maskormenace | First Calibration

First Calibration | [VIDEO]

[The feed introduces us to a face that isn't unlike a nightmare chicken dinosaur hybrid with a bunch of sharp teeth and weird mandibles that occasionally flare as he talks. It's super attractive, everyone, really.]

So, this is Earth, huh?

I expected it to look a bit more... I dunno. On fire. Long story, but just for the record, I'm thankful that isn’t the case.

[He pauses for a moment, clearly on edge despite the lackadaisical tone to his voice. Someone isn't happy to be here, but hey, at least he's doing his best to be somewhat diplomatic about it. For now.]

Do I have to do the whole 'we come in peace' thing I've seen in some of your human vids, or will you all believe me if I say I'm not psychotic? Maybe I should throw in some wacky catchphrase you all seem to love so much.

[Another pause, probably for dramatic effect, but who knows with this jerk.]

In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m one of the new imPorts or whatever name you give people taken against their will. Name’s Garrus. You’re not going to get much else.

So, now that I’ve gone through the whole initiation process, what I want to know is what’s this nonsense I’m hearing about a group called Archangel causing trouble. Just a brief summary, and not what I’m hearing here and there.

Sound fair? Good. Let’s chat.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You say that like you'd expect me to back down. [ A touch of a laugh. ]

I mean, I know you're a badass and all, but hey, I think I get to wave badass cred around now too, since I survived a near-brain injury.

[ Which sounds cooler and less braggy than "hey I'm a spectre too now look at how cool I am". ]

I'm beginning to think that's become an official stepping stone into badassery.

[He says as he unconsciously pokes at his own manly scar]

So I take it you were the one who got attacked by the Cerberus spy, and not Williams.

Ah --

[ Williams. That makes a lot of sense. ]

She got attacked too? By...the doctor? The one EDI took afterward? She's...all right?

Yeah, she was fine after some bedrest and a visit to Huerta Memorial.

You're both way tougher than you look, and that's saying a lot.

Lucky her. [ A scoff. ] I had a couple of brain surgeries they had to look at -- biotics and everything.

[ There's a pause. ]

Did she... uh -- [ Now he's just curious, but he doesn't know how to ask it. ] She's alright, yeah? Did she end up signing back on with the Normandy?

Yeah, she's all right. She's working with us, even if it was a little touch and go at the beginning-- wasn't around to see that part, so all my info is second hand.

She's a Spectre now. We're all very impressed.

Oh.

[ There's a long pause, like he's staring open-mouthed. ]

Wow. That's great -- for her, I mean.

You ever hear something that makes you feel like someone has lived parts of your life? Or am I living parts of hers? [ A scoff. ]

This stuff gets too weird sometimes.

Can't say I have, but at the same time, I'm not exactly in the same position you are.

You all right? With the whole stuff getting weird situation?

Well, uh -- I mean, it's -- I'm used to it, I guess.

It's just, everyone else I've heard it from hasn't been that close? And they don't know anything about the Spectres, or the injury, or anything like that. [ A beat. ] Ash didn't... hook up with anyone, like, uh Shepard, or anyone else, did she?

I'm looking for places where we split, I guess you could say.

Nah. She and Shepard are close, but they're not, you know, close.

]WAIT.]

Hold on... are you... and Shepard...?

Edited (SHEAPARD....) 2015-07-24 21:36 (UTC)

[There's a long pause, he hadn't realized that he'd stepped into that one so easily. ]

Oh, uh, yeah, I'm -- I mean, we're kind of --

You didn't finish your question, so I might be reading what you're asking wrong.

[ Smooth. ]

You know.

Uh.

Close.

[ He has the decency to look down, and away. And clear his throat. ]

Well, I, uh, yeah. You could say that.

[ He didn't want to talk about this!! ]

[NEITHER DOES GARRUS.]

[BUT HE HAS WORD VOMIT SYNDROME.]

Oh. Uh. Well.

...Congratulations?

[He may have gotten a bit high pitched at the end of that there question.]

It's uhh... not exactly a congratulatory sit --

[ Finally, he realizes that it's weird. ]

Uh, you okay? I mean, other than all the wild stuff happening?

[OH GOOD SUBJECT CHANGE THANK YOU KAIDAN YOU ARE A SHINING STAR]

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Still getting settled. Gotta find a food source, get used to turning into metal, you know, the usual.

[Except not really.]

Oh, I didn't even think about that, they didn't give you a human body? Sometimes that happens.

I mean, we didn't exactly have much in terms of dextro friendly fare on earth back home -- at least not commonplace food. I can't imagine there's anything here, are you going to... have someone manufacture something?

[ Kaidan Alenko. Helpful. ]

I didn't even know that was an option.

[Wait.]

I mean both being turned into a human and having food made just for me. I know I'm special and all, but I'm not that special.

Well, it's not like you can pick the power thing, but...

I mean, what else can you do, if you don't have someone make something? Just eat the mildest of it and hope for the best?

[ Poor, poor Garrus. ]

Or are you just going to have to invent a whole new cuisine?

You don't want me to try inventing food.

I'll just, uh, figure something out, I guess.

Are you sure? I mean...Shepard and I know some people, we could probably...

We could find someone who might be able to help. There are some serious brains around here, there's gotta be something they can manufacture.

As long as it's not any trouble.

I'm sure you've all got enough on your plate without worrying about me grabbing a snack.

[ He actually scrunches up his face. ]

Not so much that I can't help out a friend. You're a part of the Normandy, Garrus. I'm pretty sure we're the closest thing we're all going to get to family out here. Shouldn't we be looking out for each other?

[ Says the guy who told someone that Jacob Taylor was a terrorist......... ]

Family, yeah...

[It's one of those things that never quite went said, but has always been felt among the members of that one particular crew. Never in his time with the turian military, or even at C-Sec did Garrus ever work in that kind of atmosphere-- not that it really felt like work.]

Let me know if you find anything, but don't sweat it if you don't. I'll be doing some research, too.

[ It's odd, he's never said it either, but being here? He's starting to feel it now, how it's true. ]

I'll ask around, okay? Hopefully...we won't have a starving Turian here in a day or so.

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