maskormenace | ♫001

[ Video switches on to show a man with a ginger ponytail in a hideous green v-neck frowning deeply and looking incredibly disappointed and/or frustrated, sitting on a park bench as dusk settles in.]

Okay, I've been here for less than a day, so would someone mind explaining to me how it is that the United States government can allocate all these funds to keep us imPorts in nicely furnished, comfortable homes in several cities, and expect native businesses and companies to provide us with paid employment, yet its own citizens are still facing what seem like absurd rates of homelessness? Like I said, I only just arrived, but it didn't take me long to find people who have lost their jobs and homes to make way for the growing imPort population.

[ Someone spent his whole first day in Heropa in a park, befriending homeless people. Continuing on, he sighs heavily, as though this is personally wronging and inconveniencing him, not people he doesn't even know. ]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we're to blame for this. After all, it's not as though it's our fault some unstable technology yanked us from our worlds and lives. Of course this world's government would have to provide for us until we can return home. But every single one of us has the responsibility to give back.

So, what are you doing to help? I'll be taking donations to start up a charity for natives displaced by our presence, if you can't come up with anything on your own.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Couple years.

[ He walks a pair of coconut shrimp over to the dip like they're little feet. ]

So's Mick, too, by the sound of it.

So, how's the future?

Oh, you know, some good stuff, some bad stuff. Internet's fast and full of hilarious cat pictures, but there's a website that lets everyone you've ever met know exactly what you had for breakfast and start fights with you over politics and the correct use of capital letters. Arnold Schwarzennegger is the governor of California, and the president almost died choking on a pretzel. Oh, right, and they made three new Star Wars movies, but they all completely sucked.

[ Piper sighs heavily. ]

Why did I expect a reasonable answer. At least your sense of humor hasn't changed.

I swear on my life it's all true.

There's no way. Arnold Schwarzenegger? Really? You could've tried for someone realistic at least.

They call him the Governator.

James. Come on.

Ask anyone. Ask them about the Governator.

No, because I don't want to sound like a moron.

Please, Hartley, live a little.

Sometimes I really do wonder why I hang out with you.

Is that any way to talk to your oldest friend? And when he's buying you dinner, too.

I'm not going to sweet talk you, if that's what you're after. You know damn well you're annoying.

There's a world of in-between there, Pipes.

Is there?

[ He grins around a sip of his beer. ]

Between sweet-talking someone and wondering why you hang out with them at all? For your sake, I'd hope so.

I meant with you.

Be nice or I'll take back that salad.

[ No he won't, he hates salad. ]

Ha.

[ He takes a bite of his salad, almost daring James to take it. ]

...It's good to see you. I mean, I literally just did, by my perspective, but you know what I mean.

See, now you're just saying that because I called you out. And because you don't want to share your salad.

I'm being serious! [ He laughs, though. ]

Mick was happier to see me.

[ Maybe if he makes it into a competition. ]

How much happier?

You can't really quantify something like that. But it was definitely at least 30%.

(no subject)

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