#001; text

[could_be_dangerous]

In light of recent events it seems apt that I make an advertisement offering my services to the general public. I am Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, amply acquainted with the solution of murders, thefts, arsons, and the generally unsavoury, etc. Inquiries of a general nature may be directed to me at any time, though I take cases at my own discretion, and will generally request an interview to establish both the particulars and the legitimacy of the case. The suspicious may refer to Dr. John Watson for a no-doubt superfluously effusive list of my general accomplishments, and when he proves unconvincing I should be delighted to provide a demonstration of my capabilities. In what will no doubt be vastly more appealing than any of the previous to some of you, I shall add that all services will be rendered entirely gratis.

((ooc: Permissions post/opt-out here, for anything you'd rather Sherlock not pick up on. Additionally, there may be some threadjacking here and there by the aforementioned Dr. Watson since it is his lot in life to babysit this gigantic infant, and if anyone would like to address him instead of Sherlock they can note as much in their subject lines.))

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why don't we discuss the generally unsavory?

[could_be_dangerous]

A question I ask myself constantly. Have been informed it's bad manners, particularly at the dinner table.
SH

[slightlyoffchilt]

Perhaps you simply require a fresh set of dinner guests, if that's the case.

[could_be_dangerous]

You're suggesting yourself. If you're looking to psychoanalyze me, Doctor Chilton, you may as well be straightforward about it.
SH

[slightlyoffchilt]

Would you appreciate something without any maneuvering towards mystery? I find myself doubting that.

But I won't deny that a dinner with Sherlock Holmes has its allure.

[could_be_dangerous]

I'm afraid I'm not precisely in the market for a date either.
SH

[Not that that's a no.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

[This return text takes a moment -- Chilton's just lucky he wasn't conversing without the protection of a communicator's screen.]

Not a date. A civil discussion accompanied by food. [Sure, Chilton.] Unless of course, you're a man more consumed by his cases and less encased with consuming?

[could_be_dangerous]

I prefer to avoid eating when I'm working; bad for brainwork. As I'm not currently working, however, I suppose something could be arranged. As a favour.
SH

[slightlyoffchilt]

A favor to me? No one said you were such a generous man, as well. How dare they.

[could_be_dangerous]

Favours are only given in expectation of return and I'm not susceptible to flattery, not that sort. I could be interesting and you could be useful; it's a fair enough exchange.
SH

[slightlyoffchilt]

I can agree to those terms.

[It's easy for him to avoid chagrin of conscripting himself to use when Sherlock (decisively an interesting man) already offered himself to Chilton's observation. Informally, of course.]

Consider it a done deal.

[acclimatized]

Don't encourage him.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I can't help my own professional curiosity.

[acclimatized]

Is that your job then? The 'generally unsavory'?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Admittedly, not as much now. I take imPort patients, I wouldn't call all of them unsavory. Generally.

But I had worked with the criminally insane, before I came here. Something that, I am under the assumption, you both have experience with?

[acclimatized]

At least not where they can see it?

Yes, very much so. We've dealt with all sorts. Show-offs. Psychopaths. You name it, we've probably met them.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I think highly of my patients.

[So, yes, not where any could see his private opinions.]

Do you have any favorite anecdotes?

[acclimatized]

Clearly.

[ so much suspicion. john remembers when renee slagged you off, Chilton. ]

I do actually. We had some university students wind us up once. This bloke came to Sherlock about his "invisibility problem" by leaving an empty suit in our flat. Sherlock thought we had been drugged, or there was a camera projecting a suit onto the chair, until I suggested it could have been a practical joke.

I called it "The Hollow Client".

[slightlyoffchilt]

[God, Renee. Ruining everything!!]

If that is the brunt of what you've been a target of, I imagine you're both very fortunate men.

[acclimatized]

You asked for anecdotes and I thought those are supposed to be amusing. We've been targeted a lot; that is just one of the funny ones.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I might very well find the life-threatening scenarios quite humorous, of course.

Given that you are alive and well in this dimension, it isn't too morbid, is it?

[acclimatized]

[ you're weird chilton. ]

You have a point there. It's a shame I haven't got my blog here: it would save my fingers some work.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Thanks, John.]

Now a blog would be quite intriguing. Considering that Tattlecrime won't be coming back, there's a bit of a void, isn't there? You and Mr. Sherlock would have quite the following.

Or would the man who signs every text with SH not prefer a following?