four { video } hypnotizability

[lurings]

[ abigail is at the bait shop, sitting behind the counter. beside her is a rack of fish themed valentine's and little pink stuffed fish. ]

I was unaware there were so many fish puns that related to Valentine's Day. So... Hook, Line and Tinker is having a sale. By sale... I mean sale. Everything must go. Please take these off my hands. This was a horrible mistake and I regret my life choices.

[ /stares at camera like jim halpert. boy, does she ever. she will probably give them away free if you buy a pack of gum. how are she and will in business still? well, she's actually a really good saleswoman when it comes down to it.

just not right now. when cutesy fish are making cutesy faces at her. ]

Unrelated to flirty flounders, someone asked me about... well, basically about this place and I realized I've been kind of willingly ignorant to anything that's going on around me. I've read the FAQ, but is there anything else I should know?

[ you'd think after three months in a basement she would want to know more, but nope. at least she does now. only took six months. shut up, she's dead. she had to deal with that for a while. ]

Also, small show of hands -- I hope it's small -- who else is dead in their worlds?

[ so casual. she gives the camera a brief, wry smile and cuts out. ]

Comments

[humanistic]

[Well, that's humanity, he thinks, but does not say. Instead, he makes a sound of faint-yet-neutral interest, like an oh, really.]

It's kind of distracting. Especially the way you said it--sort of gets attention.

[Another beat.]

Ever heard of a doughsant? [which sounds extra weird with his accent just go with it]

[lurings]

Is it like a do....nut?

[ that is not a word, sir. ]

[humanistic]

A doughnut, and a croissant. They're sometimes called cronuts. Glazed and sometimes they put icing on 'em too. Disgusting and yet also delicious.

[also totally a word]

And they haven't added them to the FAQ just yet, but that's... probably the best extra piece of information that I know. Which, I don't know if that reflects on me, or on this place.

[lurings]

[ there is a protracted silence. the brief sound of the cash register opening, change shifting around. her hand curls over the speaker, but the muffled yell of "I'll be right back! Do you want a gross donut thing?" can still be heard before she comes back on the line. ]

Where do they sell these things?

[humanistic]

[gross donut thing thanks]

There's a shop on the boardwalk, in Heropa. They do the best ones. It's like-- four or five down from the stand shaped like a giant banana. You can't miss it.

[lurings]

Giant banana stand? Okay. Do you want one?

[humanistic]

Like right now?

[lurings]

Yes. [ the bell on the door jingles as she heads outside. ] Since I'm going there right now.

[humanistic]

Oh. Well--you don't have to pay for mine.

[er--]

Weren't you just at work?

[lurings]

I'm on break. [ she seems so unperturbed. ] I'm the owner, I can do that.

[humanistic]

You own a bait shop.

[mildly sceptical... but in a friendly sort of way.]

[lurings]

Yes. [ THOROUGHLY AFFRONTED. ] Well. Co-own.

[humanistic]

Oh, co-own...

[Like yes, of course, now this all makes sense.]

How'd you come to co-own a bait shop? Someone left it to you in a will?

[lurings]

It was my Christmas present from Will. [ sort of? it was the holiday season. ] I do the books better than him anyway.

[humanistic]

Wow, that-- might just be the most practical gift I've ever heard. For both of you. Most people just give gift cards when they can't think of anything, y'know.

And thanks, for not struggling t' make any of the obvious puns there. [left to you in a will, given to you by a Will....]

[lurings]

I work with Will everyday. I have heard every pun on his name. Probably twice. Once in Finnish.

[ well, maybe. ]

[humanistic]

Do the puns even work, in Finnish?

[lurings]

About as well as your karaoke, probably.

[ she will never forget, tbh. it's going to happen. she will make it happen. ]

[humanistic]

[goddammit.]

You still remember that, huh.

[in the same tone of voice someone might say please kill me now]

[lurings]

I have a very good memory.

[ never gonna give u up. ]

[humanistic]

Yeah. And I don't suppose there's anything that could convince you to forget? Say, if I bought your doughsant for you?

[quickly, before he can be accused of being cheap, or undervaluing her--]

The first of many.

[lurings]

No. [ there's laughter in her tone, as blunt as she is. ] I would say yes and lull you into a false sense of security, but that would be unkind.

[humanistic]

Yeah, that would be unkind. The bit about forcing a man to do karaoke, that wouldn't be unkind at all.

[He's bitching a lot, but it's like friendly bitching, and very weak friendly bitching at that. Won't last long.]

I'm taking you up on that doughsant, then. Yes, I do want you to buy one for me.

[lurings]

Okay.

[ it's pretty easy to hear that she is smiling. she just aggressively guilted someone into $300 for charity, she's going to get a gross baked good!, later she is going to rent a stupid movie for her and chilton to watch, and she's so going to make mitchell do karaoke. ]

You realize I could have done this on video and you'd have to see me, right? I'm really being nice to you right now.

[ she could be pouting. she knows it works. a++ making friends, threatening to pout at them. ]

[humanistic]

[it's like the plots of a criminal mastermind in the making tbh and the worst part is... she's really effective.

karaoke. Jesus.]

Yeah, I totally owe you. If you were on video, I wouldn't have been able to demand my baked good out of you. At least this way, I get something out of it.

You're really unfair, you know that? I bet this how you got half of that bait shop of yours. Not a Christmas gift at all.