maskormenace | #001; text

In light of recent events it seems apt that I make an advertisement offering my services to the general public. I am Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, amply acquainted with the solution of murders, thefts, arsons, and the generally unsavoury, etc. Inquiries of a general nature may be directed to me at any time, though I take cases at my own discretion, and will generally request an interview to establish both the particulars and the legitimacy of the case. The suspicious may refer to Dr. John Watson for a no-doubt superfluously effusive list of my general accomplishments, and when he proves unconvincing I should be delighted to provide a demonstration of my capabilities. In what will no doubt be vastly more appealing than any of the previous to some of you, I shall add that all services will be rendered entirely gratis.

((ooc: Permissions post/opt-out here, for anything you'd rather Sherlock not pick up on. Additionally, there may be some threadjacking here and there by the aforementioned Dr. Watson since it is his lot in life to babysit this gigantic infant, and if anyone would like to address him instead of Sherlock they can note as much in their subject lines.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I could be. [ He's considered it. If only because shit keeps going down. ] I just usually have better plans for those nights.

[ They might be sex. Or, more seriously— patrolling, while everyone is off at a party. Primetime to pull off crime. ]

Could. Well, at least you believe in yourself!

[She lets that hang for a minute.]

Though you could probably drum up some business that way.

Unlike some people around here.

[ Ahem. ]

It's not as though we don't get plenty just through random Import mishap alone.

Well-earned humility always has its place.

[... It's not humility at all, but it still feels like a jab. She's used to Matt's arrogance by now.]

And we do, but you should be a household name.

And you're not. I am, but it feels morally wrong to go, "Yay! I sat typing instead of filing Matt's files for days on a very long FAQ, so you should give him business."

Then again, that might be the whole good guy code at work. We have one of those firmly in place.

I'm glad you're enjoying your notoriety, Kate.

[ It's kind of a pain in the ass, because she's right. It's been a damn long time since he had no real reputation to speak of, and it's weird. Even before the fiasco in the newspapers and the courtroom confession, he'd been well-known. ]

And I'm glad you're so deeply concerned about my reputation.

[ The one that's been out of control and that he's maybe tanked numerous times and that usually follows him like a ghost. Maybe he should just out himself again and get it over with. ]

I like a lot of things.

Like my paycheck.

[And having clients means that she still gets one of those.]

Who signs those, again?

[ It's not sulking when you're forty. ]

And nobody's tried to pay in fluke in months now.

[ And that was one time. ]

You do, but we don't want any checks bouncing, do we? [Matt is well aware of the fact that Kate takes detective gigs and sometimes has to steal the office to herself to make sure these investigations go off without a hitch, but the fact of the matter is that she's still not ... comfortable with the idea of handling money and budgeting. She's twenty two, but it's a fact of life.

Of course, she's gotten much better at ordering the necessary office supplies, making the right amount of coffee, and ensuring that Matt's gourmet tea collection stays up to snuff.

But it took her a few months to get a handle on it, and she sometimes stumbles here and there.]

And thankfully not. Though I do think I've been bribed in Southern cooking a few times lately. [Which she's sure he'd recall, as Will's food gets delivered to the office.]

Thank god I never asked you to do any accounting.

[ Which, in fact, Matt can do but usually requires someone like Foggy anyway to make sure they stay in the red. But he can be practical when he has to be. Appropriately cautious and frugal and something something. ]

People want to bring us lunch, I'm not going to worry too much about it. Spares somebody from having to leave the office. [ Also spares them from any potential attempts Lil might make to do it, in her attempts to be a good girlfriend. ] But your concerns have been duly noted.

I'll have you know that I'm very good with money! [Now. The "now" is left out.]

Though if you can get someone to pay us in one of those cute water dispensing containers with giant jugs, and have them delivery them weekly, I'll be forever grateful. [Hint hint.] I mean, now there are three of us. We could use the extra H2O.

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