Video; open to Action for Nonah #03 residents

[wizzardly]

[This is not Rincewind's first attempt at accessing the network. Shamefully, it's not even his fourth attempt, even after all the helpful advice (which he smiled brightly through and nodded at and didn't listen to at all). Obviously he's managed to get the unfamiliar technology to finally work for him though, as that's definitely his sullen face coming across the imPort channels. He's on the floor of his new room, his back against his bed and his arm slung over a large wooden chest. His broad-brimmed hat proclaims him to be a 'Wizzard'.

He is also, quite obviously, very drunk.]

Right. I think we can all agree that this is absolutely mad, right? And not even - not even all these things that are going 'round doing stuff without any sort of magic or tiny imps painting pictures inside them, that's not even what I'm talking about here, that part I could almost like, since it seems somewhat sensible, the principle of it. ...Although it still isn't, is it, because there's apparently all these powers and such, which totally throws that whole thing about being sensible right out the window. And being handed out like meat-pies or something too, with no thought as to who's getting them. M'sure that's not something that's going to blow up in anyone's face, is it? Probably literally, if I had my guess.

...Right, where was I going with this?

[there's a pause as Rincewind casts about for the tenuous line of focus that brought him here in the first place, and which he's sure to be appropriately horrified he followed when he sobers up tomorrow.

Apparently he finds it again, and slaps his hand (the one not currently holding a bottle of wine) on the wooden trunk for emphasis. The chest lifts its lid some, in grumpy protest.] - Heroes! Heroes, that's what I was getting at - this whole business about people being fished out of their own perfectly good - well, okay, mostly good. Somewhat. ...At least familiar worlds, and then being asked to - to - to do what? Be a hero? I've met heroes, you know, quite more than I'd have liked, and do you know what heroes are?

Dangerous, that's what. [firmly.] Dangerous, utterly reckless madmen, that's what heroes are. People who have as much trouble realizing why you shouldn't go barreling into dark caves full of horrible monsters to get the gold, or rescue the girl, as they do recognizing a good thing when they have it. Which is living. ...Which they risk. ...To be heroes.

But you know the most important thing about them? [he continues, fervently] The most important thing about heroes is that - ! Well, it's that - !

...It's that I'm not one.

[Rincewind quiets, and swipes the sleeve of his robe across his nose with a miserable, dry sniff. He frowns, sighs.] Not that it matters, I suppose. Not that it ever matters.

Comments

[action]

[lightandglory]

Then surely you can see why we had little choice but to do something about it. [Said matter-of-factly.

And she nods. 'Modern magic' is, as far as she's concerned, entirely accurate.] Yes, electricity, as they call it. It's truly fascinating! To the best of my understanding, it's actually a very clever new application of Thunder magic. They've put lightning into skinny little wires, and created a whole host of contraptions that put it to use! No magic tomes required!

[She claps her hands together excitedly.] Oh, splendid! We shall have a proper tea party! Now, won't that be so much better than wallowing in alcohol and pessimism? Come, let's be off! [She stands, and points dramatically towards the doorway, smiling brightly.] To the kitchen!

[action]

[wizzardly]

...D'you know, I tried to say people could do that, on the Disc. [a little hotly.] I tried to say that there could be better ways than doing magic, and that harnessing lightning could come into it. But oh nooo, can't harness what's just the spears thrown by fighting thunder giants, don't be silly, Rincewind. Ha! I could show them now, couldn't I?

[he pauses, deflates some.]

If... there were anyone from the Disc here. Although I guess there aren't.

[he won't get to wallow in self-pity for long though, if L'Archel's insane enthusiasm has anything to say about it. Rincewind blinks, then wobbles up to his feet.] Oh, er, all right. I'll follow you then. - Come along. [to the Luggage, who tiredly, reluctantly gathers itself up onto its many pink feet and trundles after them.]

[action]

[lightandglory]

The Disc? Is that the name of your world, then? [L'Arachel leads the way to the kitchen, turning her head to talk to Rincewind over her shoulder.] I doubt anyone in my world has ever thought to use Thunder magic for anything other than battle, but I happen to know certain sages who could surely replicate this electricity effect if they only knew about it. ...There's no one else here from Magvel either, you know, but that doesn't mean there won't ever be! Why, people we know could turn up tomorrow! And then we could show them a great many new things! Wouldn't that be wonderful?

[She's apparently oblivious to whatever bitterness he may harbour, and her smile remains as cheerful as ever as they arrive at their destination and she retrieves the kettle from its shelf.]

Here we are. Watch closely now! It's really very simple!

[action]

[wizzardly]

That's right. Is "Magvel" the name of yours?

...And I'm really not sure how I feel about that. People possibly turning up here, I mean. It's probably not very nice to wish getting sucked out of your own dimension on others. And the people I would wish it on aren't the people I'd want to end up here with me. [you know, where they could hurt him.

He watches cautiously from just over her shoulder, since it occurs to Rincewind that L'Archel is probably just as inexperienced at this technology stuff as he is, and that could be rather dangerous when messing with something powered by lightning. Electricity. Whatever.]

[action]

[lightandglory]

Magvel is the continent's name. The world is simply the world, but I suppose it may need its own name now that I know there's more than one! I'll have to discuss it with my uncle upon my return home.

[L'Arachel shakes her head.] Goodness, but you make it sound as though it's some sort of horrible punishment to be brought here! It's really quite a pleasant realm, for the most part. And surely fate has its reasons for bringing in those it chooses to bring. That includes you too, you know!

[While she is completely inexperienced with technology, and wouldn't have the slightest clue how to cook anything, making tea is important. It was one of the first things she had their housemates show her upon her arrival. She's got this. She adds water to the kettle--itself quite a marvelous feat, to simply turn a tap and have clean water at her disposal.]

There. Now all we do is take this, [she holds up the plug,] and fit it into these little holes in the wall! The water will boil, and it will even whistle to let us know when it's ready!

[action]

[wizzardly]

You really don't have a name for it? It's just "the world"? [raaaaising an eyebrow at this as they head to the kitchen.]

It doesn't really matter how nice this place is though, does it? People still get homesick. I'm homesick already and I've only been here a few days. - And don't talk to me about Fate, that bastard has had it out for me for years now and I'm still not sure why.

[he definitely doesn't talk about it like this is an abstract concept, there is a personal vendetta in that tone.

He crosses his arms and watches her at work, eyeing the whole process skeptically. ...But even he can't help but look a little impressed at how quickly everything goes.] And that's it? ...No fire at all? How long will it take?

[action]

[lightandglory]

Yes, that's what I said. Just "the world". [L'Arachel doesn't see what's so odd about that.] To give it a name would imply that there are other worlds from which we need to be able to differentiate it, wouldn't it? But no one knows that there really are other worlds, except for me! And I only found out a month ago!

[Speaking about fate as a person isn't that strange--Joshua was always going on about Lady Luck, even though L'Arachel never once met anyone by that name--but her eyes widen when Rincewind calls fate a bastard. She gasps in appalled shock, covering her mouth with her hand.]

Mind your tongue! What are you thinking, using such language in the presence of a lady?! You--why, if you keep that up, you'll be having tea by yourself!

[She huffs.] ...Well. Regardless of your... opinion of fate, it works in mysterious ways, you know. We may not understand why things happen as they do, but there's always a good reason, and everything will be made clear eventually.

[And she shakes her head.] No fire, and it only takes a few minutes. I told you it was simple!

[action]

[wizzardly]

That's necessarily true. A lot of places make up names for things when they're the only one just so they can use them to curse better. [blandly. Oh, but - apparently she doesn't like cursing. Rincewind makes a tired face at being scolded for his language, but just barely resists rolling his eyes.]

Fine, fine. Although I'll have you know most ladies I've met know even more inventive words than I do. And Fate's ways aren't mysterious where I'm concerned. Where I'm concerned, they're always rather murderous. You leave an awful lot up to positive thinking, you know. Most of the world is just random chaos.

[- oh, but the kettle is whistling.]

[action]

[lightandglory]

Knowing inventive words is not an excuse to use them. Any true lady will tell you that. I'm familiar with quite a few myself, you know, but you shall never catch me debasing my lips and befouling the air with them.

[...Plus she doesn't actually know what most of the curse words she's picked up from her time in the army even mean. Nor does she think she wants to find out.

And she sighs.] Now, don't start that again. It's not random chaos, it's divine providence. There's no point in arguing, because you can't possibly win--I happen to be an expert in such matters.

--Oh, the water's ready! [Just that quickly, she jumps from lecturing back to cheerful smiles.] Now all we have to do is unplug the kettle, and we're ready for tea! The teapot's in that cupboard behind you; be a dear and fetch it, would you?

[action]

[wizzardly]

Since when are witches so concerned with divine providence? As if such a thing exists. [he mutters this last in what he hopes is out of earshot. It's annoying enough that he's sharing the space with a woman who is obviously a hundred times better at magic than he is (if that glow of octarine around her means anything), but now he's being lectured by her on his language and pessimism, too. And here he'd been so enjoying his buzz...

Funnily enough, he does still follow her directions to get the teapot without protest, grabbing two cups while he's at it. He wonders if they have honey.]

[action]

[lightandglory]

[If Rincewind has to be drunk, the least L'Arachel can do is see that he doesn't get to enjoy it. She has to instruct him about the evils of such things somehow.

Fortunately, his muttering is indeed out of earshot, and she only hears the first part of his commentary. He's spared more lecturing for the time being.]

Witches? What are they?

[She takes the teapot from him with thanks, and carefully pours the steaming water into it.] There. I never know how many tea bags to use for a pot, but let's start with two, and we can always add more if we wish! Do you take your tea with anything? Sugar? Milk?

[action]

[wizzardly]

[meanwhile Rincewind is thinking of ways to spike a jug of her juice or something.

The look he's giving her has turned distinctly judgmental. But also confused.] ...You are. There's no point pretending, you know, I am a wizard, I can see the glow of octarine around you. Why would you try to hide it?

And just honey, if you have it. Otherwise plain is fine.

[action]

[lightandglory]

[L'Arachel gives a wave of her hand.] Goodness, what are you going on about? Wizards and octa... whatever it was. Any glow you see about me is undoubtedly just the radiant splendour of my righteousness. If you wish for me to know what you're talking about, you're going to have to use actual words.

[She takes the teapot over to the dining table, continuing to speak over her shoulder.] We have honey! Third cupboard on your left, I believe. The top shelf. Oh, and bring the teacups with you, too!

[action]

[wizzardly]

...Wizards. Learned men who do magic? Octarine, the color of magic? [a little imploring. He can forgive her not know the name of octarine, fine, but he's seen other people mention witches and wizards even in this world, so it can't be as strange as all that. And she does have the glow! Not being able to cast a spell of his own doesn't make him blind.]

Witches are women who do magic. ...They're not supposed to, [he adds, his mouth twisting somewhere between embarrassment and University-taught righteousness.] But they do.

[he gets the honey down though, apparently still inclined to be biddable.]

[action]

[lightandglory]

Do you mean sages? Or bishops, perhaps? I assumed you must be a sage, given your hat. [...His hat that says 'wizzard' on it.

There are quite a few words for people who use magic where L'Arachel's from. Priests and clerics, mages, monks, troubadours, mage knights... it's a long list, but 'wizards' and 'witches' are not on it, as far as she's aware. And she should know.]

I am a woman who uses magic, and I have never been called a witch. I am a valkyrie, in fact. But why are witches not supposed to practice magic?

[She takes a seat at the table to wait for the tea to steep, and regards Rincewind with a curious tilt of her head.]

...And since when is magic limited to one colour? That's just silly!

[action]

[wizzardly]

I don't know what either of those are. [she gets a deadpan look for the comment on his hat (look, he knows it's spelled wrong, but it's still readable) but otherwise doesn't comment.]

I don't know what a valkyrie is either, but look, in my world you'd be called a witch. We'll just leave it at that. And they're - well, they aren't formally schooled. They don't know the science of magic, they just sort of... do it on their own. Which isn't the proper way to do it at all. [never mind that they aren't allowed to attend the University in the first place, so they couldn't learn the science even if they wanted to.]

[but here he sighs, taking his own mug and following her to the table.]

It's not one color, it's the color. The color that all others pale to in comparison, the King Color. You might do magic that looks red or blue, but around it every time, will be the glow of octarine.

[action]

[lightandglory]

[Sages like big floppy hats okay. Even if they don't typically have words on them.

L'Arachel gasps, looking rather alarmed at the notion of people practicing magic without having been properly taught.]

Oh dear, don't they know that's dangerous? Magic is not something to be toyed with! Using it without proper instruction--why, they could get themselves incinerated that way!

[She shakes her head.] Well. I can assure you that I am no witch, for you see, I've received the very best schooling Magvel has to offer. As a valkyrie I am trained in the use of both magical staves and sacred Light spells.

[And then she just. Regards him blankly. King Colour indeed... she's been practicing magic all her life and has never seen such a thing.]

...Are you quite certain your eyesight is healthy? If you've suffered some injury to your eyes, I'll be happy to heal them for you!

[action]

[wizzardly]

You would think that. [but from what he hears they're distressingly good at it. Not that he, as a wizard, would ever actually concede that.]

...Is it an all woman's school or something? Are all valkyries women? [maybe it's just another word for "witch" in her world.]

And never you mind. It's clear that's just a difference in where we're from, although I'm sure I don't understand how it's possible. You mean people who can't practice magic in your world can see it just as well as those who can? - What about Death? Can you all see Death?

[action]

[lightandglory]

Oh, no, magic isn't taught in actual schools. But there is no shortage of qualified personal tutors, and as Rausten's princess, I had only the best. A magic school is quite a clever idea, though... [She looks thoughtful for a moment, and then beams.] Yes, I think I shall have to bring it up with my uncle! A prestigious magic school in the heart of Rausten that will attract students from all over the continent! I'm brilliant!

[Never mind that it wasn't really her idea.]

...Now that you mention it though, all valkyries are women. I wonder why that is! There's nothing to stop a man from being one, after all. They can use Light magic and staves perfectly well, and they can ride... they just seem to prefer being sages and bishops, for some reason. [She gives a wave of her hand.] Well, no matter, they may do as they please.

[And she tilts her head, regarding Rincewind with clear bemusement.] Well, of course everyone can see magic! The fire and lightning and bright flashes of light are very hard to miss! [What a silly question.] ...But what does that have to do with death? Naturally, most people have seen it at some point, and if they haven't, they will. But that's hardly an appropriate topic for teatime.

[action]

[wizzardly]

[wow Rincewind is just going to... quietly drink his tea and give the princess an even harder stare than before. Seriously, seriously they don't even have formal magic education for people with potential?

He rolls his eyes but doesn't comment as she hijacks the thought - he's used to that.] Wait, so you've got to have a tutor if you're going to do magic? How do the poorer people manage it then?

And that's still not what I mean. I don't mean seeing death, I mean seeing Death. The figure. Little lacking in the skin department, likes to wear black?

[action]

[lightandglory]

[L'Arachel continues to look quite perplexed.] The poor manage it in the same way that anyone else does, I would imagine! I've never met a skilled magic user who would be less willing to take on a poor apprentice than a rich one. It's talent that matters, after all. Don't tell me people in your world are expected to pay for such instruction!

[She laughs lightly at the mere notion, and sips her tea. It actually turned out decent; she's starting to really get the hang of this technology thing!]

...An embodiment of death, you mean? [She considers this, brows furrowing. It's not unheard of for stories and poems to speak of death almost as a person, but...] I've seen a great many unholy abominations, including ones without skin, but none of them were actually called Death. Is it very different from a bonewalker?

[action]

[wizzardly]

...No, of course not, but then ours a large institution. Tutoring is different. At least where I'm from. Generally being a tutor means you're getting paid. Otherwise it's more... [he waves a hand like it will conjure a word for him, but fails.] I dunno, but there's got to be another word for it.

The embodiment of Death. Not a. [firmly. This is an important distinction to make.] Bonewalkers - like zombies or something? The undead? This is nothing like that. This is the figure who comes to every single person who dies. Every. One.

[action]

[lightandglory]

Well, magic talent does tend to run in families, so a child's tutor will often be a parent or some other relative. But many skilled magic users are quite willing to teach any child who is gifted enough to learn. [She sips her tea.] I do very much like that institution idea, though.

[And she shakes her head.] No, no, not like zombies. A bonewalker is essentially a skeleton with a weapon. Zombies don't use weapons, and tend to still have some flesh, even if it's rotting. [...For someone who just said that death isn't an appropriate topic of discussion, she's awfully nonchalant about rotting flesh.] But why would I have seen something that appears when you die? I'm clearly very much alive. ...For that matter, how have you seen such a thing?

[action]

[wizzardly]

[it still all sounds just a little too idealistic to the cynical wizard, but he can sense when a topic is only going to spin in circles and it's time to drop it. So he does, with a little sip of tea. Which is actually very good.

...And which somehow tasted better before they got on the topic of rotting flesh. Rincewind's face scrunches, and he sets his cup down for now.] All right, all right, you don't have to get into it like that. Really.

Because if you're a wizard or a witch you just have the ability to see him. Most people only get to when they, er, show up for their final meeting.

[he shifts a little, uncomfortably, at the following question.] ...Well, people have died around me. Erm. And apparently I've been suppose to, a few times.

[a pause.]

Several. Maybe. ...More than a hand full. But he keeps getting it wrong somehow. [much to the wizard's relief.]

[action]

[lightandglory]

[L'Arachel notices the face Rincewind makes as he sets his tea aside, and her brows furrow in concern.] Oh, did we brew it too strong?

[She takes another sip. It certainly tastes fine to her.]

Many people have died around me as well, and I've never seen any embodiment of death. Further proof that I'm not a witch, I suppose. But if you are still alive, then I must insist that you were not supposed to die. Otherwise you surely would have! [...She says with a cheerful smile.

And then pauses as something occurs to her.] ...You are still alive, are you not?