002. Video

[willinglychanged]

[Have a rather sleep mussed Andrew Warner broadcasting himself to the network guys. His hair in a great state of disarray and he clearly hasn't crawled out of bed just yet if the pillow behind his head is anything to go by. Its early in the afternoon and he should be in work, but he probably should have been in work a lot over the last few weeks but he just stopped going.

There's a wide grin before he starts speaking in a grumbly voice.] Hey super-people! [Yeah he really did just say that. Because he was equal opportunities between superheroes and villains.] So uh, I figure I've been here kinda like a month now? Been a full cycle at least an' I'm havin' a total blast there's just one tiny thing.

[He flops back onto the pillows like he was having a conversation with a good friend rather than an entire country of people.] Where's the fun? I mean there's gotta be bars in this place, clubs, that kinda crap? This wolf has a cravin' for some place up-beat where I can shake what the good lord gave me. Any suggestions would be amazin' and y'never know, maybe we could call it a date?

[Shameless. Utterly shameless. He can't even get drunk but that won't stop him from making an ass of himself on some kind of dancefloor. Give him suggestions, good imPorts far and wide.]

Comments

[willinglychanged]

[He chuckles. Part of him hated to break the illusion but he had to.] Uh-huh. Dead, withered out, kinda like a mummy... once they're done with the sexual energy all they've got left is your life essence.

[textualhealing]

Ugh, gross. I'm too good looking for that. I guess I'll stick to werewolves.

[willinglychanged]

If you ever wanna try one out let me know. [He grins. This guy was straight, sure, but Drew could always put the offer out there.]

[textualhealing]

You're cute, but you're not really my type.

[Holding out for some sexy lady wolves, kthx.]

[willinglychanged]

...damn. [He even makes a low whine of a noise. But the guy called him cute and that was good enough. Even if Drew kind of thought he was everyone's type.]

[textualhealing]

That whining would probably be way more effective against a dog loving friend of mine.

[willinglychanged]

[Drew just shrugs.] Its fine, I'll settle for you thinkin' I'm cute and sign up to bein' your life-shatterin' mistake if it happens.

[textualhealing]

I dunno. If that happened you'd probably be like... fourth on my list. Maybe fifth. I got a few other life-shattering mistakes to get through before you. [Not that he's thought about this before.]

[willinglychanged]

Damn. Usually I rank pretty fuckin' high on the gay mistake list. Y'musta been around the block a couple times dude.

[textualhealing]

I got some pretty close bros. It's only fair they get first dibs on this slice of perfection. Five is a pretty good ranking though.

[willinglychanged]

[He just laughs loudly.] Damn, that's a healthy ego to boot- let's hope y'got somethin' rockin' around down there to back it up... that's if you ever get down to number five.

[textualhealing]

I got plenty to back it up. You should check out last month's Men's Health. They loved me. No dick pics in it though, sorry.

[willinglychanged]

Ain't no point lookin' for it if there ain't dick picks. [Shrug.]

[textualhealing]

Those cost extra. Like you signing up to be one of my clients.

[willinglychanged]

Clients? [He tilts his head to the side.] You a prostitute now, too?

[textualhealing]

[Not even...]

A lawyer.

[willinglychanged]

[He squints and tilts his head to the side.]

I think y'should reconsider prostitution instead, dude.

[textualhealing]

Yeah? I could charge a pretty high rate...

[willinglychanged]

I was thinkin' more 'cause prostitutes usually are a lot cooler than lawyers. [He's a hippy, remember? Law is awful.]

[textualhealing]

So you're saying I'm cool, right? [Clearly the most important fact to take away from all this.]

[willinglychanged]

Well I totally thought y'were cool then you pulled out the whole lawyer card and you're straight and... man, I dunno how I feel any more. [He's such a jerk and shouldn't tease people so gleefully.]

[textualhealing]

Look, I'll admit most lawyers are trust fund jackoffs with literally no concept of cool, but I'm like the shining beacon of light on that dark, douchebro path. You can't discount me for that. Or for loving tits.

[willinglychanged]

[He laughs again, because this guy at least had humour going for him.] Okay fine, I'll accept the whole different kinda lawyer thing. An' I guess y'can't help that you're straight.

[textualhealing]

[Smirkysmirksmirk. At least he knows he's winning if he's got them laughing.]

I've even got a fine taste in alcohol. I'm basically the perfect man.

[willinglychanged]

[Drew's expression turns sour and he lets out an exasperated groan.] Damn man, I get it, you're great... now stop rubbin' it in my face.