003 | video

[textualhealing]

[It's video time with Jeff! Why can't he just do text like normal people, you ask? Because then the world wouldn't be able to see his beautiful face, duh. He's at his desk, lounging like a pro with a full glass of scotch held at eye line, managing to look somewhat thoughtful as he keeps his narrowed eyes on the alcohol before him.]

I went home like a month ago. Did one of those away for a day, lived a year things. Kinda makes you wonder what game the Porter's playing with crap like that, some weird ass brand of temptation and torture all in one.

So, real talk here, imPorts... If we all got told they didn't want us any more, that we got 24 hours to decide whether to go home or stay here forever, what would you do? Is what you built up here enough to keep you? Or are you just gonna be counting down the hours to get back and see those you left behind?

Pretty deep stuff, huh?

[He finally looks to the camera, just starting to reach to turn it off, before...]

Oh! And uh, season one of my show is drawing to a close soon. I know you've all been watching it avidly. Gotta start considering my options for next season, so wanna guest star? Got ideas? Wanna be in the crew? Hit me up. Time to make season two even better than the first. [And he's out, with a final, winning smile.]

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

I am not quite sure what to think of that analysis.

[A beat, as he realizes he's probably just giving Jeff more ammunition.]

You had other, ah, pairings. I noted.

[textualhealing]

[The analysis is ur gay.]

Loads. But that would be telling. If I start telling you all my favorites then it's gonna be too easy for you to find my fics.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Your fics. Your fiction.

You... Contribute?

[textualhealing]

... Do you not?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I want to find what you have written. Do you write about Will?

You probably do.

[textualhealing]

Good luck trying to find out my fake internet handle, sucker.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I'll look for any variation of "Jeff Winger Is Sexiest" followed by some combination of numbers meant to indicate age decades after your own.

[textualhealing]

That's actually a pretty good call, but no.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I refuse to give up so easily, Mr. Winger.

[Which means scoping through a LOT of imPort fanfic, doesn't it?]

[textualhealing]

[Just as planned!]

Maybe you'll get there eventually. And if you don't? You've read a whole bunch of imPort fic.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I'm still waiting for the implied silver lining.

[textualhealing]

... Entertainment?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well, the ones involving you and Lucifer certainly are. I'll give you that much.

[textualhealing]

I'm sorry, what was that? You wanted me to write some of you and Crane? Weird request, but okay.

[slightlyoffchilt]

No. No. No.

I take it back, all right? I take it back.

[textualhealing]

Ah, dang, too late. I've already made a start.

[slightlyoffchilt]

But it is only a start. You can still repent.

[textualhealing]

Don't worry, I'm not actually gonna write it. [Yaaawn.]

It's already been done before.

[slightlyoffchilt]

A minority opinion is bound to make its way to internet archives.

[textualhealing]

I'll commission a few. Money well spent. You know people actually charge real money for writing this crap? It's insane.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Is that why there are so many featuring you and your abdominal msucles?

[textualhealing]

Nah, those are freebies. I mean, you've seen my abs, they're pretty spectacular. Worthy of their own fic, right?

[slightlyoffchilt]

This is the point where the conversation is so deeply embedded in self-references, we have simply gone too far.

[textualhealing]

Oh, I can go much further with the 'self-references' if you'd rather, Doctor. [He'd self reference you all night long, bb. If Raina was there.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I am somewhat curious to see how far you would go.

[Oooh, Mr. Winger, oooh.]