[Video]

[inchesofevil]

[Duncan looks like a perfectly ordinary Earth dude, if you ignore the fact that he's dressed in some fancy looking leather armour that makes him look like he walked straight out of a fantasy MMO. Mostly what's visible is the gold mantle of his cape and a black hood, both trimmed with white. He's got the hood pulled up, but it doesn't hide his face. Behind him, you can see the obvious decor of a bar.]

So, I would be doing this over text, but apparently good keyboard layouts and slide-out keyboard phones haven't been invented yet and this is too fucking urgent for me to have the patience for that shit.

[deep breath, intense look into the camera]

How the fuck are you supposed to get drunk with a healing factor in the way?

I timed it. I fucking timed it! Three shots, completely sober in five minutes. [he holds up five fingers to emphasize that] Five minutes! That's fucking ridiculous! How am I supposed to live like this?!

[With a frustrated groan, he sets the phone down against the table; the picture goes black and stays that way for a few seconds.]

[then he lifts it back up and gives the camera a more subdued, resigned look]

Heimdall, by the way. Welcome to here, me, I guess.

Comments

video;

[daimeinashi]

You could always commit a crime and have your powers nullified by the government.

[^_^]

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

[THE HEAVIEST SIGH.

and then wait actually that's kind of useful information]

Wait, they can do that?

Permavid

[governorkang]

I don't think any power is worth that side effect.

[Kang looks horrified.]

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

Right?! At least back home I could--

[wait.

wait, is that a fucking dragon?]

Holy shit, are you a fucking dragon?

[DUNCAN THAT IS RUDE. there's the 'oh, shit' face immediately followed by guilty backpedaling]

Fuck, sorry, I mean, uh-- It's just-- I've never-- I mean, sorry if that's an offensive term or anything...

[dadroid]

...Surely there are other things in life worth living for.

[ Said very, very dryly. ]

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

Are there, though?

Are there really.

[he's...he's joking. probably.]

[grouchinleather]

You don't. Get drunk. Whether or not you live with it, not my problem.

[It's a sad fact of life he's had to live with for as long as he can remember.]

Whatever is going to happen to the bifrost now that you're here?

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

Uuuuuuuuuugh. [That's not what he wanted to hear, man. he is not ok w/this.]

The wh--oh, uh. [he starts to make a joke about it but stops himself before any words get out, realization slowly dawning on his face that MAYBE THAT WAS ACTUALLY A SERIOUS REMARK]

Um. It's just...it's a nickname, I'm not, like, the Heimdall. It's--it's my middle name, actually? I just...use it. On the internet.

[wow now he feels kind of awkward about the fact that his IM username was always "Bridge to Asgard"...]

[ voice ]

[disorder_heaven]

[ Off-camera, Urushihara's chuckling at his screen. ]

Drink more stuff, harder stuff, and drink it faster.

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

That is the obvious answer, isn't it...

But it is also an expensive one...

video.

[tardily]

You realize that healing factors have that drawback that no one ever tells you about. [ He's maybe a little bitter. A lot bitter. He misses drinking and getting drunk just a little, just because you never know what you have until you don't have it. ]

Five minutes is better than some people's time they can manage.

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

[SIGH.] Comics never addressed this part of it.

I'm pretty sure it was only five minutes because I shotgunned those three shots.

You have the same problem too, I take it?

permatext

[hypnotherapy]

You humans focus so much on alcohol. Even after all these months, I have yet to understand the appeal.

Surely healing is worth your newfound sobriety?

[ Why do humans drink so much he doesn't get it, etc ]

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

Well there's humans who don't understand the appeal either so... [where was he going with that? he doesn't even know.]

I had healing before, see, is the thing. Except I was in conscious control of it, because it was a system of active healing spells that I could use on anybody, myself included. So I could get drunk and stay that way for a couple hours and then magically detox and it was basically perfect.

But then I got dragged over here and this universe just fucked it all up and now all I have is passive self-healing that I can't control. Not a great trade if you ask me.

video

[quaerit]

[ Heimdall? Really? ]

The barrier to drunkeness aside, you might appreciate it should you ever be in need of healing. It might be worth the tradeoff. I think it would be, anyway.

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

[look they use handles where he's from ok. it's still his name. middle names count.]

But I already had healing! They just took away my ability to control it and use it on other people!

[desequilibre]

[ Leather armour. Urge to get drunk. Of course Athos is here. ]

They don't particularly care for the needs of those they bring here. [ Except they gave him the ability to turn water into wine, and he can drink it, and he can get seriously drunk on the stuff too. So really, he hasn't got much to complain about.

He can commiserate though. ] You'll have to turn to other vices, I'm afraid.

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

I'm getting that feeling, yeah.

What other vices even are there? [such a woeful lament. followed immediately by] Don't answer that actually.

audio;

[fuorilegge]

[Thank GOODNESS someone who doesn't type]

That's nothing. You gotta drink until the healing can't keep up with it. Down a buncha bottles if you gotta.

Yanno?

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

[he does, just... qwerty keyboards, why. why do they exist. he's literally never had to use one before. the past sucks, invent dvorak standard phones already 2015.]

Man that is expensive, though.

But I guess...it might be worth doing some science to see where the threshold is.

video

[kanadian]

Uh, if you drink it faster, it might work? I have a really fast metabolism and it --

Anyway, maybe you need more than three shots? Or stronger alcohol.

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

At this rate I'd need twelve to get myself a whole twenty minutes.

Maybe I should just start drinking pure ethanol.

video;

[quantifies]

As a fellow being whose healing Nah-Notek prevents him from consuming alcohol, I recommend that you do not try. It will only result in frustration and increased urination.

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

Nah-No-- Nanotech? [Hell of an accent you got there, friend]

[also, like...how to not be rude about asking someone what they are...]

[fuck it just apologize for being rude up front, that's a good solution]

Hey uh, sorry if this is rude, but what species are you?

[tucky]

Can you cure hangovers? I got healing, but I never tried to cure my own hangover.

... It ain't a bad idea. I'm gonna try it.

[Video]

[inchesofevil]

You never tried, seriously? That was one of the first things I learned when I got healing magic, it's great! You should definitely try it.