maskormenace | 003

[It's video time with Jeff! Why can't he just do text like normal people, you ask? Because then the world wouldn't be able to see his beautiful face, duh. He's at his desk, lounging like a pro with a full glass of scotch held at eye line, managing to look somewhat thoughtful as he keeps his narrowed eyes on the alcohol before him.]

I went home like a month ago. Did one of those away for a day, lived a year things. Kinda makes you wonder what game the Porter's playing with crap like that, some weird ass brand of temptation and torture all in one.

So, real talk here, imPorts... If we all got told they didn't want us any more, that we got 24 hours to decide whether to go home or stay here forever, what would you do? Is what you built up here enough to keep you? Or are you just gonna be counting down the hours to get back and see those you left behind?

Pretty deep stuff, huh?

[He finally looks to the camera, just starting to reach to turn it off, before...]

Oh! And uh, season one of my show is drawing to a close soon. I know you've all been watching it avidly. Gotta start considering my options for next season, so wanna guest star? Got ideas? Wanna be in the crew? Hit me up. Time to make season two even better than the first. [And he's out, with a final, winning smile.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[This. Guy.]

With the sendin' people from here to your place, you could always ask 'em first. Some of 'em might be cool with it. Like if their homes suck and yours doesn't. Easy sell.

[Is beautiful?]

Maybe, yeah. I dunno if the Porter could do that though. Awesome if she could, 'cause there are some worlds I'd totally wanna visit. You got an interesting world?

[No comment.]

Not really. It's just... normal Earth, normal America? Kinda like here. Minus the imPorts and the powers and the whole Russian thing. We did the Russian thing a while ago, everybody's over it pretty much. What about your world?

[:D]

Sounds pretty much the same as yours. Less of the 50s retro feel, no super powers, no current cold war. It's kinda boring compared to this place. I think I'd miss the super powers.

Yeah, the powers are cool. Which of yours would you miss the most?

[Sneaky attempts at finding out what powers Jeff has. Besides gun power.]

Probably the one where I punch every guy named Mike. I'd hate to lose that one.

Edited 2015-09-04 11:14 (UTC)

[A breathy laugh.]

Dick. You're a dick.

[A slow smirk that can be heard in his voice.]

Sure am. What about you? What would you miss?

[Sigh, okay. Mike lowers his voice to a whisper, as if that might keep other people from hearing his message.]

Power to turn into a dog. I get a lot of free shit when I'm a dog.

A dog?! [Said in a volume way above standard conversational levels because he's actually the most mature.

And then he's back to normal volume because they moment has passed, the trolling has been made.]

What kind of dog?

Dude. [Mike is starting to see why Jeff wants a security guard. People probably try to do him bodily harm on a regular basis.] Doberman dog.

[Antagonising people is his favourite pastime. One day he's bound to piss off the wrong dude.]

Hey, not bad. Cool dog. I think I'd wanna be like a bear or something.

[Only a matter of time.]

People wouldn't give you free shit if you were a bear.

True. They'd just shoot you. Maybe a cat. Cats get to walk into whatever house they want and people just accept it.

Yeah, cat might be okay. You could hang out on pretty girls' laps.

Make pussy jokes all the time. I dunno if I like cats though. They're assholes.

They are assholes. [Sniff.] Think it'd be a very fittin' animal for you.

[Rude.] You're the one licking your own balls and shitting on lawns.

[Just laughing here. Guilty as charged.]

So, anyway... I've been thinkin' about your offer.

[Pause.]

Yeah?

Sure.

Like. Sure you'll do it? Or sure you were thinking about it?

Sure, I'll do it. But only part-time.

Seriously?! [There's a hint of relief there, maybe even eagerness.]

I can just let you know when I need you, right?

Yeah, I guess we can do it like that.

(no subject)

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