Audio --> Video

[buildsfriends]

I AM ON THE RADIO

Deet deet deet, boop boop beep boop. But-tons but-tons...

[The video comes on but it's just a shot of the top half of his helmet and the sky above because he's holding his comm like a walkie-talkie.

He puts on a 'authoritative' voice.] Hello. Yes. This is Captain General Fourth Class Caboose. I need you to deliver to me at least fourteen new friends, stat. ASAP, and...BYOB. NASDAQ. Over and out and in, amen.








[...the video continues with just a shot of his armored foot on a grubby sidewalk and his voice further off.]

OH MY GOD FRECKLES LOOK! An outside party!

[A grating mechanical voice answers:] Hostiles detected.

Comments

[worstever]

[HE GUESSES HE SHOULD EXPLAIN HIMSELF...]

He is, genuinely, a captain, but believe me, not under my authority.

[darwinatrix]

I'm finding it hard to believe he's under anyone's authority at all. How didn't he wash out?

[worstever]

Project Freelancer used some soldiers as glorified props for testing grounds. Caboose was one of them.

[He sounds a little chagrined about this, though.]

[darwinatrix]

...are you telling me that this idiot was meant to be used for target practice?

[worstever]

Something like that. But he's part of my team now. I know he may not seem like it, but he does have useful skills.

[Vastly overselling Caboose's robot whisperer thing, here.]

[darwinatrix]

Such as?

[buildsfriends]

THROWING SURPRISE PARTIES AND MAKING PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES

[darwinatrix]

Shut up. I'm talking to the marginally more competent ones now.

Go in the corner and play with your toys.

[buildsfriends]

OKAY

[see armstrong you got it already]

[worstever]

Robotics, primarily.

... That, and he's insanely strong.

[darwinatrix]

Dumb muscle, hm? How do you keep him under control?

[worstever]

Mostly? I just don't bank on him doing anything that needs finesse.

We're with a pretty ragtag outfit back home. They need every warm body they can get.

[fuckai]

Tell the idiot to help anyone you need dead. That usually does it.

[A+ contribution, Church.]

[fuckai]

WHAT?

[Someone's forgotten that they've apparently decided that he should be pretending he knows this shit.]

[worstever]

I really don't know how well I can explain how that happened.

[fuckai]

You can start with the fact that Caboose is a fucking CAPTAIN?!

[worstever]

We became well-known after the whole Freelancer debacle.

We crash-landed on a planet in need, and they thought celebrities known for stopping large-scale corruption were the men for the job.

[fuckai]

[..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................]

YOU BECAME CELEBRITIES FOR THAT?!

[HE FUCKING DIED FOR YOU TO BECOME THE NEXT BRAD PITT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK]

[worstever]

[Wash clicks down the volume on his comm...]

The word they kept using was "heroes", but that seemed a little far from the mark for me.

[fuckai]

[Volume control only works so well, Wash]

Oh bullshit, BULLSHIT! I DIDN'T FUCKING DO THAT SHIT SO YOU ASSHOLES COULD--

[UTTER. SILENCE.

Someone blew a gasket.

Or set off an EMP, but. Same thing, really.]

action;

[worstever]

[SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIGH.

A responsible person would go make sure Church isn't dead, right.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Wash wanders down the hall, knocking on his room.]

...

Church?

[bestsword]

Wait, celebrities? Seriously?

[Wash you also forgot to mention the whole 'crash landed' part when you told him you guys worked together. This is sounding waaaay more than just a 'single job' story like you said.]

So please tell me I get a lot of women before we crash. It is really important to me that I know this.

[worstever]

[As though that wasn't a calculated risk. Wash knows how weird their history is, and how many coincidences led to them being even vaguely close. Explaining it would be futile, and, frankly, unbelievable -- not a great way to get a guy to trust you.]

I'm going to guess no, you didn't, since you didn't tell anyone about it repeatedly at the top of your lungs.

[bestsword]

[He considers that... And honestly he's right, there's no other way that would've turned out.]

Meh, fair enough.

So.

[Important matters at hand.]

Sounding a little less like "we happened to be sent on the same mission to this planet" and more like we were already working together from something else. How about that.

PRIVATE;

[worstever]

[Caught red-handed.]

... I thought you might react badly to a Freelancer telling you that we're supposed to be friends.

[He struggles a little with what to call them, but friends seems -- well, not wrong.]