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[bloodpressured]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF







OKAY. YES. OKAY.

WELL, HELLO THERE, HUMANS. ALL OF YOU ARE LOOKING VERY ALIVE AND I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A PLEASANT DAY, GOING ABOUT YOUR VARIOUS BUSINESSES SUCH AS "BEING ON PLANET EARTH" AND "EXISTING" AND "HOLY SHIT, WHAT." SO NO NEED TO STOP DOING THAT IF I'M INTERRUPTING!

HEY, LISTEN, I GET IT, IF I HAD SOME IMPORTANT SHIT TO GET DONE AND THEN SOME CLUELESS LOBELEAKER TRIED BARGING IN AND DEMANDING TO BE CAUGHT UP TO SPEED, I'D BE PRETTY FED UP WITH THAT MYSELF. AS THOUGH SOMEHOW YOU SHOULD ALL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS IGNORANCE, RIGHT? MAYBE THERE'S A REASON NO ONE BROUGHT HIM INTO THE LOOP, NOT THAT HE EVER STOPPED TO CONSIDER HOW IT MIGHT AFFECT YOU.

SO YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT LAUNCH INTO SOME SORT OF SELF-IMPORTANT SCREED THAT WOULD BE MORE ACCURATELY CHARACTERIZED AS A SHITFIT, DEMANDING INFORMATION AS THOUGH THEY'RE ENTITLED TO IT AND FLINGING CAUSTIC REMARKS AND OBSCENITIES AT ANYONE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO GET IN TYPING RANGE, BUT NOT ME.

I'LL JUST BE OVER HERE WAITING PATIENTLY, STARING AROUND ME IN SLACK JAWED WONDER LIKE A CONTENT AND EXTREMELY CORDIAL BARKBEAST, WELL AWARE OF HIS OWN RELATIVE LACK OF SIGNIFICANCE IN THIS AND ALL UNIVERSES AND TOTALLY AT PEACE WITH IT. SERIOUSLY, I'M BOGGLING AT THESE DEVELOPMENTS BUT ALSO WISED UP TO THE TRUTH THAT THIS IS MERELY ONE OF MANY THINGS I AM NOT QUALIFIED TO EITHER CONTRIBUTE TO OR UNDERSTAND.

OH, BUT, AND THIS IS A SUPER, SUPER LOW PRIORITY, JUST IF YOU HAVE A SPARE MOMENT AND YOU AREN'T TOO TIRED FROM HUMANING ALL DAY, WOULD SOMEONE MIND JUST LETTING ME KNOW: WHAT THE FUCK?

THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!

Comments

[bloodpressured]

YEAH, YEAH, OKAY, I GET IT.
IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS A SURPRISE TO ME!
I KNOW MY SCREECHTUBE CONTAINS A MAJESTIC HUMILIATION RIVER WHICH BUBBLES OUT OF MY SCREAMHOLE LIKE A BULLSHIT WATERFALL.
I'VE YET TO LEARN HOW TO STOP IT.
I WOULD IF I COULD.

[glowsferatu]

part of it is the difference between saying you might like to and making the conscious effort to try
you wont achieve anything without at least making the attempt
and maybe it wont be easy and it will take a great deal of time and work to form the new habit
but in the end it will do you the favor of communicating that you actually give a damn about the person

which is also to say that you neednt necessarily practice against people you dont give a damn about
should you meet a clown along the road by all means kick him in key sensitive areas

[bloodpressured]

DAMN.
YOUR POINT IS DEFINITELY TAKEN. I WILL MAKE AN EFFORT, UNLESS THE SUBJECT OF THAT EFFORT IS A CLOWN. THAT'S FAIR.
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T WANT TO FUCK THINGS UP FOR YOU AND I FEEL LIKE SHIT ABOUT IT?
NOT THAT THAT CHANGES THAT I FUCKED UP.

[glowsferatu]

knew one wasnt sure about the other
but i suppose you wouldnt be acting so defensively if you didnt

honestly id rather focus on clowns at the moment
because they honestly are the exception to every rule of etiquette that has ever been written
everyone should by all means treat a clown like shit without feeling even an ounce of remorse
knowing in ones heart that they almost certainly earned it somewhere along the way

[bloodpressured]

...YEAH.
I CAN AGREE WITH THAT.
A UNIVERSAL FUCK YOU WITH A CORRODED HONK HORN TO EACH AND EVERY CLOWN, EVERYWHERE, ACROSS ALL UNIVERSES.
FROM WHAT I CAN TELL THEY AREN'T ANY BETTER ON EARTH.

[glowsferatu]

that you would type this without any uncertainty or hesitation is probably the best endorsement i could possibly read for your timeline

[bloodpressured]

DO I WANT TO ASK?
I PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO ASK.
BUT IF IN YOUR TIMELINE I AM WHAT SOME MIGHT TERM "DOWN WITH THE CLOWN" I PROBABLY DESERVE YOU DROPPING THAT PARTICULAR STALE FAYGO-SCENTED STARDUST BOMB ON ME.

[glowsferatu]

for the sake of sparing you certain inconvenient truths about an alternate iteration
and for sparing me what will certainly be a litany of disparaging remarks towards someone i care for deeply
i dont think ill answer actually

[bloodpressured]

[She's probably right about that, and is certainly right about the disparaging remarks, but he doesn't get it. Oh, sure, he doesn't get critical information about himself because some random guy who is probably a stranger he has never even met might get disparaged? Wow.]

YEAH, OKAY. IF YOU FEEL THAT STRONGLY.
I ALREADY SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW.
IF THERE'S SOME VERSION OF ME OUT THERE WHO HAS NOW BECOME THE EMPEROR OF JUGGALOS ACROSS ALL UNIVERSES,
OR IF IN THAT TIMELINE I RAN OUT OF DANE COOK MASTERPIECES TO VIEW AND WAS FORCED TO TURN TO A HIGHER CLOWN POWER TO FIND THE WILL TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING
I CAN SEE HOW THAT WOULDN'T BE ANY OF MY BUSINESS, YEAH.

SO, UH. I GUESS YOU MUST KNOW A LOT OF HUMANS BY NOW.
HUMANS EVERYWHERE THE EYE CAN SEE.
HOW'S THAT.

[glowsferatu]

[ Karkat, that random stranger was you. She thought that was obvious from the context, especially with an alternate version of himself being the person he's most likely to disparage. ]

it can be pretty awful
worse as our numbers dwindle
but theyre higher now than they have been since we came to this world
either way it can be tempting at times to sort of
i dont know overcompensate how alternian i am
just to make sure they realize how strange the experience must be for me
its far too inconvenient for them to recognize on their own

[bloodpressured]

[It was obvious from context, or would be for someone with any self-awareness. Instead, we can switch to a favorite pastime, bitching about humans.]

YEAH. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN.
WELL, NOT EXACTLY, I ONLY KNOW FOUR HUMANS,
BUT I ALSO WASTED A LOT MORE TIME HAVING POINTLESS CONVERSATIONS WITH THEM.
BUT MOST OF THE ONES I'VE ALREADY EXCHANGED WORDS HERE WITH HAVE DONE EXACTLY THAT.
AT LEAST DAVE AND ROSE EVENTUALLY FIGURED IT OUT.
IT'S WEIRD HAVING TO SCHOOLFEED THE MOST BASIC KNOWLEDGE TURDS ALL OVER AGAIN.
HAHA, THE WORD YOU JUST USED IS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE I WOULD HAVE USED!
IMAGINE FUCKING THAT!

[glowsferatu]

more time from your perspective perhaps
ive wasted plenty on pointless conversations at this point
the splendor eroded away long ago
i really dont want to have to explain to every random tomnus diktor and harmny how alternians reproduce or measure time or structure their society just because theyre enthralled with the sheer novelty of a culture that isnt their own
its even more egregious when you come to understand that not all human cultures are entirely homogeneous and realize they must act like this among their own as well
a coddled society like this one is too easily encouraged to ask stupid questions

[bloodpressured]

RIGHT?
IT'S LIKE, OH, HEY, YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
SINCE MY CIVILIZATION IS TOO PRIMITIVE TO DEVELOP SPACE TRAVEL, I'VE SAVED UP A LIFETIME OF CURIOSITY AND INABILITY TO COMPREHEND MINUTE CULTURAL DIFFERENCES JUST TO PROJECTILE VOMIT THEM ALL OVER YOU.

[glowsferatu]

you have to be sure to set the boundaries early for them
if they think youll humor every small-minded question they ask then they will never stop asking them

[bloodpressured]

DAMN. YEAH.
I'M TRYING THIS NEW THING WHERE I'M NOT A COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE ALL OF THE TIME,
AND INSTEAD AM ONLY AN ASSHOLE TO MOST PEOPLE A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF THE TIME.
BUT I DIDN'T CONSIDER THIS ISSUE.
I'M ON THE HOOK NOW.
I'M THE GUY WHO WILL EXPLAIN TO YOU ABOUT WHIMSICAL ALIEN FACTS.
SHIT. WHO KNEW YELLING AT EVERYONE RIGHT AWAY HAS ITS UTILITIES.

[glowsferatu]

i think theres room to balance between the two
depending on whether you know if someone actually cares about the circumstances you came from or if theyre simply enamored of the curiosity that you are
generally i would recommend avoiding any conversations on the subject during ones initial meeting
if its the first thing anyone wants to know about you then they discount your existence as a person beyond those cultural distinctions
those probably dont deserve to learn