002 | video (morning 8/25)

[leonized]

[Leon hasn't posted to the network in quite a while, mostly because he's had no reason to. But he does, today, sort of...]

Uh, I just got a "Party Pack" from my work, and I'm not really sure what to do with it... the label on it says it has balloons, a table clothe, place settings, a coupon for cake... and some other stuff too, I think.

Anyways, I was wondering if anyone wanted it? I don't really get why they sent it to me–

[He pauses, just for a moment, as if remembering something.]

I think it's my birthday?

video;

[shutterbugged]

C’mon, Peter. There are no take-backsies when it comes to Boogie Boogie Battlefield.

[The camera tips and wobbles slightly before focusing on the face of one Peter Parker. He looks fairly put upon, and the ribbing from behind the camera probably isn’t helping. The view tilts to one side as the cameraperson decides to take a more artistic stance.]

I can’t believe you said “take-backsies” with a straight face. Or “Boogie Boogie Battlefield.” What are you doing with your phone?

There needs to be video evidence. Just follow the script.

No, I mean--in portrait mode?

[With one last thwarted-videographer sigh, Peter brandishes an ink-covered napkin in his hand, takes a breath to speak, then cuts himself off.]

Do I really have to--

Absolutely yes. Think of the children. And portrait looks great, shh.

[Peter rolls his eyes to the ceiling, sighs, holds up the napkin, and in a long-suffering monotone reads:]

“I, Peter Benjamin Parker, do hereby declare on this date of August 25th, 2016, that Cindy Moon is the greatest Boogie Boogie Battlefield player--”

[He has to fight off a smile before continuing. It’s possible he’s not quite as put out by all this production as he’s acting.]

“--of all time, in this universe or any other where the game exists. She has crushed her enemies, seen them driven before her, and heard the lamentations of their friends, families, and significant others, of whatever gender identification or sexual orientation--”

Stick to the script, Parker! Though I appreciate your inclusivity. That should be enough anyways.

Fine, great. [He holds out his hand palm-up and waggles it.] Now give me my wallet back, you blackmailer.

[Okay, no, still a bit put out.]

ᚪ • video

[mischiefsmith]

[Behold, Loki, hunched over a desk looking uncharacteristically introspective while performing dexterous feats of incredible skill with an inking pen. The mellifluous tones of Daft Punk can be heard coming from somewhere in the background as he opts to ignore the video for a moment more in favor of his deep contemplation.

And once the moment has passed, he stops with the finger tricks and fixes his gaze directly on the camera.]

Contrary to my usual M.O. I may require some help with a pressing quandary. Set-backs are usually temporary for me, granted some set-backs are walls while others are hurdles, but this one has me boxed. A boxed Loki never bodes well…oh, if I didn’t introduce myself last time? [Because there was another him, was there not? He looks vaguely sour for a moment.] Loki Laufeyson, though I’m under the impression that some of you have already met me before.

[For what it’s worth he’ll do a flourishing bow for the sake of theatrics.]

Back to the dilemma at hand. Your help will require the ability to tap into a time when you were below the legal age of majority. Your inner child. Sadly, my inner child and I had a disagreement, we're no longer speaking. [siiiiiigh] If you can get in touch with yours, or if you’ve never been one, but you possess a vivid imagination and are able to relate, or if you are, in fact, a child then here’s your mission--

[He’s getting to his point, patience is, after all a virtue. The question you should really be asking yourself is “what is Loki’s newfound preoccupation with the inner child?” Is he having a Freudian moment?]

Our exercise is this. I’m going to show you three pictures, yes the pictures have words, just ignore the words. I want to know, from the perspective of children, which picture would they most identify with and why.

[He’ll hold up picture number one. Take a minute to process that.

Picture number two.

And finally number three.]

Just in case you’re curious, this is the Yggdrasil, the World Tree of Norse mythology, and these are the nine realms that are presented. There were ten, but a war happened, a baby was involved, Odin flipped his Skittles, and he disowned Heven completely. Cut it clean from the rest of the realms!

Thoughts? Feelings? Expressions of outrage?