Audio --> Video

[buildsfriends]

I AM ON THE RADIO

Deet deet deet, boop boop beep boop. But-tons but-tons...

[The video comes on but it's just a shot of the top half of his helmet and the sky above because he's holding his comm like a walkie-talkie.

He puts on a 'authoritative' voice.] Hello. Yes. This is Captain General Fourth Class Caboose. I need you to deliver to me at least fourteen new friends, stat. ASAP, and...BYOB. NASDAQ. Over and out and in, amen.








[...the video continues with just a shot of his armored foot on a grubby sidewalk and his voice further off.]

OH MY GOD FRECKLES LOOK! An outside party!

[A grating mechanical voice answers:] Hostiles detected.

Comments

[scleras]

Oh? That's amazing. I've never met anyone from the moon.

[buildsfriends]

Yeah we don't get out a lot.

Where are you from?!

[scleras]

Tokyo, Japan. We're big fans of the moon there.

[buildsfriends]

Oh man I never heard of that. Must not be really famous.

EVERYBODY is a fan of the moon though so that sounds about right. You can go to the moon and buy souvenirs like coffee mugs and keychains... [so what he's saying is that the moon is a shitty little truck stop]

[scleras]

It's a pretty small place in the grand scheme of things.

I wasn't aware of all that. You'll have to show me someday. We can go as friends.

[He's completely bullshitting, but at least Caboose's responses are cute.]

[buildsfriends]

You can come to my old house! I have seventeen sisters! And we can make you moonbread!

[scleras]

Seventeen! And no brothers? What a busy family.

[buildsfriends]

Yeah. I left pretty quick and I went to get into school? And then they put me on a plane and made me run a lot and carry stuff and shoot guns. [basic it was basic training this idiot signed up for the military] I thought it was pretty weird for school, but the universe is a pretty dangerous place so it makes sense. [it literally does not] But then I graduated and now so I'm here, and I have my diploma and I'm gonna get a great job and have a great future. [kid ur thirty

ur future is now]

[scleras]

It sounds like you have a great skill set. I'm sure plenty of people here will be looking to hire you.

[Only because they have to.]

And if you aren't able to find anything, I might be able to use an errand boy in the future.

[buildsfriends]

NO THANKS. I'm a man, I can't be a boy again. [plus he already has a job but obviously not the important part]

[scleras]

Are you sure?

Well, I suppose you're right. If I have a spot available for a man, I'll let you know.

[buildsfriends]

Thanks Udon, that's super great of you! If I become homeless I'll ask you for a man's job.

[scleras]

[Udon...]

It seems like you have other good friends willing to help you out too.

[buildsfriends]

[he got one letter out of three right man that's a pretty good ratio for him on a first try] Nah I'm usually saving them. [that iS A LIE] I mean they help sometimes but...Tucker especially. Always in trouble.

[scleras]

Sounds like a mess. Good thing they have someone like you around.

Do you think you'll be staying with them here? To keep them in line?

[buildsfriends]

Yup! Yeah, I move around a lot? Usually with the regular people though, but sometimes the Reds aren't around like now, and sometimes Tucker goes into the desert for no reason [no the reason was relocation orders] and Church leaves a lot but I usually find them later. Or they find me and then we're together again. Sometimes you just have to sit still and wait.

[scleras]

That's exactly right.

I also have friends who tend to get themselves into trouble.

[buildsfriends]

Man, I just- I know exactly what you mean. But it always turns out pretty fun.

Do you have lots of adventures? Oh, and stories? I love stories.

[scleras]

Hm... I don't know if any of my stories would interest you. I'm just an artist who does mask commissions. That's pretty boring compared to being a soldier.

[buildsfriends]

I PAINTED SOMETHING TODAY! You should come painting also! [Caboose manages to point the camera of his comm over at the graffiti on the wall, which had clearly begun to spell the words FUCK THE POLI until Caboose took over and covered it in flowers and tanks and what might be Godzilla in aqua space armor.] It's pretty fun.

[scleras]

You did that? I'm very impressed. You're quite talented.

Unfortunately my work is keeping me here right now.

[buildsfriends]

That is pretty boring. [wow] But such is life. [nno? no] Until you quit your job, then I guess it's something different.

[scleras]

I do plan on switching jobs eventually! [To the one he's pretending he already has here right now...] But I need money for that first. You know how it goes.

[buildsfriends]

Oh! You can probably make money if you kill somebody! That's how Tex made a lot of her money!

[scleras]

Hmm? Was she a mercenary?