001 | video

[ferrisbuellean]

[The video feed pans on to a well dressed, perfectly presented guy offering a winning smile as he sits in the booth of some fancy bar, all wood and leather, while nursing a glass of whiskey. Someone else is holding the camera and there's enough shaky cam and unfocused zooming to make the Bourne franchise jealous.]

Hey there. Do you like watching a ridiculously good looking man do law stuff? Want to watch him play some nondescript puzzle game on his phone for an entire hour? If yes, then have I got a surprise for you. If no, watch it anyway because apparently I need the ratings.

Jeff Winger here, Lawyer at Large and city hero bringing you a brand new series about me. [Another oh-so charming smile and a dramatic point to the camera.] And law!

Danger! Intrigue! Thrills! These are some things you'll probably never see in my show, but watch it anyway because hey, you might just strike it lucky. And ladies, you might just strike it lucky with me.

[Smirk smirk smirk, pause and then a glance off camera to someone, smugness replaced with a curious furrow of brows.] You guys do know I was disbarred ri-- [And the feed ends.]

Comments

[ferrisbuellean]

Is that not good viewing?

[microbrobotics]

uhhhh maybe for all the teenaged girls in your audience.

[ferrisbuellean]

Yeeeah, you're probably right. That's kinda creepy. I was hoping for an older audience. What do I need to do, random person named Hiro? My show depends on this very decision.

[microbrobotics]

what were you even TRYING to do? or was this just some random job thing.

[ferrisbuellean]

Random job thing. I'm just doing what I'm told. ... Which is actually pretty rare.

What'd you get stuck with?

[microbrobotics]

yeah bravo I guess. but seriously yo don't have to stick with it.

internship at a tech company. but i got a better offer like immediately. now I'm just a straight up robotics engineer.

[ferrisbuellean]

I'll go with it for now. I'm really not interested in the job market of this place.

[And doing this is way cooler than being a community college professor kthx.]

A robotics engineer though? That's pretty fancy.

[microbrobotics]

i guess it could be worse. you could be in school or something.

[ Or ... yes, that. Don't tell Hiro that or he'll mock you forever. ]

yeah i guess. mostly it's fun. also im a genius so you know.

[ferrisbuellean]

Ha yeah exactly.

[It's embarrassing enough for him without telling everyone ever.]

What kinda robots do you engineer?

[microbrobotics]

all kinds. big ones, little swarmy ones, medium ones that fetch tools for me.

[ferrisbuellean]

Can you make one that'll pour my whiskey for me?

[microbrobotics]

pffffft sure, that's easy.

[ferrisbuellean]

I'll take fifty.

[microbrobotics]

dude what do you need FIFTY for. i'll make you one. if you're nice about it.

[ferrisbuellean]

I guess one would be enough. I warn you I have 0 funds right now.

[microbrobotics]

buy me a drink and we'll call it even?

[ No, Hiro. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

Deal. I expect a classy robot though.

[Jeff really should check what he's agreeing to next time.]

[microbrobotics]

ill give him a bowtie and everything.

[ Don't worry, his brother will stop him even if he tries to actually get paid in alcohol. ]

im hiro by the way. hiro hamada.

[ferrisbuellean]

Perfect.

Jeff. Although you already knew that. Hi Hiro. Where you from? Originally, I mean.

[microbrobotics]

well yeah i figured.

and im from san fransokyo. if you haven't heard of that, just picture a really japanese san francisco.

[ferrisbuellean]

I've never heard of it, so yup, picturing Japanese San Francisco. Is it like the Japanese version of Chinatown?

[microbrobotics]

ugh no. unless you count the REALLY touristy spots. which I dont.

[ferrisbuellean]

Ok. So does that put Fransokyo in Japan or America? Or is that just... not how your world works?

[microbrobotics]

california. california is ... california? it's part of the us but used to be a japanese colony ages ago.

[ferrisbuellean]

Huh. So it's kinda like normal but not.