001 | Video

[grouchinleather]

[The camera clicks to show a close-up of a nice shot of leather crotch, which quickly whips upwards to show a white crescent insignia on top of a gray upside down triangle. Look, he hasn't exactly needed to frame himself for a glorified skype conversation before, all right? The Authority would usually just headmail each other.

After a moment more of fidgeting, showing off some various shots of the strangers black trench coat, the camera finally makes its way up to his cowled face--a very, very unhappy cowled face.]

Look, you can all just skip the multiverse pep talk. Until yesterday I lived in the goddamn Bleed between realities, and me and four alternate versions of myself play poker every other Thursday. I'm familiar with the concept.

What I want is how exactly they brought us here. An Earth alternate too stupid to get itself out of the cold war shouldn't have the technology to snatch people from other dimensions.

[Especially without the Authority knowing about it. But he decides to keep that little piece of information to himself, because it's none of their fucking business.]

I tried asking the woman that brought me here, but she was too busy trying to explain to me what a gee golly great place America was. Give me answers and maybe I won't find trying this thing a major waste of my time.

[Goes to hang up, but stops at the last second, and adds:] Speaking of, don't tell me any of you actually bought that bullshit. There's no such thing as a free lunch, kids.

[And with that, he turns the feed off.]

Comments

[viced]

You know, it's kind of shitty living through an apocalypse. We don't like to think about it.

[ A pause. ] And it's not surprising that you don't. I'll tell you this, though, you sound just like you did before.

[grouchinleather]

Yeah well if that world ended what's to stop this one from going the same way?

[Sorry, he really doesn't give a fuck about your feelings right now.]

You gonna tell me we were friends next?

[viced]

You're right, there is nothing else stopping it from happening.

[ A beat. ]

But do I sound like we were fucking friends?

[grouchinleather]

All the more reason you should get over yourself and fill me in on what happened.

[He smirks.]

I wanted to see if you were going to lie to me.

[viced]

Right, right. So you know the three fates? They were in the forms of machines, or two of them were. There was a group, called Vulcanus, that was trying to put an end to imports where we were at. Just a plain old Earth, with a couple of extra countries, and New York was called just the City.

Anyway, Atropos was called, and she smashed the world. The porter -- the one bringing us in was called Lachesis, and she saved us. Brought us here.

And then she vanished.

[grouchinleather]

[Listens quietly. The bit about Lachesis jives with what everyone else has told him so far, but the rest of this stuff's new.]

What about the third fate? Clotho? I'm guessing she was the second machine. What did she do? And what happened to her?

[viced]

She was... [ A sigh. ] She was in another universe entirely. She... Lachesis, I mean, was sending us to other worlds, to help stop Vulcanus from getting the things that they needed to wipe us off the map. Clotho was in one of those universes.

From what I hear, she sent people back. I...was killed in that world and got out a different way.

[grouchinleather]

And Vulcanus is?

I hate to break it to you buddy, you don't look too dead to me.

THE PROBLEM WITH FIVE CHARACTERS...

[viced]

They were trying to wipe us out. They did everything they possibly could to put an end to imports, but they never quite made it.

And I know I am now. I was brought back -- I actually died twice. [ A scoff ] I had some bad luck back then.

I saw nothing :)

[grouchinleather]

Considering you're all here now and not there, I'd say they succeeded. Unless they're here too.

Or good luck. Most people don't come back once, let alone twice.

WHISTLES INNOCENTLY good

[viced]

They're not -- so we did win out.

But you're right, I guess it could be looked at like that, but... well, it was just the way of things, back there. I try not to get into a habit of dying, it's pretty damn painful.

[grouchinleather]

I'd imagine. And frankly I'd question your sanity if you did.

[viced]

Hell, you'll find some people here you will question, guaranteed.

[grouchinleather]

Yeah, well, what else is new.

Seeing as you know "me," you should be aware I can handle myself.

[viced]

Hey, that was never actually in contention. I think you'll be fine.

Nothing wrong with friendly advice, though.

[grouchinleather]

Any other nuggets of wisdom you want to impart on me, "buddy"?

[viced]

Oh, I'm sure I'll come up with something after disconnecting. That's the way it always goes.

If you're in Florida, avoid the Alligators?

[grouchinleather]

[Rolls his eyes.]

However would I have survived without that vital information?

[viced]

I think you'd have figured out a way, honestly.

[grouchinleather]

Wow, I guess you do know me after all.

[The sarcasm. He is thick with it.]

[viced]

I don't know if that's a good indicator, pal. [ He knows he doesn't mean it. ]

But sure, we can go with that. If you really want to.

[grouchinleather]

Hey you're the one claiming we're old buddies.

[Yes, he's aware it's an exaggeration.]