will not default on the promises I make. You have two weeks to decide on your three questions.

And what, I wonder, will you be doing in the meanwhile?

Not giving you a second thought.

[He holds a moment, before responding.]

You're going to need someone's help, someone on your side. When push comes to shove. I can be that person.

If push comes to shove, anyone who resists me will be dead.

[So, uh. Thanks, but no thanks.]

How often have you murdered, before?

[There's the matter of sorting between what's delusional and what might be factual.]

Is this one of your three questions, doctor?

[Also, do people count?]

No.

[He nearly bites his tongue -- the body part that he represents in his canon, no less -- in response.]

I want my questions to be asked in a particular setting. In my office, on the record.

I have murdered only once.

That's fairly... Admirable restraint, considering. [Given this little exercise -- then again, this individual's dissent appeared to be solely reactive to coming here. Violence responses to trauma, as Chilton figured.]

So your victims here must be fine. Relatively.

Considering I have only three brothers, I agree. I think I'm doing well.

[Oh wait are you including people.]

[WOW LUCIFER.]

Family tension is not an unfamiliar motivation.

[Hey, his favorite patient ever had the same deal, but with in-laws.]

You might even find someone sympathetic.

[Ahahahahaaaaa no, Chilton. You keep that sympathy away from Lucifer.]

Why? Having thoughts of fratricide yourself?

I was born an only child. [Light shrug. It's remarkable, that he's said even this much -- Chilton was a man who was always more secretive about his own factual evidence.

He didn't think he should be subject to psychoanalysis.]

[You're missing out. Brothers are the best.]

If you did want someone killed, I suppose I could make another arrangement with you.

Do I seem like the type who wants people dead?

[Lucifer's expression reads: Yes. Yes, you do.]

I am not homicidal.

[That's his defense.]

I prefer the label 'human.'

[All humans would kill each other, under the right circumstances.]

I don't find that very insulting. So I suppose it will do.

How about you, doctor? Have you ever been the cause of someone's death?

I -- [He glances off screen for the moment, his expression torn between shock and affront. Of course he had, however indirectly. Chilton would never murder with his own hands, after all.]

I've been accused.

[The words simmer on his tongue; superficially, he owed this man nothing. But Lucifer, after this display, wouldn't (surely couldn't) be take at face value any longer. And honesty fostered trust.]

I've been accused of it.

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