VIDEO

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[There is a 6'1", 200ish lb. man staring you down; the man is dressed in a very...interesting-looking suit. The mask isn't on, but what you see looking back at you is a tired, stern face that, yes, has a handlebar mustache on it. His wrist-magnums are not on.

The man is smoking and standing, glocks akimbo.

Behind him, there are display cases and exhibits, pertaining to various weapons, in a nice, marbled setting. Notably, nothing is on fire.] Alright. After the events of th'past few weeks, people've been scared of goin' into museums. I was told this morning that attendance at the Museum of Weapons, where I work, is at its armpittiest low in ten years.

And you know what else the Head Curator told me? Head Curator here told me I gotta keep perspective. That, at least, we still got the museum. That we oughta keep on doin' what we're doin', beef up security, but otherwise act like nothing happened.

[A beat.] I'm gonna go one step further and issue one warning.

This here museum is under my protection. Anyone even joke 'bout getting lighter fluid from th'nearby convenience store and droppin' by to test it out, you're goin' on th'banned for life list.

You mess with this place, I mess with your face.

Made that rhyme so nobody's got any excuse to forget it. [With that, the transmission cuts.]

Comments

[beenwaitinglong]

Nice rhyme.

[He takes a loooong drink from a cup of coffee.]

I can appreciate a man with a dedication to the arts.

Voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

Well, what can I say? I'm a real Dr. Seuss with givin' threats over public networks. [Dry dry dry.]

Got a few others if you wanna hear 'em.

[beenwaitinglong]

Sure, why not?

With the fair advanced warning that I'm a lawyer, so anything that could be construed as a specific threat to a specific person is probably not a great idea.

[video]

[attractedtodarkness]

You're just asking for trouble with this broadcast.

[not that she hasn't seen first hand what he can do]

Voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[Hey, it's...Whatsherface!] Trouble tends to follow me either ways, girlie. This way, I figure, at least I done somethin' to earn it.

[attractedtodarkness]

[it sure is]</smalL. Let me know if you get fired, I want to tell you I told you so.

permavid

[glassbox]

Y'take your damn antiques serious, don't you.

Voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

Nah. I may like me my ancient scimitars, but I'm more serious 'bout losin' this job on accounta some shitheads torching up the place. [And, well, losing access to the arsenal of working guns that the Museum had to offer.]

voice

[larker]

[This is the worst idea. Ever. It's also the best idea, because seriously, how can Gabriel even resist?]

Are firelighters off the menu too, big boy?

Voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[...big boy?] If you don't got candles on you, I'm takin' 'em and using 'em to light my cigs.

Video;

[godly]

[...well. Hello there again.]

Very memorable. I guess that's what you were going for.

Voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[Hiii Raito.] Glad to've gotten your note of approval, Mr. You Gotta Believe in Yerself to make a Difference in th' World.

voice

[dissemble]

I don't think I've ever been warned off a weapons museum before.

[Lucifer is in the middle of something very important, okay. Please don't take up a lot of his time.]

1/2 Voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[Oh, well, in that case, Deadhead will definitely make this a quick threat, Mr. Devil, sir.] 's like what them old ladies always say. Somethin' new everyday.

2/2 Switch to Video

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[The man reappears on-screen, this time with his mask on and, oh, what's that over his shoulder?] You come within a 300 meter radius of this place, I got this here bazooka for you.

[Happy birthday, Mr. Devil!]

[fingerbang]

It's always nice to see such dedication to one's work, Mr. Lawton. I hope their insurance covers the walls.

Voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[Have a smirk, Lust!] Soundin' bitter there, lady.

If it's any comfort to you, them bullets I put in you that time ago weren't fired out of nothin' personal. [Except, well, technically, his hate.] Just my way of vocalizing distaste for your habits. Long as you don't mess with me and my stuff, we oughta be good as fried gold.

[enigmaestro]

Perhaps they misunderstood your resume? Not that I don't enjoy the outcome, mind.

Voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

I'm sure they won't mind a loada dead pyros neither. [Because due process? What's that?]

[premorse]

Good to see some people like their jobs.

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

I was told th'machine that brought us in picked out a job based on the sparse file printed 'bout us. 'sposed to match up with our experiences. [Did Floyd believe it?

...he wasn't so sure anymore.] What kinda job were you saddled with?

knows no encryption...

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[--so, he attempts an encryption of his own.

Jeannette would tell him about how Scandal and her spent time up in a gulag.

Which meant the heir of Vandal Savage spoke perfectly good Russian.

Like he was right now.] Hadda send the message out to everyone. And, apparently, it's legal to threaten guys on a public network--so long as it ain't to one particular person or persons.

'Cept maybe the Devil. [Technically the devil wasn't covered by the rules, but Floyd was still counting it.]

audio;

[pyms]

[ Of all the things he was expecting from his housemate, this wasn't it. The threat, yes, he was expecting that much. But for ... a museum? ]

Someone out there is going to take that as a direct challenge.

voice

[goodbadimthguywiththgun]

[Yes. This was actually a museum Floyd liked. And what Floyd liked, he took care of.

In his own violent way.] If it's any comfort to you, I think someone already has. [A beat.] But I got outta it.