001 | video

[ferrisbuellean]

[The video feed pans on to a well dressed, perfectly presented guy offering a winning smile as he sits in the booth of some fancy bar, all wood and leather, while nursing a glass of whiskey. Someone else is holding the camera and there's enough shaky cam and unfocused zooming to make the Bourne franchise jealous.]

Hey there. Do you like watching a ridiculously good looking man do law stuff? Want to watch him play some nondescript puzzle game on his phone for an entire hour? If yes, then have I got a surprise for you. If no, watch it anyway because apparently I need the ratings.

Jeff Winger here, Lawyer at Large and city hero bringing you a brand new series about me. [Another oh-so charming smile and a dramatic point to the camera.] And law!

Danger! Intrigue! Thrills! These are some things you'll probably never see in my show, but watch it anyway because hey, you might just strike it lucky. And ladies, you might just strike it lucky with me.

[Smirk smirk smirk, pause and then a glance off camera to someone, smugness replaced with a curious furrow of brows.] You guys do know I was disbarred ri-- [And the feed ends.]

Comments

[ferrisbuellean]

Oh, I've just. Heard them in passing. Y'know how it is. [Whoop, time to get away from that awkward.]

I'll be sure to keep all of them in mind. Can't go wrong with a bit of extra promotion.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Promotion is something easily accessible to our kind thankfully. Our celebrity affords us so much.

And then there's the internet. [There's something ominous in his tone -- and it's not like Chilton is a technophobe, he's a walking advertisement for Apple.] Tread carefully with regards to imPort search terms. There is ample... Fiction. About us.

Probably some about you already.

[ferrisbuellean]

Hah! No way? People write fanfics about imPorts? This I gotta see. [Chilton, what have you done?!]

Please tell me some sort of video sharing site exists around here.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I don't engage myself with the matter, personally. [He is enabling a monster!!] But there's an imPort here called Loki -- he probably writes some of this... Material. I mean, if I were to guess, he certainly seems the type.

No doubt he'd be willing to showcase all the best bits.

[ferrisbuellean]

I'll keep that in mind. [Loki too? When will the awesomeness end?]

You know, you're a pretty useful guy to have around.

[slightlyoffchilt]

That almost seems like an invitation to socialize.

[ferrisbuellean]

It can be, if you want it to be. Are you a fan of well aged scotch whiskey?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well now you're singing my song. [Relatively expensive alcohol: the way the Chilton's heart.] Just say when and where -- or, perhaps I should provide the where, given how long I've been here.

[ferrisbuellean]

You seem like a man who knows his way around, I think I can trust you to name a good enough place. Nothing too hipster, but you don't strike me as the sort anyway. As for when, well, my schedule is oddly open right now.

[slightlyoffchilt]

So you're suggesting I best pounce now, before you fill that oddly empty schedule with women prone to your sarcastic charms?

[It's a compliment, coming from him.]

Nothing too hipster. I can accommodate -- what city are you in? I can meet you.

[AND would you like to thread out their meeting here, or handwave?]

[ferrisbuellean]

Exactly that. It's only a matter of time before I've got a full schedule and a contact list full of good looking ladies. Consider yourself lucky that you're getting an early meet.

[Taken as a compliment and followed up with a smile.]

Nonah. Come at me, big shot. And bring money.

(Either would be fine! I am totally down for threading it out if you got the time.)

1/2 to action!

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well, who could resist a line like that? Give me half an hour, I'll have to get to the intercity porter. Perks of being Registered.

There's a whiskey bar called Habeas Corpus on Fifth and Pine. Thought you'd appreciate the atmosphere. [Yes, the lawful "you have the body".] See you there.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Thirty minutes later, to the second. It's almost like Chilton had timed this before. He enters the subdued, darkly colored bar looking for Winger. It's an establishment with thick wood and teal accents; image-conscious but veering on the look of substance.]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Chilton's chosen well. It's Jeff's kind of scene and the perfect name too. He briefly considers how the place could do with a few more pool tables and ladies with their boobs out, but granted the latter two tend to lower the classiness of a place. He's just a man of varying tastes. As it is he finds it with relative ease, grabs himself a drink while he waits (scotch, no ice), and sets himself up in a quiet booth with a view of the entrance.

His signal to Chilton is a raise of his glass and a sombre nod, subdued to match the décor.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

[If Chilton didn't already know what Jeff Winger looked like, he could have anticipated the fellow's identity by the flirtatious looks some of the women across the bar would give the new imPort. It wasn't difficult to imagine how this man could be highly effective in a court of law, especially when a jury verdict depended so much on the persuasion of the defense or prosecution. Factual information often came in second place when human rationale was concerned.]

Mr Winger.

[Chilton approached him with the ease of a cautious man, after having ordered his own scotch. It wouldn't do to greet the other man drinkless. He nodded at what Winger had in hand.]

Good choice of drink -- especially if I'm paying for it.

[Bring money hadn't been lost on him.]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Those women hadn't gone unnoticed, naturally, and were it any other time Jeff would be over there with them or sending looks straight back at them while pretending to be some sort of brooding loner. It's a tactic that's worked in the past. Chicks love the mystery of it all, or so he assumes. Maybe later he could try his luck with some of them, but for now he's got a meeting to attend to and Chilton is dead on time.]

Mr. Chilton.

[That sombre nod from a moment ago transforms into a welcoming smile, creasing at the corners of his eyes with just a little too much mischief.]

Okay, you caught me. Balvenie, seventeen years. Amazing.

[He stands to offer out a hand, hospitable because making friends was just like persuading clients to give you all their money, right?]

Please, sit down.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Doctor.

[The correction caused him a double-take; did Winger do that intentionally? Probably. But it would be highly difficult to claim intent, especially with a defense attorney.]

I trust you've been busy?

[That was more a reference to the ladies that kept throwing glances. Clearly that brooding tactic worked quite well -- it even got Chilton to take a seat, as directed by Winger, as if Jeff owned this fine establishment.]

Have you already decided which one you'll spend the night with?

[ferrisbuellean]

[Completely intentional, you caught him, and yet he'd deny all accusations in a heartbeat. Simple mistake to make, doctor, his humblest apologies.]

I've not thought about it.

[Yes, he has. Extensively. He does an impressive job of hiding that fact though as he drops back into his space without so much as a glance towards them, glass in hand and wrist rolling just enough to keep the liquid within slowly on the move.]

You're welcome to have a bash at them if you want. I got time. I can totally be your wingman, tell them all these great stories about you and how great you are in the sack.

[slightlyoffchilt]

They might question if you have any personal experience, with regards to your latter testimony.

[Despite the comeback (spoken without missing a beat), a light tint of color graced Chilton's cheeks. It was one thing to bat quipping rhetoric around, and another to do so while maintaining perfect composure.]

Anyway, your kind offer is duly acknowledged. As it happens, I'm not quite in the market. But you are -- at least, in terms of your show. How exciting that must be for you.

Perhaps some of my patients will need you to plead their cases. [Chilton took a sip just then, nearly drowning his next three words:] Like Dorian Gray.

[ferrisbuellean]

[Ah, gay jokes, how familiar. But Jeff takes it with a mere shrug, not countering or disproving the statement because Chilton's slight discomfort is worth it. Getting a reaction, not matter what the reaction, is almost always worth it, unless it involves being punched in the face and then it's never worth it.]

Dorian who? [He got Chilton here for information (and the understanding that it pays to have friends in new places), it's his own responsibility to filter through the crap.

He leans forward, a typical display of interest even if it isn't entirely genuine.]

What sort of patients do you have, exactly?

[slightlyoffchilt]

[As Jeff could probably have anticipated, Chilton wouldn't be one to throw a punch. And it wasn't just because he would inevitably consider the gesture undignified.]

Dorian Gray. [He responded with ease, well aware that the name so casually tossed from his mouth was originally a fictional one.] And yes, he is that Dorian, famed for his picture. Quite honestly, the fellow is far too fond of throwing around the fact of his immortality.

[A shrug followed, as if to implicate that yes, he had wondered if that portrait was stashed somewhere in this universe.]

Well -- I specialize in imPort psychology. Out of necessity and convenience. But my formal career lies in the criminal mind.

[ferrisbuellean]

Yeah, I think I was meant to read that crap for English once when I was a kid.

['Meant to' being the key word there, because reading involves effort and brain power and Jeff was likely far more eager to avoid either. So whatever, some English lit character is here that Jeff is pretty sure was in some weird superhero movie ages ago with Sean Connery and a sexy vampiress...? Abed would remember. Fuck it, it's an immortal dude, what more is there to know?

Chilton is the here and now and that's probably the more important factor here.]

Criminal mind though? That explains so much. You ever do testimonies in court? Y'know, the 'I'm an expert so I agree with the brilliant and handsome lawyer here that the prosecution is clearly a huge liar'?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I've done a few, yes. I was Chief of Staff at my state hospital, which lent some authority to my statements. [And Chilton loved every minute of it, something that he made clear in those few words spoken on the matter. What he neglected to engage, however, was the fact that he had at one point testified against Will Graham. It was the circumstance of an accurate profile labeled to the wrong man -- if only he had known Hannibal's depth at the time.] Though I might not propose to your expert by following up with such honesty. Clearly a huge liar, goodness, Mr. Winger. No wonder you're in defense.

[It was said with a smile and a wink, but revealed what was probably obvious: Chilton considered most people to be guilty, with or without a trial.]

I've had patients from home show up here. Highly unpleasant. You know, any criminal is given a second chance here -- no strings attached. It's only a matter of time before someone dies because of that baseline.

You ought to be in good business.

[ferrisbuellean]

['No wonder you're in defense.' That's enough to get a slow eyebrow arch, not to mention quite the aid in fleshing out Chilton's character. Humorous joke or not, there's always some truth behind such comments.]

That's what I'm thinking. There's always people getting into trouble and there's always people who want out of trouble. I can be the defender of rights or some crap.

[A slow swirl of his glass and a twitch of a smile that displays just how little he believes in that final comment. Jeff was never in the job for the protection of people, he was in it for the fortune and easy wins. Was. But when he did try and branch out for pro bono work and fighting the good fight, that didn't exactly work well for him.

It pays to be a selfish asshole, he supposes.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Highly inspirational.

[As sardonically as that observation was delivered, there had to be some inherent truth to the matter; often defense lawyers relied on inspiration. An appeal to the pathos. That could be more influential than a slew of facts, if one knew how to poke fingers at the mechanisms of human character. In their line of work, that was far more useful a shortcut.]

Has anyone discussed with you the similarities between psychiatry and law?

[Which might have been a jarring tangent.]

I mean -- in the way we deal with emotions. The emotions of others.