text;

[crabsurd]

FIRST OF ALL: FUCK YOU AND FUCK THIS.
GRUBNAPPING. OF COURSE! SO "ORIGINAL." I AM SO STUNNED BY THIS DISPLAY OF CREATIVITY AND GOOD SENSE THAT MY ASSORTED SHOCKBLADDERS HAVE GONE INTO OVERDRIVE. IN FACT, I - WAIT, YES - HERE IT GOES. YOU WIN. YOU FORCED THIS OUT OF ME:

O:B

HOLY SHIT, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO. LABORIOUSLY MASHING MY HANDS AROUND TO FORM WHAT WE CALL AN "EMOTE," BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE WORDS FOR HOW FUCKING FLABBERGASTED I AM. GOOD JOB, HUMANS. YOU'RE ONTO A WINNER.
"HEY, LET'S SNATCH UP THE ADOLESCENT TROLL WITHOUT WARNING OR PERMISSION AND BRING HIM TO SHITTY HUMAN TRASHPLANET TO SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS." WHAT A GREAT IDEA!
UGH.
AND BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, I *KNOW* THIS SO-CALLED NETWORK ISN'T *TECHNICALLY* MADE FOR THE NUB-FELLATING INCOMPETENT GRUBDOUCHES WHO BROUGHT ME HERE
I *KNOW* I AM VOMITING MY ALMIGHTY WRATH ON THE HEADS OF OTHER IMPORTS BLAH BLAH ETC
AND I DON'T CARE.
THERE ARE HUMANS AMONG YOU, SO I HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU ARE ALL COLLECTIVELY RESPONSIBLE FOR MY CURRENT PREDICAMENT. AND THAT'S TERRIBLE.
I HOPE YOU ALL FEEL ASHAMED, BUT REST ASSURED THAT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE AS ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES AS I AM OF YOU.
I AM PREPARING TO SECRETE SHAME FLUID FROM AN ASSORTMENT OF BODILY ORIFICES, SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF DROWNING YOU WEIRD HORNLESS ASSHOLES IN IT. I CONSIDER THIS A MERCY KILLING. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I GUESS WHILE I'M WORKING UP TO THAT I CAN
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE GET ON THIS "BLOGGING" BULLSHIT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.
SO IF ANYONE WANTS TO MAKE THEMSELVES USEFUL BEFORE BEING CULLED AND MAYBE LIKE
RECOMMEND SOME EARTH ROMCOMS FOR ME TO SNEER AT DERISIVELY OR SOMETHING
THAT WOULD BE HALFWAY TOLERABLE.

Comments

[glowsferatu]

karkat you realize we kind of always wore nametags right
i never really stopped even if i dont approach them quite as strictly
this dress at least has a fairly prominent one

but i know where that is
i have friends who live up the street

[crabsurd]

YOU COULD HAVE STARTED DRESSING ALL
HUMANY
FROM WHAT I KNOW. OR A HUMAN COULD BE DRESSING LIKE YOU JUST TO TRICK ME.
IN FACT OK THERE'S A PASSWORD NOW
TO GET INTO MY BLOCK. PASSWORD.
THE PASSWORD IS "I DIDN'T REALLY BRING THE BELT FOR YOU."

[glowsferatu]

will you make a liar of me then karkat

[crabsurd]

 

 

THE PASSWORD HAS BEEN REVISED. IT IS NOW "MY NAME IS KANAYA MARYAM AND I AM THE ACTUAL LITERAL WORST."

[glowsferatu]

see thats much improved on the honesty front
your revision has been accepted

as for dressing more "humany"
pretending thats a word for the sake of argument
we will say that i simply dont dress boring
but that doesnt make me one of them
and i have no intention of allowing them to forget it

[crabsurd]

ACCEPTABLE.
I APPROVE OF YOU SHOWING YOUR SUPERIORITY OVER THEM BY ANY MEANS POSSIBLE, EVEN IF FASHION IS STUPID.
CONTINUE. THAT'S AN OFFICIAL LEADER ORDER.

[ Attempting to reassert leadership by giving orders that people are already following? YUP. ]

[glowsferatu]

[ she could try arguing separation versus superiority, but she's pretty sure it would be a waste of her time. ]

thank you karkat
i will take your orders to heart by continuing to do as i am already inclined
dont worry youll still get all the credit