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[rathercommon]

[ Here's Kitty, wearing a smile and giving a little wave to the camera. ]

Hullo. It's Kitty here. I was just thinking about how it's about time for us to get another wave of new people - and then I remembered how last December, we didn't get any, and then I realized that I've now been here for over a year and that was just mad to think about.

It's easy to focus on all the horrid things that happen to us here. Because there are so many horrid things - that's true. The war with the Soviets is just terrible, and sometimes you just want to take the President by his shoulders and shake him until he stops - and those groups that detest us, they've made things a bit hard at times, as well. [ There's a little sideways twist to her lips as she says that; that's a grotesque understatement from a girl who had quite the history with one of those groups that detest us. ]

But it's always easy to remember the bad above the good. That's how the human brain works, isn't it - it's designed to remember hurts so that it can avoid those hurts in the future, which isn't bad, but which means that we sometimes lose track of the fact that there is so much more kindness than cruelty in the world. So I was just sitting and remembering all the good that's come to me over the past year.

Because this year, in this world, it really has been filled with impossible goodness. When I first came here, I was so scared, but there were people who took me in and helped me and protected me until I got a little more courage. And now here I am. I've made so many friends, amongst them someone I thought was my direst enemy. I saw people whom I'd never done any good for - I saw them forgive me when I was cruel and wicked and spiteful towards them, saw them risk themselves to help me and to save me.

And I've lived amongst the people of this world, who have been so good to me. So good. I've made friends amongst them, too. I've been kept on at work when I really have been the worst employee, when I've been unreliable because of my other obligations. And we've been allowed to speak our minds, speak freely. We've been allowed to travel far and wide. We've been supported in everything we do, which is far more kindness than has ever been extended a group of refugees at any time in any world. We've lived at peace. We've lived well.

So -

[ She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. ]

I'd thought - if I could trouble you all - that we could spend a little bit of time, all together, remembering the good turns that people have done us.

Talk about whomever you'd like. Talk about the people who have been kind and helped us when they didn't have to. Talk about the wealth that is the other people we know here. And I thought we could talk about the natives, too - I was thinking I might put together a little something, a few quotes, that we could pass along to the natives of this world, so that we know that we appreciate them. Let's take some time to overcome our brains, and remember the good - focus on the good and remember how kind the world is to us. How well we live. How strong and brave and honest we can be here.

[ Translation: 'All of this is a somewhat underhanded but well-intentioned PR thing that will let me package some stuff to make the natives less furious at us in an ongoing attempt to avert all-out war between us and this world.' ]

Anyway. There's that, if you can spare some time. Oh, and, erm - come by Krakatoa, while I've got your attention. Best club in town, bar none. And the employees are simply gorgeous.

[ A quick, half-sheepish grin, and then she gives a little nod and waves her way off. ]

Comments

[rathercommon]

[ She's glad that's text; she feels a little twist of sourness at that comment, which she smashes very quickly down. ]

VERY fortunate. I wouldn't have even ever have conceived of the level of kindness I'd see here.

[hisheartsdesire]

[He'd chosen text as to not sound jealous that people granted her kindness in spite of cruelty and spitefulness. He wishes, desperately, his experiences could be similar.

Ah, no point addressing that.]

Anyway, so there weren't any new people last December, then.
And there won't be this one, either? Is that the way it always is?
Does the Porter just decide to take a vacation from taking people out of their worlds?

[rathercommon]

I don't know, honestly! Last year we had a break, but it's not clear that that's something that happens regularly. There haven't been enough cycles of years to establish any sort of pattern. So I suppose we'll have to see.

[hisheartsdesire]

Right.
So, I guess that means there won't be a swear-in event this month.
Anything else that might happen in its stead?
Or are there just going to be so many holiday shindigs that it won't even matter?

[rathercommon]

Hard to say. I can't say I'd be particularly sad if they forwent that rubbish, though.

[hisheartsdesire]

If I hadn't been to every single one since my arrival, I might've disagreed with you.
But even if nothing goes wrong, so to speak, they've been increasingly awkward to say the least.
Not that I'd be in attendance this month anyway.

[rathercommon]

Why not?

[hisheartsdesire]

I'm in prison. Which is fine, it's no one's fault.
I chose this, I turned myself in for mistakes that I made back when I first arrived.
By mistakes, I guess I actually mean the poor decisions I had made.

[rathercommon]

Hold on. What? Since WHEN? For WHAT?!

[hisheartsdesire]

When I first arrived, I was stupid and sired four vampires.
Fledgelings that originally were natives. That's just the way my vampirism works.
Either draining people to death, something I have no stomach for. Or, turning them.
I led a very different way of life back in my world, and it was very hard to acclimatise to things here.
Those here who found out never really let up about it, no matter how I tried to make up for it.
So, more recently, I just took matters into my own hands. Maybe it'll actually mean something now.

[rathercommon]

[ Oh. She has to stop to digest that a moment. ]

Who were they? The people who became vampires.

[hisheartsdesire]

[At first, he'd started to think that perhaps she, too, would give up on him. He's used to that by now, what with Dorian the only one who truly has been standing by him this whole time. And it would've been so conveniently ironic, given the content of her network post.]

Martin, Amanda, Terry, and Natalie.
In that order, all from the Heropa area.

[rathercommon]

What are their lives like now?

[hisheartsdesire]

There is someone who has been taking care of them.
Someone who knows what she is doing.
In our first meeting, she saved Martin.
In time, I told her of Amanda and Terry.
At first, I tried to take care of Natalie. [With Dorian's help.]
When she found out, she felt I wasn't a good role model.
And so, she took Natalie on as well.
I wish I could say I might've been better.
But I really didn't know what I was doing.
I'd been abandoned shortly before being turned.
I don't want others to have the sort of life that I'd had.

[He's quite aware this isn't private, that he can't set the privacy on it even if he'd wanted to, and so it's readable to anyone who sees fit. But he doesn't care anymore; there is no use in hiding anything from anyone at this point.]

[rathercommon]

But...I mean...Are they in pain? Are they all right? What's it like to be a vampire?

[hisheartsdesire]

She has effectively cut me off from the fledgelings.
Though I believe that a life with her is probably better than the solitude I have faced for centuries.
Perhaps they have contact with their families.
When I turned, I discovered there wasn't any way I could return home.
They also have no reflections. Likewise, their images cannot be captured.
They can no longer be in the sun, lest it turn them into ash and dust.
There's no warmth in their bodies unless they feed, and it only stays for so long.
I don't know how well they've taken to it.
Perhaps they hate me, blame me for ruining them.
I wouldn't hold that against them.
And the one taking care of them, I don't blame her for saying I'm better off staying away.

[rathercommon]

Well...Has anyone asked them? How they feel?

[hisheartsdesire]

I'm ashamed to say I do not know.

[rathercommon]

Well, how would you? They were taken away from you. And you don't have any ability to contact them.

[hisheartsdesire]

[Great, now he's trapped in a cycle of asking himself 'what if' questions.]

No, I don't have the ability to and haven't contacted them.
Sometimes I wondered if I should have tried anyway.
Though I would rather not be roundabout in doing so.
If I were in their shoes, I would've been terrified.
The circumstances were different from when I was changed.
I don't doubt their opinions are just as negative as the start.
The one who cares for them as the worst and most poisonous opinion of me, besides.

[rathercommon]

Who is it?

[hisheartsdesire]

I've given enough hints, but I don't think it wise to say openly.
Dorian knows, and I'm certain he would say if you mentioned.
Otherwise, I'm sorry.

[rathercommon]

So why jail?

private.

[glowsferatu]

hi

private.

[rathercommon]

It's you, then? What's your side of the story?