Capsule 002 💊 (Video)

[rassera]

[Good morning Nonah/Heropa/De Chima/etc. residents. Hope you've been enjoying it, because you'll need something to buffer here. Kaneda's already outside, lounging on his bike with his feet kicked up, hands behind his head and looking at the sky. Kaneda, you couldn't look more bored if you tried.]

So I guess I'm supposed to give you guys traffic updates or something. And you know me--I've got a burning desire to be an upstanding citizen.

[He turns his communicator about 30 degrees to the left, showing a patch of empty road that his bike was parked next to. Insert the cliche tumbleweed for some added aesthetic.]

Whooooooo-oooo! Brutal out there, guys! Stay safe!

[Okay, even he can't hide his smirk anymore.]

Comments

[rassera]

Thanks so much, Mister.

Fuck you.

[In the most innocent voice ever, too. You two rapscallions~]

[nostalgiabomb]

In your dreams, kiddo. There's an age and height requirement.

[rassera]

Wow, I'm gonna throw up.



You're gonna have a hard time finding fellow 80 year olds, you know.

[nostalgiabomb]

Nah, not really. I already know a guy who's at least pushing a century.

[ Lookin at you, Charles Fillibuster Maxwell XXIII. ]

[rassera]

...A Century.

[WOW DON'T BANG HIS TECHNICAL LEGAL GUARDIAN UGH GROSS]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ tell that to your other house-dad with the eyepatch, canada ]

Yeah. Close to it -- eighty, like you said.

[ He makes a noncommittal noise. You know, because being almost as old as the automobile is totes normal. ]

And there's some asshole who's claiming to be Lucifer hanging around, so that guy's gotta be, like, at least as old as dirt, if he's telling the truth and not just some psycopath.

Still banking on psychopath, though.

[rassera]

[gross gross gross gross he hopes you think about your own parents doing it. In detail.]

...Wait, you get those weirdos too?

Some guy claimed to be a god to me too.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ MY MOM IS DEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAD. ]

--Seriously? Like, here? 'Cause I've run into guys claiming to be a god, but they tend to be on dirty street corners, holding cardboard signs.

[rassera]

[TAKE A NUMBER!!!]

Ah, yeah. He was like "I am the mythology" or something.

Kept calling me 'mortal' too. Weird, right?

[nostalgiabomb]

Weird. Was he wearing a sandwich board, too? And did it say, "The End is Nigh"?

[rassera]

Make it a hell of a lot funnier!

But no, he was pretty serious on it. Weirdos, right?

[nostalgiabomb]

Was he, like, the god of something? Dickbags, maybe?

[rassera]

He didn't say, but he had the attitude of one!



Who just says that crap and expects people to believe it?

[nostalgiabomb]

Pretty sure we answered it already: dickbags.

Dickbags say that shit.

Or crazy people in need of, like, decades of therapy.

[rassera]

You're wiser than you look, old man!

[nostalgiabomb]

Dude.

Don't make me track you down and hit you with my cane.

Because I'll do it. Don't test me.

[rassera]

Oh, I'm scared now!


But I bet I can outrun you.

[nostalgiabomb]

Maybe. Maybe not.

[ he shrugs, then makes a noncommittal noise at the back of his throat. ]

We could always find out.