maskormenace | Video; open to Action for Nonah #03 residents

Entry tags:

Video; open to Action for Nonah #03 residents

[This is not Rincewind's first attempt at accessing the network. Shamefully, it's not even his fourth attempt, even after all the helpful advice (which he smiled brightly through and nodded at and didn't listen to at all). Obviously he's managed to get the unfamiliar technology to finally work for him though, as that's definitely his sullen face coming across the imPort channels. He's on the floor of his new room, his back against his bed and his arm slung over a large wooden chest. His broad-brimmed hat proclaims him to be a 'Wizzard'.

He is also, quite obviously, very drunk.]

Right. I think we can all agree that this is absolutely mad, right? And not even - not even all these things that are going 'round doing stuff without any sort of magic or tiny imps painting pictures inside them, that's not even what I'm talking about here, that part I could almost like, since it seems somewhat sensible, the principle of it. ...Although it still isn't, is it, because there's apparently all these powers and such, which totally throws that whole thing about being sensible right out the window. And being handed out like meat-pies or something too, with no thought as to who's getting them. M'sure that's not something that's going to blow up in anyone's face, is it? Probably literally, if I had my guess.

...Right, where was I going with this?

[there's a pause as Rincewind casts about for the tenuous line of focus that brought him here in the first place, and which he's sure to be appropriately horrified he followed when he sobers up tomorrow.

Apparently he finds it again, and slaps his hand (the one not currently holding a bottle of wine) on the wooden trunk for emphasis. The chest lifts its lid some, in grumpy protest.] - Heroes! Heroes, that's what I was getting at - this whole business about people being fished out of their own perfectly good - well, okay, mostly good. Somewhat. ...At least familiar worlds, and then being asked to - to - to do what? Be a hero? I've met heroes, you know, quite more than I'd have liked, and do you know what heroes are?

Dangerous, that's what. [firmly.] Dangerous, utterly reckless madmen, that's what heroes are. People who have as much trouble realizing why you shouldn't go barreling into dark caves full of horrible monsters to get the gold, or rescue the girl, as they do recognizing a good thing when they have it. Which is living. ...Which they risk. ...To be heroes.

But you know the most important thing about them? [he continues, fervently] The most important thing about heroes is that - ! Well, it's that - !

...It's that I'm not one.

[Rincewind quiets, and swipes the sleeve of his robe across his nose with a miserable, dry sniff. He frowns, sighs.] Not that it matters, I suppose. Not that it ever matters.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I spent the last couple of millennia trying to escape it, actually. Hell was made just for me, after all, I'm the big kahuna down there.

You'd be surprised how easy it is to escape when you know all the ways out, though.

[a few key phrases catch his attention. "Millenia" is the first, but "Made just for me" doesn't trail far behind.

(He has no idea what "kahuna" means, but as with most things outside of his lexicon, Rincewind just decides it means something unpleasant.)]

Er. I'm not sure we're still talking about the same place. The Hell I know is... well, it was made for demons, as far as I know.

Unless... you... are a demon?

No, I'm an angel. An archangel, actually. The whole demon thing is a mix up--miscommunication, along with the name they gave me to go with it. "Satan"?

[ A pause. ]

I prefer Lucifer, however.

[he looks a little relieved.]

Oh, good. Never heard of you, I'm afraid, but - well, demons are generally rather nasty creatures - no offense to them, of course, I mean you can't really help your nature when it comes right down to it, I get that - but I think you can see where the hesitation in talking to one would be. So what's an angel?

- Oh, and Rincewind is mine. [since it seems they're doing introductions.] Good to meet you, Lucifer.

How can you have Hell and no angels?

[ These worlds are all so weird. ]

Who resides in Heaven, where you're from? I assume you have a Heaven, if you have a Hell.

Well, yes, and it's technically ruled by the gods, of course, but they generally don't hang out there. Most of the respectable ones stay in Dunmanifestin, at the top of Cori Celesti. [he pauses, recognizes that these words might not mean anything to Lucifer, and adds, helpfully:] It's a bloody big mountain.

And, I mean, we might have angel, if they're a sort of minor god or something, I don't know. Theology was never really my study. And we've got thousands of them, anyway, it's hard to keep track. Gods, I mean. Then of course there's Death and the Lady and Fate and such.

Edited 2016-02-08 18:12 (UTC)

[ Lucifer snorts out loud. ] Dunmanifestin? That's...amazing. I love it.

[ He's still chuckling a moment later, when he speaks again. ] Death is a constant no matter what universe it's in. I have him on a leash, of course, in mine.

[the horror on Rincewind's face grows exponentially, the longer he considers this. Death is a constant, yes, and because of that the wizard is rather sure that no matter the world, there is no version of Death that would take well to even any sentence involving him and the word leash.

Angels, he decides - and silently, very silently - are nothing he wants to get involved with.]

Er, is that, ah, I mean - [he's trying hard not to gibber.] Well, you know, that whole thing about - is that one of what they call, ah, your... powers?

[ Oh, Rincewind, that's adorable too. He's just so happy about your whole universe he wants to know everything. So it's such a shame he's given him the heebies. ]

In a manner of speaking. Binding Death is complex magic--and I think you know a thing or two about magic, don't you? I created the spell myself.

Oh, a thing here, a thing there, you know. [vaguely, still reeling at this information. He tries to think of the sort of spell that could actually bind Death. The Rite of AshkEnte comes the closest, it's supposed to summon him and bind him to answer a wizard's questions, but it's Rincewind's understanding that it's more of an inconvenience to the skeletal figure than anything else; half the time he doesn't even bother to stay in the circle.] I know magic uses you as much as you use it.

[which makes the idea of creating - much less using such a powerful spell all the more terrifying.]

...If you don't mind my asking, why exactly would you bind Death himself?

It would be very hard to have an apocalypse without him.

[ He'll perhaps come back to the topic of magic. ]

[Ah. It would be something like that, wouldn't it? Rincewind's mouth curls somewhat bitterly - he takes another drink.]

No, yes, I imagine he'd be first on the guest list. Pestilence and War and Famine not far behind, of course, but let's all admit they still play second fiddle to the man with the scythe.

Well, technically War comes first. But they're all just the pre-game show as far as I'm concerned. The Horsemen do their thing, and then Michael and I have our big prize fight, the Earth gets scorched beyond recognization and bingo bango, bongo, apocalypse.

You seem to get that part, at least.

I don't think there's much there not to get, being the end of the world. S'pretty straightforward. Seen it one shape and you've seen it in a few others, sort of thing.

...I suppose you'd like to see the same happen here too? [because that would be just his luck.]

Not presently--although if you speak to other people they'll convince you that I do. They're very prejudiced toward me.

Well, you know, talk of apocalypses and magic powerful enough to bind Death does tend to make a person nervous. - Not me, of course - [of course] - but that could be the issue. If you were, er, looking for one. You might not be. Which is also fine! I'm certainly not going to assume things.

Well, at least someone sees it as impressive. Frankly, it's been far too long.

[Rincewind gives him a look like he's gone mad.]

How could someone not? The amount of time and creativity it would take - I mean just getting around the various regulations regarding the conservation of reality, or harnessing the amount of thaumic energy a spell like that would need... [his mind reels, and he quiets, just imagining this. How could that not impress someone? More importantly, how could it not scare the pants off them?]

Edited 2016-02-08 21:16 (UTC)

I'm afraid that most of the people here really aren't that aware of magic at all, except as illusions done by aging performers on cruise ships. Real magic is utterly alien to them.

It seems incredible to me. I mean I guess they don't really need it, they have all this... this tech-gnome-agy and such, but it seems very odd. [disconcerting.]

...Isn't magic what these new powers and things essentially boil down to, though?

Pssh, it's nothing in comparison to our magic. Can they travel through time? No. Raise the dead? Walk through another person's dreaming? No. They're not that good.

[he finds it a little relieving to hear that most people here still can't do those things.

He finds it less relieving to hear that Lucifer can.]

...When you say "our", you are referring to these angel sorts again, right?

Mostly. Only archangels like myself can raise the dead, and time travel is restricted to those with the power for it.

[ He's amused. He can all but hear the trepidation. ]

Are there any others here? [you know, while he's concerned about it and they're on the subject.]

And time travel's such a mess anyway, I don't know why people think it's worth doing. You're always bound to mess something up, get involved where you shouldn't. Accidentally kick-start life as you know it with an egg and cress sandwich you drop in a tide pool. [he mutters this bitterly, then quickly tacks on:] Or something. Whatever.

Not presently, but my brother Gabriel, was for a while. You might know him as Loki.

[ You never know. ]

I'm sorry, did you say "sandwich"?

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;