video; [3/15, TW for murder most foul]

[wizzardly]

[Happy Ides, everyone. To celebrate, here's a pale, shaken wizzard on your screen, standing in some nondescript Maurtia Falls allet. If the pallor of his skin makes him look a person who may be ill, that's probably because he is. Or at least was. Barely thirty seconds ago, violently, behind a trash can.]

Once, just once I'd like to go a month without - without the streets flooding with ghosts, or being in ridiculous brawls in bars with bears, or being kidnapped, or - or -

[Rincewind breaks off with a pained, miserable expression, glancing back over his shoulder. As he does so, the video shifts enough to show a dumpster with its lid open, a bag of trash abandoned outside it. The angle makes it impossible to see inside.]

...There's a body in there. Two, er, halves of one. Someone's, um...

[Rincewind swallows thickly, fighting another wave of nausea.]

I don't think she's an imPort. ...Was. Gods.

Look - someone come deal with this, will you? That's what you heroes are meant to do, right? So one of you needs to bloody well get out here. I'm not - I can't - this isn't my responsibility.

Video | 001

[pidgewidgeon]

[ The video clicks on to show Pidge wandering through Heropa. She's meandering through the crowds and down random streets, and would look like any other teen if not for the green lioness at her side. ]

So... this is all strange. One moment I'm being threatened by a giant warship, the next I'm in a weird underground bunker and have a glowy tattoo on my arm and sudden super powers? Which is cool, don't get me wrong, but I sorta already have a universe to save. The Galra threat isn't just going to go away because I was kidnapped.

[Pidge pauses while she maneuvers around a crowd. ]

Wait, is that why I'm here? Am I supposed to save this world... universe... whatever? The soldier guard dude who gave me all my stuff didn't really explain much. Just kinda dropped me off in an apartment and left.[ Rude. ]

I'm Pidge by the way. [ She directs a grin towards her communicator. ] And I'd really appreciate more information.

Video

[dumbfound]

[ Who remembers that llama from about a week ago? Well guess what? It's back on camera now! How... exciting?

It's still in the same bedroom, which seems suspiciously like a place a llama doesn't belong, but this time it's on the bed, and seems pretty comfortable.

A voice cuts in, but the camera stays on the llama. ]

None of the farms knew who he belonged to, but he likes me, so I am going to keep him.

[ A pause. ]

His name is Fluffy?

[ He doesn't sound as sure about that, but that's what he was told to name the llama, and who is he to go against that? ]