maskormenace | 006 ♍ voice

[ kanaya knows she has to make this confession, not that she's particularly looking forward to it. but now that they've put her in solitary, nothing about this punishment has been satisfying. she needs something better.

everyone needs to know, but she doesn't want their pity, and doesn't deserve their sympathy. so. she kind of goes a little too far in the other direction, there. ]

I've been quiet the past few days. I say this not as an apology, because I don't particularly give a shit, but as an explanation. For those who don't know me, my name is Kanaya Maryam, an for the past few months I've been moonlighting as a costumed thug. One might even go so far as to say I was a supervillain.

Shocking, isn't it? I was a bit surprised, myself. [ not that she's going to explain that one. ]

As Hobgoblin, I committed numerous crimes, whether disrupting traffic, harassing the costumed set, playing ghost in a haunted house, other, more serious infractions. Kidnapping. Stalking. And...worse than that. [ her flippant tone cracks, her voice falling low and shaky. ] I've-- I've hurt people. People who didn't deserve it. Innocents.

[ there's a fury brimming in that last word, a self-loathing and shame. she can feel her hands shaking, her knuckles going white as she balls her fists. but they won't see that, it's important that they don't. if they recognize any remorse, it will defeat the whole purpose.

she takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she collects herself again. ]

For all of these things, the most the local authorities have seen fit to do is stick me in a room alone without my powers. Which is really great, I must say. Wonderful to know that we feed and house our criminals when law-abiding residents have no such amenities, especially when they aren't registered! I must say this world's punitive measures are deeply impressive, it truly overwhelms me with compunction, how much softer-handed it is than I expected when I turned myself in. I suppose I shouldn't be really surprised, when the approach to everything is such a joke, such a limp attitude toward justice is at least consistent.

But it isn't real justice. It's a mockery. [ she thinks of terezi, and wonders if she'd be more embarrassed by the meagerness of it, or that kanaya submitted herself willingly. terezi would know what to do here. ]

I'm sure many of you could do better, someone who really believes in the subject, unless you're too stuck in all the nonsense moralizing humans too often preoccupy themselves with. You're heroes. I'm a villain. That seems simple enough to me.

If you want to see real justice done, I'm not going anywhere.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Or it could be someone who wants to have the worse choices purged out.

Most people would consider themselves lucky that they have gotten off easy. Maybe try to lie low to avoid reminding whoever is in charge of their punishment that they exist.

Unless, of course, they felt guilty. So guilty they thought they deserved that punishment.

It isn't about guilt, it's about principle. Humans never seem to understand that.

[ yeah, it's definitely it. all about principle. ]

I thought it was about getting the punishment out of the way as soon as possible. And if it's about the principle why not give yourself away sooner? Why let it get this far? You knew it was going to get worse as time went by.

I know you're smarter than that.

The principle didn't apply then. You don't go hunting for the fallout of a defeat prior to being defeated. Things have to be in their proper order.

It isn't that it needs to be as soon as possible, either. It's ensuring it will be happening at all, I don't know whether I can count on that with what they've been showing me so far.

Hm.

If I'm allowed to be honest with you, I think you're trying to get our attention away from something. So you can get all the punishment yourself instead of someone else. I'd say it's guilt, as well... but I don't know you well enough to make that kind of guesses. I just think there's something else to this.

[He doesn't get the feeling she's lying, but he doesn't think she's being fully honest either.]

So, what then, would you like the names of all my victims to corroborate my testimony? Would it be better that their names were dragged out in public rather than mine, theirs lives disrupted any more than they have been already?

The police already know who they are. I don't need to tell the rest of you.

[ which indicates something she might be drawing attention from, but does nothing to make seem less like she's wallowing in guilt. she hates the idea that taking on the guilt directs it away from osborn, but she already failed to kill him. if she couldn't take him down, she doesn't get the privilege of blaming him. ]

And I'm not asking you to. [Especially not when Freddie is around and ready to jump into any kind of information like that, he's pretty sure.]

It's the police's job to decide if you're guilty or not, though I don't think you're lying about that. I'm not even asking you to share anything with me, in particular, or with all of us in general.

But do you have someone to talk to, someone to be fully honest with?

[ she's locked from private messages, they don't allow her visitors while she's in solitary confinement. no one's getting the real truth from her voluntarily. ]

You say that as if I'm being especially dishonest now.

[ probably because she is... ]

Well, when the facts do not fit together you have to assume something's wrong. So while I don't know if you're lying or not I do think you're purposely wording things in a particular way to make us react like you want us to.

And a great lot of good that's done me, hasn't it? If I am being dishonest, have I really gained anything for it?

[ is she really use how unconvincing she's been as a point in trying to convince someone? ]

That's kind of a fallacy, isn't it? You can't use the fact that it didn't work to imply you weren't actually trying. Maybe you just miscalculated our reaction. People seem to hold you in high regard.

I can't imagine why. All I've done for many of them is sneer and tell them how poorly they interpret easy to locate information.

[ it's pretty vexing. ]

Not understanding the why doesn't make the fact that they trust and like you any less true.

The truth of it is the problem. It shouldn't be true, and is only a mistake on their parts.

So you keep saying.

I believe in justice, Kanaya, as laughable as that seems to most people. So if you're innocent, I'll find a way to prove it.

I'm not innocent, Mr. Kent. That isn't even a possibility you should be entertaining.

Then you have nothing to worry about, do you?

And yet, it does leave me to wonder why you would waste your time.

I wouldn't be an investigative journalist if I weren't at least a bit curious. Not to mention you have been nothing but helpful and kind to me.

I've never been kind, Mr. Kent. Only truthful.

Whatever perceived kindness was in that is only incidental.

[here's a pause on his end as he opens his mouth, then thinks better of it and shakes his head. He isn't going to get into a moral debate with her, that's really not the point of this.]

If you say so. Take care, Kanaya.

You do the same, Mr. Kent. I'd say the odds are more in your favor.

006 ♍ voice

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;