glowsferatu: rude, sad (Is It Wrong Not To Always Be Glad)
ᴘsychopomp 💀 ([personal profile] glowsferatu) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2015-01-19 03:03 pm

006 ♍ voice

[ kanaya knows she has to make this confession, not that she's particularly looking forward to it. but now that they've put her in solitary, nothing about this punishment has been satisfying. she needs something better.

everyone needs to know, but she doesn't want their pity, and doesn't deserve their sympathy. so. she kind of goes a little too far in the other direction, there.
]

I've been quiet the past few days. I say this not as an apology, because I don't particularly give a shit, but as an explanation. For those who don't know me, my name is Kanaya Maryam, an for the past few months I've been moonlighting as a costumed thug. One might even go so far as to say I was a supervillain.

Shocking, isn't it? I was a bit surprised, myself. [ not that she's going to explain that one. ]

As Hobgoblin, I committed numerous crimes, whether disrupting traffic, harassing the costumed set, playing ghost in a haunted house, other, more serious infractions. Kidnapping. Stalking. And...worse than that. [ her flippant tone cracks, her voice falling low and shaky. ] I've-- I've hurt people. People who didn't deserve it. Innocents.

[ there's a fury brimming in that last word, a self-loathing and shame. she can feel her hands shaking, her knuckles going white as she balls her fists. but they won't see that, it's important that they don't. if they recognize any remorse, it will defeat the whole purpose.

she takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she collects herself again.
]

For all of these things, the most the local authorities have seen fit to do is stick me in a room alone without my powers. Which is really great, I must say. Wonderful to know that we feed and house our criminals when law-abiding residents have no such amenities, especially when they aren't registered! I must say this world's punitive measures are deeply impressive, it truly overwhelms me with compunction, how much softer-handed it is than I expected when I turned myself in. I suppose I shouldn't be really surprised, when the approach to everything is such a joke, such a limp attitude toward justice is at least consistent.

But it isn't real justice. It's a mockery. [ she thinks of terezi, and wonders if she'd be more embarrassed by the meagerness of it, or that kanaya submitted herself willingly. terezi would know what to do here. ]

I'm sure many of you could do better, someone who really believes in the subject, unless you're too stuck in all the nonsense moralizing humans too often preoccupy themselves with. You're heroes. I'm a villain. That seems simple enough to me.

If you want to see real justice done, I'm not going anywhere.
selfequipped: (does noh-varr think he can dance??)

[personal profile] selfequipped 2015-02-01 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
I can think of a lot of people who would only be doing this to convince someone that they were really better when they weren't.

Their "regret" is a lot faker.
selfequipped: (this is the unsure sunglasses)

[personal profile] selfequipped 2015-02-03 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
No, but it could definitely be the road to it.
selfequipped: (why are you shirtless?)

[personal profile] selfequipped 2015-02-03 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I'm kind of leaning on "unreliable narrator" with you.
selfequipped: (billy kaplan needs to be protected.)

[personal profile] selfequipped 2015-02-04 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Believe it or not, there is no such thing as an "unreliable audience." I know, shocking, even when it's me.
selfequipped: (why are boys boys.)

[personal profile] selfequipped 2015-02-05 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't spend that much time doing it, no. [Kate barely understands fanfic.]

But you're calling people who are your friends unreliable, too. Interesting.
selfequipped: (protect him from gillen at all costs!)

[personal profile] selfequipped 2015-02-06 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
You're impossible, you know that?
selfequipped: (why do you have six horns?)

[personal profile] selfequipped 2015-02-07 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Which would also be why I don't believe any of this.

But hey, have at it. I really can't find a way to get you to cut it out.
selfequipped: (why are boys boys.)

[personal profile] selfequipped 2015-02-08 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
This is just annoying.

[So, she cuts the feed. That degree of self-flagellation is taking it too far.]