text;

[crabsurd]

FIRST OF ALL: FUCK YOU AND FUCK THIS.
GRUBNAPPING. OF COURSE! SO "ORIGINAL." I AM SO STUNNED BY THIS DISPLAY OF CREATIVITY AND GOOD SENSE THAT MY ASSORTED SHOCKBLADDERS HAVE GONE INTO OVERDRIVE. IN FACT, I - WAIT, YES - HERE IT GOES. YOU WIN. YOU FORCED THIS OUT OF ME:

O:B

HOLY SHIT, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO. LABORIOUSLY MASHING MY HANDS AROUND TO FORM WHAT WE CALL AN "EMOTE," BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE WORDS FOR HOW FUCKING FLABBERGASTED I AM. GOOD JOB, HUMANS. YOU'RE ONTO A WINNER.
"HEY, LET'S SNATCH UP THE ADOLESCENT TROLL WITHOUT WARNING OR PERMISSION AND BRING HIM TO SHITTY HUMAN TRASHPLANET TO SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS." WHAT A GREAT IDEA!
UGH.
AND BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, I *KNOW* THIS SO-CALLED NETWORK ISN'T *TECHNICALLY* MADE FOR THE NUB-FELLATING INCOMPETENT GRUBDOUCHES WHO BROUGHT ME HERE
I *KNOW* I AM VOMITING MY ALMIGHTY WRATH ON THE HEADS OF OTHER IMPORTS BLAH BLAH ETC
AND I DON'T CARE.
THERE ARE HUMANS AMONG YOU, SO I HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU ARE ALL COLLECTIVELY RESPONSIBLE FOR MY CURRENT PREDICAMENT. AND THAT'S TERRIBLE.
I HOPE YOU ALL FEEL ASHAMED, BUT REST ASSURED THAT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE AS ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES AS I AM OF YOU.
I AM PREPARING TO SECRETE SHAME FLUID FROM AN ASSORTMENT OF BODILY ORIFICES, SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF DROWNING YOU WEIRD HORNLESS ASSHOLES IN IT. I CONSIDER THIS A MERCY KILLING. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I GUESS WHILE I'M WORKING UP TO THAT I CAN
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE GET ON THIS "BLOGGING" BULLSHIT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.
SO IF ANYONE WANTS TO MAKE THEMSELVES USEFUL BEFORE BEING CULLED AND MAYBE LIKE
RECOMMEND SOME EARTH ROMCOMS FOR ME TO SNEER AT DERISIVELY OR SOMETHING
THAT WOULD BE HALFWAY TOLERABLE.

Comments

[wonk]

didnt he kill like half ur team

i never rly got a ton of details about that from fefeta

[crabsurd]

 

 

 

MY CONFUSION IS ALMOST OVERRIDING MY ANGER RIGHT NOW.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, AND "FEFETA" SOUNDS LIKE THE FAKEST OF ALL FAKE NAMES THAT I HAVE EVER HEARD.
I AM ON TO YOU, INTERLOPER
YOU ARE SOWING DISSENT AND PINK TEXT LIKE IT IS GOING OUT OF YOUR HUMAN STYLE, BUT I AM WISE TO YOUR WAYS.

[wonk]

lmao nope fefetasprite is a combo of feferi+nepeta

we were like best fuckin buds who exchanged the sickest of paw bomps

anyway we spent a lot of time shittalking dumb boys and i v clearly remember the juggalo as one of the dumbest boys

but like i said fefeta didnt give me a ton of details u kno

[crabsurd]

I
OK I DON'T KNOW YOU, ROSE HUMAN'S MOM HUMAN
BUT I AM STILL PRETTY CONCERNED ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW.
HAVE YOU BEEN CONSUMING HUMAN DRUGS?
DO YOU NEED A HUMAN INTERVENTION.

[wonk]

no kitkat troll i havent consumed a human drug in a v long time and i already had my human intervention'

u r probs from the past i feel like u shoulda picked up on this

[crabsurd]

KARKAT. KITKAT SOUNDS GRUBFUCKINGLY IDIOTIC AND WE ARE STRIKING IT FROM THE RECORD.
WHO SAYS I HAVE TO BE FROM THE PAST, HUH?
MAYBE YOU'RE FROM THE FUTURE. UH-OH! MINDFUCK.

[wonk]

time is relative glad weve established that

anyway i am from further along in the timeline than u clearly

and some shit goes down in ur future