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[Duncan looks like a perfectly ordinary Earth dude, if you ignore the fact that he's dressed in some fancy looking leather armour that makes him look like he walked straight out of a fantasy MMO. Mostly what's visible is the gold mantle of his cape and a black hood, both trimmed with white. He's got the hood pulled up, but it doesn't hide his face. Behind him, you can see the obvious decor of a bar.]

So, I would be doing this over text, but apparently good keyboard layouts and slide-out keyboard phones haven't been invented yet and this is too fucking urgent for me to have the patience for that shit.

[deep breath, intense look into the camera]

How the fuck are you supposed to get drunk with a healing factor in the way?

I timed it. I fucking timed it! Three shots, completely sober in five minutes. [he holds up five fingers to emphasize that] Five minutes! That's fucking ridiculous! How am I supposed to live like this?!

[With a frustrated groan, he sets the phone down against the table; the picture goes black and stays that way for a few seconds.]

[then he lifts it back up and gives the camera a more subdued, resigned look]

Heimdall, by the way. Welcome to here, me, I guess.

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You want to defeat death itself.

[ Cold seems to spread across his shoulders. That would be incredible.

But it's not possible, is it? Simple mathematics would tell anyone that. If no one ever died, the world would very quickly be overrun. How could a world of immortals sustain itself? ]

I know - believe me, I know, that you don't want to lose anyone. Nieither do I. But to prevent it, completely. How could Earth cope with that?

I-- [...he does. that is absolutely what he wants to do. the idea's been there, floating around on the corners of his consciousness, for weeks now, but this is the first time it's come together in such a succinct little package of words.]

[He wants to defeat death itself. Yes.] ...I do.

[followed by a pause, and then a nervous, self-conscious laugh]

Wow, that sounds so fucking dramatic. I mean it's not the only answer, I'd be happy if I could just guarantee that nobody ever ends up in the Dark. But...I've never seen any other afterlife, so...the only way I know to guarantee that right now is making sure nobody ever dies.

[he hasn't thought about the long-term repercussions yet either, but honestly it's such a distant concern for him compared to the immediate problem that he doesn't think it warrants consideration yet.] We'll figure it out. Humans adapt, we're good at that.

[ Gansey is here for all of your fucking dramatic needs, honestly. And also for all of your forward-planning, avoidance of unnecessary risk, needs. Really, it seems to him that both are applicable here. ]

Well. It is dramatic, isn’t it? It would be a dramatic change to the way society is structured. People have children, those children grow up and have children of their own. There are issues of, of inheritance, and legacy. And of course, everyone ages, and managing not to die wouldn’t necessarily stop that. Or the myriad of issues that come with it. Illnesses, loss of sight, loss of hearing. What you’re saying is nothing short of dramatic.

[ Gansey does not say the word ‘fucking’. He is not here for any of your arbitrary curse words needs. Though he knows a man who’d be very good at that job, if you’re looking for one. ]

But – when you say the Dark? What does that mean, precisely?

[that's okay, Duncan's got the arbitrary curse word needs nailed the fuck down. they're covered.]

Yeah... Yeah, aging is the big problem, actually. That's...about ninety percent of why resurrection's not a solution. Someone dies of old age, you rez them, something else just gives out eventually, you can't do that shit forever.

[but ending death first, that's the more immediate problem. everything else can come after, he feels.

and ohh, Gansey, the Dark is a can of worms you may not want to open.]

The Dark is...

[long pause. he spends a minute fidgeting, shifting between various configurations of leaning on his arms on the counter. chin in hand, arms folded, hand over his mouth, etc. not a comfortable subject, obviously, and something he's tried to explain many a time only to hit a wall of understanding with anybody who hasn't experienced it first hand.

eventually, he settles, resting heavy on his elbows, arms folded and locked.]

It's where souls go when people die. And it's...exactly what it sounds like, but it's also way more than that. It's too dark. It's too quiet. It's too cold. It feels empty but it's not, but you'll wish it was, because knowing you're alone in the Dark is a hell of a lot better than knowing you're not...

[There is a long pause, his eyes distant, like he's staring off into a troubling memory.]

I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Even the worst humanity has to offer doesn't deserve that eternity.

[ Gansey doesn't answer right away. His face is troubled, though. He's thinking of those first nights in Monmouth, when he'd lived there alone and been kept awake by the thought of the enormous, empty lower factory floor beneath him. He's thinking of falling into Cabeswater's pit and imagining that there were hornets all around.

He's thinking of when hornets had been everywhere, and his heart had stopped, and everything had been -

Dark. Of course. ]

No. No, neither would I.

[ That's the truth. That's the awful, shuddering truth. He doesn't want anyone to die, either.

But does that mean this is right? That Heimdall is right? ]

But it's a whole planet. It's billions of lives.

No, actually, it's more. Because it's billions of planets, on parallel worlds, and they're all growing older every second. Time brings death along with it. Unless you can stop that, how could you save everyone? Especially to give them a life worth living, and not one full of pain.

[He waits anxiously while Gansey processes. Truthfully, Duncan's expecting a response like 'that doesn't sound so bad' or 'does that really warrant such a drastic response?' So he's visibly relieved and grateful when what he gets instead is agreement.]

[The point Gansey raises gets a dull look. He hasn't tried to scale the problem. Having the scale pointed out to him makes it feel overwhelming and hopeless. How can he solve all of that, how can he even start?]

Then...

Then maybe that's just what I'll have to do.

[wow, ok, no. even he can tell how crazy 'well maybe i WILL just stop time' sounds, that's straight up anime villain talk right there.

he winces, as if recoiling from his own words, regret clear on his face.]

That's not what I meant. [it was totally what he meant.] I meant, maybe there's a way for people to exist outside of linear time.

But...I think that's a harder problem to solve. I'd like to focus on solving step one, and then worry about scaling up.

[ Well, thank God he pulled that one back again, because Gansey's alarm had been evident. He's still worried now, honestly,but he's pulled that emotion back behind a mask of calm. He's doing his best to be logical and reasonable about an issue that's absolutely emotive to him. It isn't easy. ]

All right.

All right, then. What is your step one?

[ Keep it small, and he'll be able to manage it. He hopes. ]

Saving one person, two? Saving a community? Where are you drawing the line of success, for that first step?

[He's right to still be worried. Now that the idea is in Duncan's head, all he needs is the right motivation--the right desperation--to see that option as a necessary last resort.

Hopefully it never comes to that, though.]

No. I mean, I know I just said to scale it back, but that's thinking too small.

Closing off the Dark is step one.

After that, see what effect it has on the living world and figure out the next step from there. Once I've got it solved and stabilized in Zenderael, then I can worry about the rest of the multiverse and whether it's actually necessary in other worlds.

[ For his part, Gansey is genuinely considering this, and not just as a hypothetical. He spreads his hands, expression thoughtful. ]

All right, so say that you do that. Say that you close off this Dark, so that no one can go there.

Then where do they go? Spirits don't do well if they're left to roam. They forget things, they become strange. [ Gansey isn't just suggesting this. He knows it's the case. He's seen it with his own eyes. ] They become not entirely themselves.

It's a mournful state. For them, as well as us.

Right, ghosts. [They exist. In Zenderael, at least. He doesn't know too much about them in a real life context, just the game stuff, but it does make sense that if he closes the Dark without finding a way to keep people alive, they'll just die and become ghosts.]

[He probably shouldn't say either of the two things he is thinking. That 1) He actually doesn't mind if the alternative to the Dark is wandering the world as a ghost until you forget yourself, because that's still a far cry better than falling into the Denizen's clutches, and 2) He sort of created a necromancy-based guild a couple days ago?? They can probably handle the ghost problem. Probably.]

I'm not sure I can resurrect a ghost. I mean, I've never tried, but every resurrection I've ever done has come through the Dark.

So the answer would have to be either stopping people from dying, or...or tying ghosts back to their bodies. Blackguards can do that, I think, but their guild is... [hesitation for careful phrasing] It's...very new. So even the guild leader doesn't understand the extent of what they can do, yet.

Ghosts are tied to their bodies.

[ Gansey knows that. Noah's ghost had disappeared when his bones had been moved from the ley line. Once replaced, his spirit had returned. There's no doubt in Gansey's mind that there's still a connection. ]

But they're not alive anymore. They've lost something vital. They're not wholly themselves anymore, and over time, that gets worse. It's not how you'd want to spend eternity.

But this raises the problem that if you shut off the Dark, are you sure you could resurrect anyone? And if you couldn't, could these...these Blackguards, do it? What are they, exactly?

No, I mean-- [mm, maybe don't actually say what you mean. undead aren't looked on too kindly by most people. so let's phrase this one carefully.] There's... There's a link, between body and soul, I know that because that's how I find souls in the Dark. But I'm talking about the step after that, putting the soul back into its body and making sure it stays there.

I don't know if I could resurrect people without going through the Dark. If I can find the link then I can do it, but sometimes the link's not there and I don't...know what that means. [he'd been assuming it meant the link had been cut somehow, but maybe it's still there and he just can't feel it because it's not leading into the Dark...? does that mean they became ghosts?]

[he sighs, looking a little frustrated and defeated] Fuck, maybe it is easier to start with the immortality part. I'm just afraid that anything that isn't a blanket effect is going to have people slipping through the cracks.

[ Gansey nods. His expression is thoughtful, and maybe also a touch relieved. It's not because he likes what Heimdall is saying any more than he did before, but because it's on a level that he can connect with now. He always feels better about that. ]

I think that you're right to be wary. I think that's entirely the right reaction, because you don't know how any of this will end.

You have to find out. You have to do your research, and test what you're planning, before you do something that can't be undone. It's life and death. It's not something you can afford to get wrong, Heimdall. Guessing at it isn't enough.

[he leans back in his chair a bit, some of the tension draining from his posture. maybe it's stupid, but that outside reassurance that not knowing what the fuck he should do is okay, is correct, that's a relief to hear.

he knows his own moral compass doesn't always align with the calibrations society's collectively decided on. he's never been sure about how this wanting to end death thing would fall on that scale, how moral people would consider such a goal to be, or whether his thoughts on the matter line up with society's ethics or not.

he knows his moral compass is broken. that doesn't mean he wants it to be. so having even one normal person tell him he's on the right track with this, with any of this, is validating and invaluable.]

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm still working on the research. Don't worry, I'm a grad student, I know how to research my shit. All this is...it's barely even the brainstorming phase.

I'm not sure what progress I can make on that while I'm here though. I was going through the church's library to see what I could find out, and I don't exactly have access to that right now. And--like you said--it's life and death. I'm not exactly keen on testing any hypotheses just yet.

[pause, because he'd been about to match Gansey addressing him by name by doing the same, and then realized he didn't...have it...]

...I can't believe I got this far into this conversation without asking your fucking name. What the hell is my problem.

It's easy enough to get carried away. I'm Gansey.

[ His helpful comm badge identifies him as 'Richard Campell Gansey III', but he leaves off every one of those except the one that matters to him.

Heimdall's reaction has left him more relieved. This still isn't a good plan, and he couldn't be more wary of it, but he's glad it's not happening imminently. ]

I'm interested in what you're doing. More than a little interested. I just want you to take care, too.

Ain't that the fuckin' truth.

[It will never be a good plan tbh, but at least Duncan doesn't intend to move forward with anything until he has enough information to go off of. Wild speculation doesn't get you anywhere good with something like this. Too easy to have things go wrong, and the thing that rules the Dark is not something he wants to fuck around with.]

Honestly, you're the first person who's even been willing to hear me out on this. Everyone else gets to the "death is terrible" part and shuts me down. I mean I get that it's an uncomfortable subject but ignoring problems has never worked out very well for solving them.

[ That isn’t a surprise. Death is not a comfortable topic for Gansey, but it’s fair to say that it’s often on his mind. He shakes his head. ]

For most people it’s an abstract. They know it happens, know it’s coming, but they’ve not seen it, and definitely not felt it.

You might find that’s different here. There are a varied range of experiences. I might have been the first one to hear you out, but I don’t think I’ll be the last.

[same. doesn't like to think about it, but can't stop.]

Yeah, that's...that's exactly it. I think maybe it's something human minds just aren't made to comprehend, and that's why nobody ever connects when I talk about it unless they know it too.

Having that experience, knowing death, it--it changes you. It changes something fundamental about you and I don't even know what it was but I am not the same as I was before I visited the Dark. Once your eyes are open, you can't close them again, you know?

I want to say I'm thankful there are people here who can understand, but knowing that other people have gone through it is fucking horrifying, actually. Nobody should have to experience death.

[ Gansey’s expression is very careful and measured. Someone who knew him well would recognise this as a very public face, a mask that is keeping his real expression from the surface. It changes something fundamental bout you. Of course it does. Gansey has no idea who he would be now if it hadn’t happened. ]

I know. It’s knowledge you don’t want to have, but you can’t ever forget it.

The problem is that everyone does experience it, eventually. The difference is that most aren’t able to tell the tale, but it’s still part of how life is balanced. To change that fundamental, is…well. It’s worldbreaking, potentially. You wouldn’t even know how much you were risking.

That’s why I’m wary. I don’t disagree with the sentiment, by any means.

[Duncan might not know him well, but he does recognize the look of someone who's carefully considering how much to say. It's a look he's worn many times since his first trip into the Dark.]

I know what I'm risking by not doing it. That's enough for me.

[but uhhh he really doesn't want to be sounding like an anime villain here so let's qualify that statement a little]

I mean obviously I want to minimize the fallout because I'm pretty sure I'll only get one shot at this. I think all I really need is someone to reel me back if I start getting tunnel-vision, you know? Someone who'll force me to stop and think through the consequences when I'm in too deep to see them myself.

[guess what he doesn't have back home, though. this is what happens when you keep your crazy life goals a secret from everyone around you!]

[ Gansey nods. That's something he understands, too - the need for other people around you when your quest starts to take over. The need for people to ground you, to balance you when you feel out of kilter.

That's what his friends do for him. He's very lucky to have them. ]

You may need more than one person.

I can promise you one thing, though. If I think you're going too far, I'll tell you so. I don't want to see something like this go wrong. I don't think anyone does.

[and thank goodness that didn't turn Gansey away either. admitting you can get carried away, when it's something this serious? let's just say he's really glad Gansey understands instead of reacting like he's a supervillain in the making.]

Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

Whatever I find out, I'll keep you in the loop.

[it's impossible to reel someone in when you don't know what they're up to, after all.]

[ Maybe it should have turned Gansey away. It’s not very natural for him to walk away from people who say they need something from him, though. Even if it’s something like this. ]

Do.

Just be careful, Heimdall. Don’t do anything that can’t be reversed, as a starting point.

[That is a very good ground rule to start off with.]

You got it, Gansey. On my honour as Vahishta.

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