BACKDATED to the 18th; TEXT, comm ID "Spider-Man"

[shutterbugged]

Funny thing is, I spent most of last year counting down to my 5th imPort anniversary, and in the end I missed it by a good month and a half. Guess that's what comes of having a significant life event close to the holidays.

[ Spider-Man red versus Goblin green… totally counts as festive, right? Of course it does. ]

You gotta love the human -- sorry, the sapient -- capacity for adaptation. Forgetting the day of my own kidnapping.

But for the sake of you patient souls who suffered through my existential moping last year -- how many of you are still here, anyway? roll call! -- let's skip it this time and go with an icebreaker for the newbies.

Two truths and a lie. For those of you who come from universes without awkward getting-to-know-you party games, (a) congratulations, (b) it's just what it sounds like. I'll start:

1. I once picked a fight with a swarm of communist bees.
2. I used to have six arms but a giant lizard helped me remove them.
3. My car once tried to murder me.

Take your guesses.

Comments

[exceptfebruary]

Take note. Add to the others. Look for a pattern.



Send a card.

[shutterbugged]

What kind of pattern?

[ Easing off on the hostility a bit because, yeah, he's curious whether this is a Calendar Man thing or an analyzing the Porter thing. Or both. ]

[exceptfebruary]

In the City, the porter often liked to bring in imports on significant dates. Apparently this porter is different. And yet, there are still some whose dates are fitting.

I need to find out more. To compare and contrast.

[ So. Both. ]

[shutterbugged]

Okay, you're not wrong, but I can tell you right now that my imPort date has nothing to do with anything. And if it did, that's not information I'd spread around to all and sundry, and especially not to you, Calendar Man. No offense.

[ Yeah that... kind of made it offensive, Peter. Good job. ]

[exceptfebruary]

But an exception would also be useful data.

Why would you not tell me? I'm the best one to tell. I am the expert here.

[shutterbugged]

Do you honestly, genuinely not understand why I'm not thrilled about the idea of giving calendar-based information to CALENDAR MAN, the CALENDAR-THEMED SUPERVILLAIN? Dude. I'm actually impressed at how badly you're failing to sell this.

[exceptfebruary]

[ Well, now he's mad. ] Are you expecting me to commit a crime on your next anniversary? You are not important enough.

1/2

[shutterbugged]

I don't care if you just want to send me a birthday card, I'm still not interested.

2/3

[shutterbugged]

Who am I kidding, I love birthday cards

3/3

[shutterbugged]

As long as they're just cards with no bombs or poison gas or singing or whatever other deathtrap an enterprising supervillain can attach to a birthday card

I just feel like I should specify this

[exceptfebruary]

I don't do death traps. Or poison gas. Or singing. [ Bombs conspicuously absent from denial. Though he usually doesn't put those in cards. ]

Murder does not interest me.

[shutterbugged]

Collateral damage ain't a big concern, though, amirite?

[exceptfebruary]

Sometimes celebrations leave a mess behind.

[shutterbugged]

Yeah, you're a real charmer.

[exceptfebruary]

[ It's clear that Spider-Man won't give him the date, he's made that very clear. And that last comment was particularly rude. So Julian is going to do the text equivalent of hanging up and isn't going to respond.

But he won't forget, either. ]

[shutterbugged]

[ Has Peter earned the personal emnity of a supervillain? Oh no, whatever shall he do, maybe he should call a superhero for help -- oh wait. ]