#001; text

[could_be_dangerous]

In light of recent events it seems apt that I make an advertisement offering my services to the general public. I am Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, amply acquainted with the solution of murders, thefts, arsons, and the generally unsavoury, etc. Inquiries of a general nature may be directed to me at any time, though I take cases at my own discretion, and will generally request an interview to establish both the particulars and the legitimacy of the case. The suspicious may refer to Dr. John Watson for a no-doubt superfluously effusive list of my general accomplishments, and when he proves unconvincing I should be delighted to provide a demonstration of my capabilities. In what will no doubt be vastly more appealing than any of the previous to some of you, I shall add that all services will be rendered entirely gratis.

((ooc: Permissions post/opt-out here, for anything you'd rather Sherlock not pick up on. Additionally, there may be some threadjacking here and there by the aforementioned Dr. Watson since it is his lot in life to babysit this gigantic infant, and if anyone would like to address him instead of Sherlock they can note as much in their subject lines.))

Comments

voice;

[could_be_dangerous]

[There's a heavy sigh at the outset — Sherlock Holmes prefers to text, among other annoyances.]

I solve cases otherwise deemed unsolvable, whether by the official police or by the clients who being their problems to me directly. Both are most often wrong. More importantly, I did provide a reference. I really prefer not to tell my own stories and John seems to relish doing so at every opportunity and he's mostly accurate. Isn't difficult to work out that contacting him would be a better arrangement than the current one, unless you're opting to skip the résumé.

voice;

[brushoff]

There's nothing wrong with being a bit of a braggart, [ says the king braggart himself. ]

voice until stated otherwise;

[could_be_dangerous]

I'd tend to agree, which is why it would be a waste to feel obligated to recount accomplishments rather than assure you of my ability to produce them.

voice;

[brushoff]

Fine, fine. [ siiiiigh ] So sue me if I wanted to hear about certain things from the man himself.

[could_be_dangerous]

I have been reliably informed that my storytelling lacks flavour.

[brushoff]

Might want to work on that.

[could_be_dangerous]

Might, except that I really don't.

[Bleh bleh bleh, Dorian.]

You could, of course, be specific about your certain things.

[brushoff]

You don't know any Alan Campbells either, do you?

[could_be_dangerous]

Can't say I do, I'm afraid. Admittedly not very good with names, not when they're attached to someone boring. Have met, possibly, but if so he didn't make an impression. Clearly you think he ought to have.

[brushoff]

Let's just say that I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future in this regard.