maskormenace | 001: first prayer, voice-video

"If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down from hence: For it is written, He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee: And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone." Poor baby.

The prophets wrote that Jesus, having resurrected, first presented himself to Mary Magdalene, who did not recognize him. Well, that's a classical telling. 'The women' is a more accurate translation. So I did that. They had cookies. [ A thoughtful clucking sound is attached to the disassociated voice. ] Then he came down upon his disciples, and broke bread with them. Would you be surprised to know just how many Satanists there are in Florida? They were very accommodating.

[ The camera is turned upwards. Here, at last, is an (unfortunately) familiar face for those who have been here for a while. Lucifer doesn't look like much otherwise, just another steely eyed, rough featured imPort making his introductions. There are wounds healing on his - admittedly pale - face that look like they might have been some kind of deep tissue radiation burn. Still, he doesn't seem to be in any pain--he looks kind of cheerful. ]

I really don't know what I did to deserve a military escort, but I'm more than happy to know that I've engendered such respect in the human population here. Well--respect; fear; one is so very much like the other.

Now then, why don't we start with some introductions. [ He tapped his lip with one finger, considering where to start. ] I have a number of names, most largely unnecessary, but Lucifer will do. For the uneducated amongst you, that means I'm an archangel. For the heathens--well, sucks to be you; you have fun with that. [ The amusement is clear in the crinkles about his eyes. ] Furthermore, I'm delighted to announce that very soon I'll be usurping the airtime of a televangelist near you. Television exposure, a sponsorship from DRV Games, the adoration of my fans-- [ He drawls, it's difficult to tell whether or not he's being sarcastic: ] It's like a dream come true.

Oh, and Dean? Hello darling. Let's have a little chat, shall we? Happy belated Easter, chickens.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It must be exciting if you're dodging the question. Whatever did you do?

Not dodging. [Just taking his time. He's lazy even in conversation.] I was a pirate. It's rather common where I'm from, although anyone who goes down that path is bound to get some kind of reputation sooner or later.

It still doesn't carry quite the same weight as being some angel, though. [Which he's actually pretty fine with.]

Maybe not, but you know it's classic dinner party etiquette to be polite about other people's lots in life, no matter how low you might consider them to be. Let a man ridicule himself--it's just rude to do it for him, don't you think?

Now are you sure you're a pirate? You haven't made a single comment about swashbuckling or the high seas, and it's been...oh, two whole minutes.

[ What was that about being rude? ]